Don’t Be THAT GIRL on Game Day

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The most magical time of year is in full swing. There’s not much, besides your team being terrible, that can mess up a college football game day. One thing that can? Being THAT GIRL. I’ve spent my fair share of time at college football games. I grew up watching UGA play between the hedges on weekends and then spent six glorious years in college at Alabama and UGA. I’m pretty sure that qualifies me to help you avoid becoming THAT GIRL this fall. Bros, please pass this along to your significant others. 

  1. No hair bows. Bows are for little girls. You have managed to make it through at least high school, get it out of your hair. You look like a moron. I don’t care what Total Sorority Move tells you.

  2. Don’t wear pumps to a game. Trust me, I get dressing up for games. But we know you are uncomfortable and nobody wants to hear you whine about it. Save it for church on Sunday. Wedges, flats, boots, there ya go.

  3. Stop getting blackout sloppy drunk to the extent that someone has to spend the second half of the game babysitting you. You, girl puking in the stands, are in fact the worst.

  4. No body paint allowed. The cute little face tat is fine, but do not paint your face or your body. I would assume this will come back to haunt you later.

  5. Stop asking your date or the guy around you what is going on during every. Single. Play. If you really want to know, educate yourself before Saturday.

  6. Sundresses are perfect, day dresses are fine, jeans, boots and a top, all great. But a cocktail dress? Hell no. Are you sitting in the President’s box? Didn’t think so.

  7. Alabama fans, quit with the Houndstooth. Just stop. Bear Bryant is not coming back.  

  8. You get ONE article of logoed school apparel. Choose; is it going to be the T-shirt or the hat? Your sorority sticker or a generic school button? ONE. We get it, you’re a fan, or you wouldn’t be there.

  9. Don’t purchase a player’s jersey with “Mrs. Player’s Last Name” on the back. You look like a stage five clinger. Men are literally running away from you.

  10. DO help sneak minis in. There’s a reason we carry big purses, put them to good use. Don’t refuse to help and then expect liquor inside. Enjoy sobriety, Trina.

Happy College Football season to you all! May the B1G stay out of the playoffs and your team beat your rival! Of course I’ll be attending games this season, follow @MattieLouOKTC for updates.

Written by Clay Travis

Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021.

One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines.

Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide.

Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports.

Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.