Dominatrix Sent An Email To Roger Goodell Offering Her Assistance With The First Down Chains

Last week's NFC Divisional Round game between the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Eagles was delayed for several minutes because the first down chains broke off of one of the poles. An attempt to fix the issue with tape was not successful and backup chains were eventually called in.

Adding to the first quarter delay was the fact that the backup chains had to be unraveled. They apparently still haven't figured out, after all these years, how to store the first down chains to prevent them from getting tangled up.

It's not an issue that happens very often, but a lengthy delay, especially during a playoff game isn't ideal. One woman, who just happens to be a professional dominatrix, offered her assistance.

Ana Kalistasia has experience with whips and chains, among other things. She sent an email to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell this week laying out her offer.

The CamSoda/OnlyFans model said in the email, "I often use chains, whips, and gags (oh my) to excite my fans. I'm writing to offer my services to help you better maintain your chains during this Sunday's NFL Conference Championship games."

After sharing her shock that the chains broke during the game, and explaining that she never had any chains break, she offered to join the chain gang for Sunday's NFC Championship game.

"As a football fan - and let's face it, we're both focused on giving Americans entertainment and pleasure - I'd like to offer my services to make sure this never happens again by joining your chain gang," Ana continued. "I can start as soon as the upcoming NFC Championship on Sunday."

Dominatrix and cam model makes a generous offer to assist with the first down chains (Image Credit: Ana Kalistasia/Instagram)

Having A Dominatrix Assist With The Chains Sounds Reasonable

The offer doesn't stop at joining the chain gang either. Ana is willing to inspect the chains ahead of the Eagles and 49ers game. She even offered to develop a maintenance protocol that includes, "greasing up the links."

So what will all of that cost the NFL? Nothing. She's offering her services free of charge. All she asks is that the NFL recognize her as the "league's official cam model" and acknowledges her "heroism."

Is that too much to ask? Of course not. Was Ana taken up on her offer and will the dominatrix be on the sideline as the newest member of the NFL's chain gang? Not a chance.

Roger doesn't have the stones to pull-off such a move. A move that makes much more sense than not letting a game end on a field goal in overtime, if the first team to possess the ball kicks the field goal.