Did Alshon Jeffery Eat the Other Four SI Regional Covers?

Alshon Jeffery is one of the five best players in the SEC. He’s a bona fide top ten pick, and despite what Lane Kiffin said, it doesn’t seem likely that Jeffery will be pumping gas for the rest of his life. But it does look like Jeffery hasn’t missed many trip inside the gas station to grab snacks when refueling.

This is a new idea here at OKTC, but we’re going to have a contest — whoever posts the funniest thing that Alshon Jeffery has been eating in the comments, wins a special prize. I’m not sure what the prize is yet because I just decided on the contest.

Basically, I want y’all to be as entertaining and funny as possible with this.

My first joke is the one up top in the headline, but I’ve got ten more below.

It even looks like the covers are still protruding from the stomach in an odd square fashion.

Some other suggestions for what Jeffrey might have eaten this summer:

1. Stephen Garcia’s bong.

2. Steve Spurrier’s visor.

3. G.A. Mangus’s blood alcohol test after his public urination arrest.

4. Cam Newton’s bag man (h/t Danny Sheridan)

5. Clemson’s SEC offer.

6. Lane Kiffin’s children (He’s a Tyson fan).

7. The last 8 Gamecock mascots.

8. Those awful camo uniforms that South Carolina insists on wearing.

9. Corn dogs from the South Carolina state fair that always gets in the way of football games.

10. Peach Bowl game film.

Now it’s your turn. Beat these that I just dashed off on my way out the door to the radio show.