Dirty Deeds: Customer Attempts To Steal 30 Inch Sex Toy

A California shoplifter attempting to steal a 30 inch sex toy wound up getting screwed.

Over the weekend, a person was caught on video getting handsy with a black dildo inside of a California adult store. The would-be shoplifter intended to heist the hard-on from within Cali's Circus of Books, only to be apprehended by an employee.

The failed theft attempt was caught on the store's security cameras and posted online by WEHO Times.

It's not clear from the video if the wannabe- thief was male or female, but they were apparently ready for a good - and seemingly painful - time.

Either that, or enormous black dildos can fetch quite a bit of scratch on the black market.

I don't know. I'm not the person to ask. I have no personal experience with dildos of any size (I'm not judging) or the sex toy black market. That said, if I were interested in swiping a pretend penis, I'd make sure to grab both a black one and a white one. Doing so would prevent Jemele Hill from labeling me as racist. Maybe.

One Pricey Sex Toy

Fortunately for Circus of Books, their employee quickly recognized the caper. They moved from behind the register and followed the thief towards the door. Within seconds they grabbed all 30 inches of intended pleasure and returned the toy to its spot on the store's display table. This saved the adult business 700 bones.

Yep, that's right - this nearly 3' party-for-one retails for $699.95.

Circus of Books, which is based in West Hollywood, did not say whether or not police were called to the scene. Even without the dildo, it appears as though the attempted robber got off.

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Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival. Follow him on X (@OhioAF).