Doctor Smears Cow Dung On His Car Because He’s Convinced It Keeps It Cool

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A man in India believes he has found a way to keep his car nice and cool: smearing cow dung all over it.

Sushil Sagar is a doctor — albeit a homeopathic one — and he says that his foul-smelling alternative to Turltewax is keeping his Suzuki nice and cool in the South Asian heat.

I live in Florida, where internal car temps are a near-constant battle. I’m always looking for a remedy. Right now, I have one of those pop-open sun shields. The kind that comes in a pair that are impossible to away correctly. They will pop open and hit you in the face repeatedly until you wrestle them back into their little pouch.

The only other cost-effective option was the other kind of shade that folds up like an accordion… that is until our guy Sushil Sagar came along and said, “Hold my beer” and smeared a couple of pounds of dook on that ol’ ‘Suzuki of his.

He’s a pro when it comes to smearing dung on a whip. How do I know this? Because he didn’t put any on the door handles. That’s a rookie mistake that you only make once.

Sagar claims that this makeshift insulation will last for two months so long as it doesn’t get rinsed off. This means if you want to try this, you’ll need about 6 coats per year (although that’s what the dealership will tell you; you can probably get away with 4).

If I had to guess how Sagar came up with this idea he was either reading about animals or watching Animal Planet. Some animals coat themselves in mud or feces to protect themselves from the sun. Being a doctor of homeopathic medicine, Sagar lifted this concept from the animal kingdom and adapted it for the automotive.

You see a man with a car smeared with excrement; I see a visionary.

However, let’s call a poo-coated car what it is: a terrible idea, at least in practice.

Sagar insists his methods work. But the practicality — and the unholy odor — makes it a no-go. I mean, can you imagine valeting your car like that? Or hitting a drive-through?

Forget picking your kids up from school unless you want them to be known as the “poo car kids” until they graduate and go to an out-of-state university.

God love the man for trying something new, but I’ll stick with my impossible-to-repackage sun shade.

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle

Written by Matt Reigle

Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.

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