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It’s a national tragedy when perpetually happy — unless some punk badmouths Coach K or John Calipari — Dick Vitale is in a bad mood during a flight from Orlando to San Francisco because United Airlines can’t offer a legitimate first-class dining experience. Dick was so fired up over the experience and lack of a legit breakfast that he fired up Twitter to air his grievances.
Dickie V. went as far as using ALL CAPS to emphasize he was offered “the MOST PATHETIC OPTIONS” he’s ever seen. Look, I hate to brag, but I’ve flown first class a few times, and I can’t remember a single meal I’ve had while flying the friendly skies. I remember the booze, not the food. I’m sure there have been some grilled chicken entrees with steamed broccoli, but it wasn’t memorable. I remember the flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles where I helped Ohio State fans drink the plane dry. I remember the flight from D.C. to New Orleans suckin’ down drinks next to Paul Tagliabue and Mike Wilbon on the way to the Super Bowl.
The last place I depend on a solid meal is first class on a flight. Not Dickie V. He absolutely unloaded on the poor United social media team, who now has to answer for why Dick wasn’t served a first-class meal of eggs and oatmeal.
I can’t believe that today on our flight flying 1st class from Orlando to San Francisco that @united has the nerve to serve for breakfast the MOST PATHETIC OPTIONS I have ever seen .This is the 1st time in my life that I have ever complained but this is a joke .Over 5 hr flight.
— Dick Vitale (@DickieV) May 27, 2021
Landing now & my stomach is churning to get to the 1st concession stand that has some quality options vs the AWFUL options that @united offered . Wow I can’t believe all the response over a simple complaint ! End of story as now is time to talk about what I LOVE SPORTS !
— Dick Vitale (@DickieV) May 27, 2021
A quick look at the United website shows that the airline appears to be taking advantage of the COVID era to scale back the fine dining Dick’s used to.
“Our inflight dining experience is a little different right now. We’ve modified services to serve more items in one step which helps decrease physical touchpoints between you and our flight attendants. Complimentary beverages, including beer, wine and liquor, will be available on all flights. Visit our Inflight Beverages page to learn more about our drink offerings.
“For flights in United First® under 1 hour, we won’t have snacks available, but you’re welcome to bring your own on board.
“For flights between 1 hour and 2 hours and 20 minutes, you’ll receive an ‘all-in-one’ snack bag with a wrapped sanitizer wipe, 8.5-ounce bottled water and two snacks.
“For flights over 2 hours and 20 minutes, you’ll be offered a choice between a selection of sandwiches and one of our snack boxes.”
I hope my complaint about @united HELPS others in the future who spend big $$$ to travel 1st class on a flight over 5 hrs & r offered a SAD couple of options / Whatever happened to eggs/ cereal /fruit etc .Hey this should be my biggest prob but come on United u must be better . https://t.co/SMGvjg24dp
— Dick Vitale (@DickieV) May 27, 2021
Uh, I have news for you, Dick, your complaint hasn’t changed United over the last decade. A quick and easy Twitter search would’ve told Dick to be prepared for a terrible breakfast experience. People have been bitching about the United first-class experience on Twitter going all the way back to 2009.
This one is on Dick. Next time, he’ll grab an airport breakfast burrito.
Slightly embarrassed that I’m flying @united 1st class and the lunch offering is “rice crispies” or a sandwich? but by the time I was offered breakfast, I only had the rice crispy option. Not sure why I’m paying $700 for this flight..
Only 12 first class passengers. Embarrassing pic.twitter.com/86nygXDSaa
— dennis hegstad 💬 (@dennishegstad) April 6, 2019
1st class breakfast on @united. #Disappointing. I miss the hot cinnimmon buns. pic.twitter.com/fhbPlZfdy0
— Jason Yoder (@JasonYoder_MCT) December 17, 2017
Wow. @united I finally buy a 1st class seat, and the experience is anything but 1st class.
No pre-flight drinks
Filthy tray and seat
No internet
Ran out of breakfast
Disinterested, unfriendly crew
No hot towel
No refills on my drinksVery disappointed and feel ripped off!
— Benjamin Dean (@bdeanindy) June 24, 2018
United Airlines 1st-class breakfast: ice-cold, unsalted oatmeal with no salt, sugar, butter or cream (but mango chunks…) #unitedAIRLINES pic.twitter.com/XlP8BYewal
— Richard Levenson (@rml52) September 16, 2017
Not at all impressed w/my breakfast on @united 1st class from DFW this morning! #epicfail pic.twitter.com/xwOhuwcA7j
— Shelly Svee (@ShellySvee) April 24, 2016
FYI @united … A scone is not a 1st class breakfast. This is reason #11 why I am dumping you for @Delta. pic.twitter.com/ZoFKQdgaUi
— Bob Harris (@AttritionBuster) October 25, 2014
United catering dept ran out of breakfast for 1st class. they're serving raviolli instead. good thing i stopped @starbucks
— Yunsun (@weeibee) August 18, 2009
I need to go get a kleenex to wipe the tears from my eyes…
Well fly private next time you entitled big mouth nobody gfy
Who says Dickie V is obnoxious in every possible way? Everybody! I believe if you Wikepedia DICK, it has an eighteen screen picture of Lil Dickie V.
Ya’ll flying first class expecting five-star food? It’s a damn airplane, all they have is a microwave.
Seat 1A needs a big tall glass of shut the fuck up.
OMG hilarious LOL
Good lord, fly business, bring all the shit you want from the million eateries before boarding and get a life. Sharing air with these assholes should not have to be a human right.
Any Landing that you walk away from is a good one…So Disappointing. What a JAG.
Quite entertaining whining from overpaid, big mouth—- keep em coming
Let’s face it, quality and service on domestic flights have decreased significantly. When you fly almost anywhere internationally, it’s like heaven compared to the declining US of A.