Don’t Be THAT GIRL on Game Day

The most magical time of year is in full swing. There’s not much, besides your team being terrible, that can mess up a college football game day. One thing that can? Being THAT GIRL. I’ve spent my fair share of time at college football games. I grew up watching UGA play between the hedges on weekends and then spent six glorious years in college at Alabama and UGA. I’m pretty sure that qualifies me to help you avoid becoming THAT GIRL this fall. Bros, please pass this along to your significant others. 

  1. No hair bows. Bows are for little girls. You have managed to make it through at least high school, get it out of your hair. You look like a moron. I don’t care what Total Sorority Move tells you.

  2. Don’t wear pumps to a game. Trust me, I get dressing up for games. But we know you are uncomfortable and nobody wants to hear you whine about it. Save it for church on Sunday. Wedges, flats, boots, there ya go.

  3. Stop getting blackout sloppy drunk to the extent that someone has to spend the second half of the game babysitting you. You, girl puking in the stands, are in fact the worst.

  4. No body paint allowed. The cute little face tat is fine, but do not paint your face or your body. I would assume this will come back to haunt you later.

  5. Stop asking your date or the guy around you what is going on during every. Single. Play. If you really want to know, educate yourself before Saturday.

  6. Sundresses are perfect, day dresses are fine, jeans, boots and a top, all great. But a cocktail dress? Hell no. Are you sitting in the President’s box? Didn’t think so.

  7. Alabama fans, quit with the Houndstooth. Just stop. Bear Bryant is not coming back.  

  8. You get ONE article of logoed school apparel. Choose; is it going to be the T-shirt or the hat? Your sorority sticker or a generic school button? ONE. We get it, you’re a fan, or you wouldn’t be there.

  9. Don’t purchase a player’s jersey with “Mrs. Player’s Last Name” on the back. You look like a stage five clinger. Men are literally running away from you.

  10. DO help sneak minis in. There’s a reason we carry big purses, put them to good use. Don’t refuse to help and then expect liquor inside. Enjoy sobriety, Trina.

Happy College Football season to you all! May the B1G stay out of the playoffs and your team beat your rival! Of course I’ll be attending games this season, follow @MattieLouOKTC for updates.

Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.


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