Don't Be Shocked Sean Payton Can Dance, His Old House Had A Dance Club

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Sean Payton’s locker room dancing display after the Saints trounced the Buccaneers is all the rage today as people try to figure out where the 56-year-old football coach learned enough moves to impress his players. Being a treasure trove of useless information — not on a Rovellian level, but in my own way — I decided to dig deep into the nearly 13 years of internet knowledge swimming around in my brain and bust out a Payton nugget from way back.

I learned in 2014 that Coach Payton owned a dance club in a Westlake, Texas house that he was selling to settle a divorce from his then-wife Beth. You don’t have a dance club in your house without learning how to dance. In fact, smart football coaches should be installing dance clubs into their 8,000 sq. ft. houses, especially if they have a full basement. Take 1,500 sq. ft. of the basement and turn it into a club. I’m talking DJ booth, private VIP booths with bottle service, top-of-the-line lighting, sound system, etc.

You know the fastest way to an NFL player’s heart? I mean, besides money? A coach who can move in the locker room after a big win. Think back to Andy Reid’s dancing abilities. His players would run through a Waffle House six-foot by six-foot front window for a plate of covered, smothered and chunked for that guy.

Think about how handy it would be for a coach to have a club at his house. Players could come over, hear words of inspiration from Miss Cindy (or whatever her down-home name is), eat some home-cookin’ and then bond all night with a bus full of IG models. Sure beats forcing guys to go bowling at some dirtball bowling alley.