Dick Vitale Wants To Talk To A Manager At United Airlines – NOW!

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It’s a national tragedy when perpetually happy — unless some punk badmouths Coach K or John Calipari — Dick Vitale is in a bad mood during a flight from Orlando to San Francisco because United Airlines can’t offer a legitimate first-class dining experience. Dick was so fired up over the experience and lack of a legit breakfast that he fired up Twitter to air his grievances.

Dickie V. went as far as using ALL CAPS to emphasize he was offered “the MOST PATHETIC OPTIONS” he’s ever seen. Look, I hate to brag, but I’ve flown first class a few times, and I can’t remember a single meal I’ve had while flying the friendly skies. I remember the booze, not the food. I’m sure there have been some grilled chicken entrees with steamed broccoli, but it wasn’t memorable. I remember the flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles where I helped Ohio State fans drink the plane dry. I remember the flight from D.C. to New Orleans suckin’ down drinks next to Paul Tagliabue and Mike Wilbon on the way to the Super Bowl.

The last place I depend on a solid meal is first class on a flight. Not Dickie V. He absolutely unloaded on the poor United social media team, who now has to answer for why Dick wasn’t served a first-class meal of eggs and oatmeal.

A quick look at the United website shows that the airline appears to be taking advantage of the COVID era to scale back the fine dining Dick’s used to.

“Our inflight dining experience is a little different right now. We’ve modified services to serve more items in one step which helps decrease physical touchpoints between you and our flight attendants. Complimentary beverages, including beer, wine and liquor, will be available on all flights. Visit our Inflight Beverages page to learn more about our drink offerings.

“For flights in United First® under 1 hour, we won’t have snacks available, but you’re welcome to bring your own on board.

“For flights between 1 hour and 2 hours and 20 minutes, you’ll receive an ‘all-in-one’ snack bag with a wrapped sanitizer wipe, 8.5-ounce bottled water and two snacks.

“For flights over 2 hours and 20 minutes, you’ll be offered a choice between a selection of sandwiches and one of our snack boxes.”

Uh, I have news for you, Dick, your complaint hasn’t changed United over the last decade. A quick and easy Twitter search would’ve told Dick to be prepared for a terrible breakfast experience. People have been bitching about the United first-class experience on Twitter going all the way back to 2009.

This one is on Dick. Next time, he’ll grab an airport breakfast burrito.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.


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  1. Let’s face it, quality and service on domestic flights have decreased significantly. When you fly almost anywhere internationally, it’s like heaven compared to the declining US of A.

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