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I just had a big moment in dad life this morning

My kindergartener came over to the Screencaps HQ desk to hand me a Masters ball marker sent to me by Patrick C. in Perrysburg (who was also nice enough to send along a shirt and the Masters patron guide from his visit to Augusta) and my son says something about “Masters.”

I asked him how he knew it said “Masters” and he proceeds to tell me he sounded it out.

Talk about a proud moment.

Then I showed him a TNML sticker and had him sound it out. And just like that, we have another reader in the house!

This probably isn’t how Mrs. Screencaps envisioned her baby learning the ins and outs of reading, but here we are.

Odds & ends:

  • Speaking of Patrick C. in Perrysburg, I’ll give him credit for spending the $10 to mail the Masters gear instead of just dumping it in my mailbox. It’s clearly one of those interesting moments where he might not have known whether it would be a little odd to be dumping gear in my mailbox without ever having met me in person. I need to find a time to grab a beer with Patrick C. to hear all about his trip.
  • Guys, please don’t ask to send me a bunch of stuff. Patrick C. is a special case because he is a local and I’d sent him and his buddies to a golf outing. I’m actually looking to liquidate a bunch of stuff brands have sent me over the years. I do not need a Fat Tire beanie.
  • Tom H. in Fort Wayne (who invited me to the Bengals-Steelers game) has now stopped by twice to drop off maple syrup. Now, I’m not going to lie, the first time Tom H. dropped off maple syrup straight out of his maple trees I wasn’t sure what I was getting into giving out my address to a maple syrup master. It turns out Tom H. is a normal, great guy and I was even able to meet Mrs. Tom H. during his last stop.
  • It was a huge honor to hear Mrs. Tom H. say how she liked our neighborhood and all the trees.
  • No, it’s not time to give out my home address to the rest of you so you can pop into my garage to raid my beer fridge.
  • Last night I went into full spring cleanup mode.
  • I’d say the yard waste bag count right now is up to somewhere around 12-13 with another massive black waste bag filled up. I never thought we’d see a week of weather like this in April. Today, it’s going to hit 81-83 with full sun and wind to the point where there are burn bans in western Ohio counties. Honestly, it’s starting to dry out to the point where we’re going to need a shower to cut down on the dust and give the turf roots a drink of the H20.
  • There’s something about that first brush burn of the year and the look on the kindergartener’s face when he learns it’s OK to launch sticks into the pit. And just like that, no sticks are left behind in the garden beds. The dog hates this time of year because most of her stick toys go bye-bye.
  • Don’t worry, Daisy, the wind will blow 30 more out of the tree by the end of the day.
  • Tuesday, I mentioned TNML stickers and I can’t believe how many more requests came in. I’ve never seen anything like this mowing movement.

I can’t believe how many of you made it to Augusta…it gives me hope that I’ll make it soon

• Grant H. from the Crosby, North Dakota Screencaps crew writes:

Got out of the North Dakota frozen tundra, able to hit the Wednesday practice round at Augusta. Just phenomenal. What a place to be. The Mecca to me. Had a blast in the relaxed practice round atmosphere hanging out. Spent about 8 hours there, then had to meet up with JD. Anyway, TNML will be delayed a bit up here until all of the snow and runoff disappears. Best of luck to the mowers next week.


For those of you new around here, the Crosby, North Dakota (pop. 1,061) crew is a group of Screencaps readers who stole the hearts and minds of this community over the last couple of years as they documented what it’s like to be golfers in one of the more remote parts of the United States where playing golf presents many challenges, especially when the local river floods.

Grant and the guys have to get out there and fix things if they want to golf.

Memories of volunteering at the U.S. Open

• MP in Staunton, Va. writes:

Joe, enjoyed your takes on the Masters. The reports from Anonymous at the Masters made me harken back to when I was a volunteer at the US Open in 2014.

This was a once in a lifetime happening because the US Open and the US Women’s Open were held a week apart at the same venue (Pinehurst No. 2). How I got to be a volunteer at both tournaments was very simple: I replied to an email from the USGA. I listed some of the things I was interested in (working a hand-operated scoreboard, marshal, merchandise tent, etc.) and waited for a reply. I was assigned to the merchandise pavilion and the bag check.

Most of the time I was assigned to the bag check and the philosophy was the same as at the Masters. People would load up on merchandise and drop off their bags at the bag check, follow the action, and pick them up later. I also was a cashier/bagger in the merchandise pavilion. On the Saturday of the men’s Open, we were totally slammed as people right and left were buying all manner of merchandise there. However, the two weeks I spent there were not all workdays. I got to follow the action of both tournaments, go to the movies, play golf at Tobacco Road and another course whose name escapes me.

If you play Tobacco Road, I recommend bringing plenty of golf balls because there is lots of high grass there. One highlight I’ll always remember was meeting Dottie Pepper at a book signing at the merchandise pavilion. When I first met her, I was rendered speechless. I picked up a copy of her first book. It’s called Bogey Tees Off. This book is perfect for your two sons.

It’s a story about a range ball named Bogey Ballton who is tired of being just a range ball and who wants to play on the PGA Tour. It’s funny and has cute illustrations. You can still pick it up for cheap ($5) at Amazon. All in all, it was a great two weeks I spent down there.

The bots are coming for our brains

• Alex R. writes:

Joe this concerns me, they get much better we might get sucked in….

I love to see that T-shirt manager Olivia and Ronnie T-Shirts have gear arriving BEFORE opening day

• Pat A. writes:

I am ready for April 20th!  Unfortunately, the pre-season here in Fulshear Tx starts early.  That bad boy TNML sticker went on my 15-year-old JD, one of 4 JDs that I maintain and use to mow various acres of lawns.  The pre-season is now complete with the arrival of the TNML T.  Thank you.  Keep up the great work!

Making the switch

• Paul W. in Brighton, Colorado writes:

I love the Outkick website. I was a Barstool Sports guy for the longest time but talk about selling out. You guys are my new go to website. I read I just needed to request a sticker and you’d send one so that’s exactly what I’m doing. Hoping for a sweet sticker. Keep up the good work.


Paul’s getting a sticker.

Parkour Life

• Anonymous writes:

I think I almost got thrown off a plane today for laughing so hard.

How’s your pitching arm?

• Patrick F., the jet fuel salesman and former minor league farmhand who told me to stop being a pussy and get out there and throw batting practice to the kids, writes:

How’s it feel?  Getting stronger?


I have to be honest, the pitching arm felt just fine Tuesday morning, but now I’m sitting here and I think cutting down ornamental grasses and shoving the reeds down into the garden bag was more of a strain than throwing smoke to the house ball team.


• Another anonymous writes :

Really enjoy Screencaps, met Clay a few years ago at a Vandy Law wedding. 

I’m in Columbus in a townhome so working long hours at home I keep a toothbrush in the main bathroom outside my office. That toothpaste gets replaced less frequently so it’s on the left but I purchased a new one for when the one in the middle runs out in the master bathroom and low and behold, always the same toothpaste but the sizes continue to shrink.

Anyone thinking they’re getting less than before is probably right.

What is the patio must-have of 2023?

I was sitting on the patio with Mrs. Screencaps during lunch Tuesday and I started thinking about the upgrades made in 2022 and what we needed to add for 2023.

What are you guys buying? What have you seen that you’d like to buy? What upgrades are you going to make? Do any of you have fountains/water features? I keep thinking it’s time for some sort of water feature that would force me to spend even more time cleaning around the patio.

Spring has sprung. Share those projects and items Screencaps readers need this season.

Go have an incredible day. Enjoy that sunshine.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Numbers from :

Stuff You Guys Sent In & Stuff I Like:

Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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