Elizabeth Hurley Wears White Again, Jeter-ARod Reunion At The World Series & Dan Dakich Hate Mail

Random thoughts in my head this morning

  1. It’s going to be much more exciting when the college football playoff is expanded and the committee releases a 12-team bracket on a weekly basis. I want to see which teams will get an on-campus game in December. Take a look at the current standings. Michigan would get a home game in late December. Yes, I want to see a team like USC visiting Ann Arbor in December to face that rushing attack, which is worthless against the SEC in a warm-weather stadium. Give me a snow bowl game around the holidays. That’s must-watch TV.
  2. If it wasn’t Mrs. Screencaps’ birthday Tuesday, I would’ve got out there and fired up the leaf blower at 7. Incredible weather. My question: Are you mad when leaf blowers are going after dark?
  3. I’m up in the air about this whole Twitter $8 charge for a blue checkmark, especially when I’m in the pageviews business. Blue checkmarks do have an advantage and gain followers at a higher clip than people who don’t have a blue checkmark. Don’t be surprised when workers request $8 a month out of their employers to maintain that checkmark because it is of value to the company. Those days are coming.
  4. Going in, I always think eating a slice of pumpkin pie is going to be just an ordinary experience and then I eat the slice and can’t believe I thought such nonsense.
  5. The exploding confetti birthday card I got for Mrs. Screencaps was a huge hit. She pressed the button as ordered by the card and the confetti shot out of the top of the card. The kids were fired up.
  6. I prepped for Thanksgiving by passing out in the recliner after the slice of pumpkin pie. It felt amazing.
  7. The traffic created by the new Raising Cane’s down the road is ridiculous and a huge pain in the ass. It’s chicken, people. You don’t need to try it on day one to report back to your Instagram followers.

Tara shares her smoked turkey advice

• Daniel in Dallas wanted advice on how to prepare the bird this holiday season and Tara P. in Georgia started throwing elbows sliding into the Screencaps Inbox. She was like Ross Chastain fighting for a playoff transfer.

Tara P. writes:

Daniel in Dallas and I are practically neighbors.  I live about 1.5 hours North of Daniel in Ringgold, GA.  (Dolly Parton was married here).  And like all good neighbors and Southern cooks do, I have the perfect way to get his turkey to the table tasty.  This should come with a warning that Daniel will from this point forward be in charge of the turkey every year.  

The secret or not-so-secret to a tasty turkey is the very important step of brining your bird before you smoke/roast/fry it.  In the case of smoking, I would say it is best to DRY brine it.  You could do a wet brine, but it requires pans/pots big enough to submerge the bird. 

I have never let my family down using this method. 

No more drowning the turkey in giblet gravy unless that is your thing.  This turkey method delivers flavor and juice!   I came across this recipe for a dry brine in a Southern Living magazine a couple years ago and followed to a T it will not fail.  Although, you might have to adjust cooking time for the size of your bird and the type of smoker you have.  We use an Orion Smoker.  

Dry Rub Recipe;

https://www.southernliving.com/recipes/smoked-turkey-rub-herbs

Cooking Instructions:

https://www.southernliving.com/recipes/herb-rubbed-smoked-turkey

PSA….DON’T FORGET TO THAW THE TURKEY STARTING TWO DAYS PRIOR TO COOKING OR BRINING!

You heard the lady! Now I find myself wanting to smoke a turkey even though I’m not required to cook a turkey this year.

• Guy G. in western New York, who knows a thing or two about smoking meat, writes:

I’m glad that others can see the value of smoking fat cap up. It just makes sense…as long as it is scored!

For Thanksgiving turkey. Here is the key to smoking one perfect, and not drying it out. It has worked for me for years.

·         Use a 50/50 apple juice/water injection. Also, use this in your drip pan

·         Cut the skin in 6 or so places, and place a tablespoon of butter in each

·         Coarse chop an onion for the cavity.

·         Smoke normally, and cover with foil loosely when desired color is achieved

Sorry about your Bengals, Joe. You’re free to join Bills Mafia for the bit this year. Wagon is pretty full, but we’ll create a little space for you.

I’m starting to think Georgia natives love food

• Now we hear from Jeremy P. in Alpharetta, GA who is in on Daniel in Dallas, Georgia’s pork badonk methods.

Jeremy P. writes:

I wanted to thank Daniel in Dallas for the different way to deal with the fat cap. I’ll give his method a try and see if we like it.

Also thanks to Jon in Dahlonega for the info about ‘why’ a fat cap should be up or down on the smoker. I never knew that. The fire pot on my smoker is under the drip pan, so that’s why Chef Gregg says to put it down on a Recteq. My dad’s smoke pit used wood coals underneath the meat, so that’s why he put his down I’m sure. But it’s great to know the reason behind it now, instead of thinking ‘that’s just the way it goes on the smoker’.

Aren’t these Screencaps conversations so much better to read than anything else in the news?!

YES! YES! YES!

We’re pretty much Good Morning America before executives got their hands on that show and turned it into 45 minutes of murders, RSV numbers spiking and politics. I miss Joan Lunden getting into the kitchen on a calm Wednesday morning where she would help cook up a nice meal while a nice piano song played at 5% volume.

Remember, this column is the real heartbeat of America. That’s why the traffic numbers are through the roof. Hundreds of thousands of people are reading this column and your thoughts on cooking turkeys and pork badonks.

The Screencaps method works and I’m forever grateful that nobody else follows this business model.

It’s true

Dads being dads

• Johnny R. writes:

College football week 10….Taylor Swift #1 Vols #2. From a dad with teenage girls who was awakened before daylight letting me know that TayTay’s 2023 concert series had just been announced! I immediately felt several thousand dollars leaving my wallet. I guess that’s why we do it!

Happy National Ohio Day to those who observe the holiday

Was the ump pro-Phillies?

• Astros fan Chris B. writes:

Very different ump than last game(.)

And later added:

Can’t win with a zero on the board. Dammit!

The Ts take on Spain

I thought the Ts were eating French fries. It turns out that’s actually calamari.

http://traftonseuropeanadventure202223.code.blog/2022/11/02/10-30-22-11-02-22-logrono-spain/

Let’s go have an incredible first Wednesday of November. You don’t get many of them, so make ’em count.

Take care.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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