Derek Dooley did not win very many football games in Knoxville.
But he did have one hell of a nice house that can you be yours for just $2.9 million.
The 8,818 square foot house on 17 acres features five bedrooms and eight bathrooms — meaning Dooley’s mansion had four more bathrooms than he did SEC wins in his Tennessee tenure. Dooley, who I’m already missing at Tennessee, is also a fan of boobs, as evidenced by the tasteful nude drawing hanging on the wall of the master bathroom.
I like to think that Dooley, much like George W. Bush, is also an artist.
In the event you are in the market for a $3 million dollar Knoxville mansion you can check out all the photos here.
The house features an outdoor basketball court, a pool, a movie theater, a wine cellar, and a tastefully appointed study where Dooley watched game film and cried whenever the defense came on the field.
The house is outstanding, the residence befitting a head football coach who will pocket $11 million for three years of work.
Question, how many football games would you be okay losing in the SEC if you were paid $11 million regardless of the outcome and could live in this house in the meantime? Dooley went 4-19 in conference. I would be happy to go 0-23.
Dooley is trying to make a solid profit on the house, asking nearly $700,000 more than he paid for the property just two years ago.
There are lots of great details in the house, including a frequent choice of orange when possible. This bedroom with the Tennessee football stadium on the wall is pretty awesome when you’re the head coach, probably less so when the school has fired you.
Before he accepted the Cowboys job, I was close to persuading Dooley to write an article for Outkick, which would have been outstanding and probably very funny. Plus, we’ve never had a coach write for the site. Now that he’s employed as a coach again, I’m not sure if he’ll write for the site.
Which is a true shame.
Nevertheless, I’ve reached out to Dooley to see if he is the family artist responsible for the tasteful nude hanging on the bathroom wall. I’ll update when he responds. In the meantime, I’m praying there’s a photo of Dooley painting somewhere.
And I hope it looks something like this.
In the meantime, let’s all pray that Dooley decides to write a piece for Outkick.
Update: Dooley responds to Outkick, “Breasts not included in sales price.”
I’m telling you, the guy will kill if we can get him to write.