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Don’t Blink…sending them off to college edition

• Zach R. writes:

I really enjoyed the past “Don’t blink” series.  I know this would be rehashing that theme in a way, but I know that the best damn readership in America (as named by the writer), will have some invaluable advice that might be pertinent to many others at this time of year.

My oldest daughter is about to start her freshman year of college and I certainly feel like I’ve blinked.  My wife and I are already struggling with the idea of our “baby” leaving the nest and being away from us for months at a time and she hasn’t even left yet!  She’s a great kid and I’m sure that she’ll do well.  But what about her poor parents?  Any tips from the readers?  What should we be doing/advising/talking about with her in these final days before she starts?  How do we handle those first months she’s gone?  She’s going to be 2.5 hours away- how should we handle visits?  How often is too often or not often enough?  Anything the college parent vets wish they had done differently?

I’m sure you have a huge backlog of topics for the column so if this doesn’t make the cut, I completely understand.  Keep doing what you do; it’s one of the highlights of my day!

Kinsey: It’s time for those parents who’ve been through the college years to step up for Zach who is about to go through some things as he drops off his daughter at college. Help this man!

This is actually a great time for this email because there are clearly many other parents in the same boat, especially with the visitation question.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

By the way, the ‘Don’t Blink’ series started as a goof on the Facebook Mom Squads® who over-cliche everything. Now here we are with a Don’t Blink series where we can have some fun with the cliche while learning from others who can help us through the wars with our brains as these kids grow up so fast.

You can tell Zach doesn’t want to be that dad who is suffocating, yet he wants his daughter to go have success in life.

My advice: Don’t be afraid to VRBO a house near campus and offer up a home-cooked meal weekend visit. Fire up a grill, tell your daughter to invite some friends, throw together homemade sides, maybe homemade muffins in mid-October when the weather changes.

You know, dad stuff.


• Jim M. writes:

I know it has been discussed ad nauseum. The NFL pre-season kicked off last night. And so for us came discussion of the Gauntlet Fantasy Football game. I generally have the idea, but is there an official rule refresher? We are trying to get our 8 players – you have $100 of funny money to bid on four teams. Then every week, if your team wins, you get a point.

Most points at end of season – victory! Am I missing anything? We are just going to start our bidding on the Super Bowl Champ Rams – whoever wins that bid gets to pick the next one. Now just deciding on the entry fee. If anyone has some nice excel templates to keep track of everything, I’m always looking to beg borrow and steal rather than making my own!! 

Kinsey: This is exactly the format, Jim. Next Tuesday I will post the official Gauntlet rules as explained to me and how to handle ties. Then we will figure out a way to connect people who don’t have a league to play in. Remember, you don’t want to hold the drafts until after that final preseason game.

‘Holy S–t’

• Heywood J. writes:

I’m watching the 1982 The Catch game between the Cowboys and 49ers and some fan is making what must be a $1 million per minute cell phone call in the stands.

The haters will tell Jablowme that’s a transistor radio so 49ers fan could hear Don Klein & Don Heinrich on the call. The modern man like Heywood will say this guy was George Jetson and he was calling his bookie for a 2H line.

You make the call.

Beau in Toledo is back with a massive email…save this one for lunch break!

• Beau writes:

Man… been a crummy last couple of weekends for You and The Fam…

This Too, Shall Pass, Brother… but not until You TP Offender’s houses right before it rains. Mom taught me that one. 

I’ll have to decide which one of these Aviator Brewing Company Aviator Brewing Company | The Best Beer, BBQ, and Pizza in Raleigh, NC bevs I’ll knock back as a “sacrifice” in hopes that better weekends are in Our “CapNation Leader’s future.  (Snagged a few when I went to visit Pops in Fuquay-Varina last month.)

This bottle might rest… until maybe FonBire Season… Olde Raleigh Distillery | North Carolina Distillery | Whiskey Bar

First and Foremost: Bo T.


One of my few regrets in Life is not Serving Our Country in Her Service (my smartass mindset wouldn’t have made it, anyway), but I do know a couple of things about Michigan.

For starters, if Your travels to the Wolverine State bring You anywhere near the 419, get with Commish Joe… the beer’s on me.  And I’m with Joe on the canoe/kayak idea… the Au Sable River can’t be done too many times. Make sure Your new side-by-side can carry said canoe/kayak, too.

Something tells me You don’t need any advice on hunting or fishing tools. 

Golf is AWESOME in Michigan in the summer.  My Brother Andrew was in town this weekend, and we both learned of a new Jack Nicklaus Church…HOME BASE – American Dunes Golf Club

Yeah, this is a must weekend. 

Traverse City area has a lot of everything… golf, wine, fishing, hunting, relaxing, You name it.  I’ve been told the sand dunes along Lake Michigan are a must do, as well.

Don’t skip out on a Tigers Home Game, or a Saturday trip to The Big House.  Even if You’re not a Fan of Either, Respect is Loved.

Best Wishes and Safe Travels!

P.S.  If You have a skid-steer front loader that You used to clean up tornado damage in OK, bring it to MI for winter weather.  Trust me on this one.  And get a big soup pot for Sunday dinner and a good axe to chop wood to cook it with… some times the Old Ways are The Best.

Carrying on…Joe…  As far as emmilyelizabethh from the ‘gram?


Miss Liz Hurley?? Yeah, that’s Everyday Dale-level stuff. I dare You, Joe. 

Jeep Wave: watch a Harley Rider pass another Harley Rider… same thing, clutch hand, low arm wave… Ranks Right Up There with We #TNML Members on League Night, including the #ZeroTurnNod. 

40oz.Roulette : Awesome Fun!!  We had something similar on our weeklong golf trips to the Bowling Green, Ky. area… we called them “penalty beers”.  Grab a bagged beer from a cooler without looking, and drink it after the first double-bogey… if no +2 scores, you get to pick who drinks your now-warm penalty beer(No one ever suffered said Fate).  We’d go to the ONE “wet county” store and stock up, then hit the oddball beer fridge aisle; Arrogant Bastard Ale was a must.  Bigfoot Ale Bigfoot Ale – Aging Barleywine Craft Beer – Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. tasted like it had BigFfoot’s foot in the brew tub, ftr. The most oddball name made better choices.

We all learned to double bogey the 1st hole so we had to drink a nasty beer while it’s at least cold. 

Could be a plan for the PIB Tourney next year??

SideNote: Kenny Perry’s course Kenny Perry’s Country Creek Golf Course (kpcountrycreek.com) is a must 18.  If You’re lucky, Mr. Perry will be there, and He’d love nothing more than to say HEY!  The #KentuckyCannon is a Guy You’d love to hang with for an hour or 6!

WOW this email got long…

Not trying to start another “beans in chili” war, but am i allowed to drink can #BudLight poured into a Yeti Tumbler with my Brother’s Company logo on it?

Gonna do it anyway…

I’m out like the Fat Kid in Kickball! 

“Hope no one was on the poop deck”

• Lee D. sent in this one:

Talk about a small world

• Ron in LO writes in with a rugby lesson and then drops a nugget at the end of the post. I’ll make it BOLD:

Not to get into another us v them topic but Rugby League is NOT Rugby Union (the game’s 7 a side version being what you see in the Olympics).

Watching Rugby League is like watching terrible WAC Football. It is boring. I’d rather watch The View.  If you want spectacle the HSBC 7’s Tourney can be watched live and on replay on Peacock. The crowds are insane.  The matches fantastic.

Even better go to YouTube and watch Matches 2 and 3 from Ireland’s Tour this Summer to New Zealand. Top 2 Teams in the world vying for domination. Fantastic games. It will become your summer to sport.  The 2031 Men’s and 2033 Women’s Rugby World Cups will be contested in the USA. God stuff.

Side note on Do Hard Things, Bill Rigney was my Godfather.

Have fun becoming a new rugby fan, the rabbit hole of the greatest game awaits you.

Kinsey: Talk about sliding in a mention to test if I’m reading these emails. Here I was triggered because Ron and New Zealand Pete are ganging up on my lack of rugby knowledge and all of a sudden out of nowhere Ron busts out the godfather news.

That’s why we read Screencaps, folks. You never know when some odd moment is going to pop up.

I’m pretty much obligated to buy this, but my wife is already fired up over the 6-foot Dale cardboard cutout a reader sent to me that’s in the basement

• Mike T. in Idaho knows me very well. He sent in this listing:

Jeep wave & leg out the door quick-hitters:

• Anonymous writes:

About the Jeep wave. I bought a ’94 Jeep Wrangler and 23 years later broke down and bought a ’17 Jeep Wrangler. The wave is definitely regional and most prevalent in the Midwest. Originally living in Michigan in the 90s everyone would wave at each other. Then moved down south and waved quite a bit. Moved to the east coast and not that much. Now out in Tahoe CA/NV you hardly ever see someone wave. Maybe it’s just because there are so many Wranglers out here. Or maybe it’s just because Midwestern folk are the nicest in the country and like to wave to each other?

• Guy G., whom I trust with multiple topics including grilling and mowing, in western New York writes:

I very much enjoy my wife’s Jeep. She has been a Jeep girl since she was 19. Through the summer, top is down, and the front doors are off. Not quite ready to take the back doors off with the 2 small ones in the back.

Small town waves are the only waves we give. We live in the sticks, and Jeep people here understand the Jeep Wave® mentality. It is not often that we go into the city, but the wave is all wrong every time. We’ve stopped doing it. While I can’t answer the toys on the dash, because that’s just stupid, but do have a comment on the left leg out the door. It’s freedom. We drive a stick, so its not always hanging out, but when its cruising time, and we’re sitting in 5th gear, out it goes. While we don’t have one on ours, we have even seen foot pegs.

Whether you have tube steps, a peg, or nothing, with the doors off, get your foot out the door. Feels good man!

• Jonathan S. in Baton Rouge writes:

Let Jon M know that the left leg out the door is to direct airflow to the boys.  If the doors are off, it’s probably warm to hot and the jeep is no luxury vehicle with the cooled seats that create airflow to the backside. Hanging the foot out can allow one to direct additional airflow to the driver, specifically to the boys.  Enjoy that mental picture next time you see a jeep driver with leg out!

Finally, which country sucks down the most beer

And there we go, a solid edition of Screencaps where column veterans showed their value to the community and a couple of new emailers slid in with topics that will cause the inbox to overflow.

Let’s go have a strong day. Don’t let the news get you down. Power through.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.


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