Dani Torres Is In 4th Of July Game Shape, Dawgs Fan Dumps ‘Em Out & Steve Ballmer Feeling For Car Keys

It’s a historic day for college athletics & I plan on taking advantage of it

It’s Day One of Name, Image, Likeness rules going into effect in states across the country who didn’t want to leave their college football programs at a disadvantage as companies start throwing cash at college athletes to rep their brands. And this guy is already on the prowl looking for that perfect athlete — or athletes — to become the face of the Thursday Night Mowing League. I have my sights set on a certain Georgia Southern defensive player because I consider him a dual-threat type of guy.

That’s right, I want a college athlete to be our NASCAR type of guy this season out on the football field. I want this guy thanking the TNML for its sponsorship after games. I want this guy saying “none of this would be possible without the fine folks at TNML.” I want this guy spreading the gospel that Thursday night is the best night to mow. Trust me, I already checked and he has just one Thursday night game, so he’ll be completely free to mow on league night at his off-campus house.

So while the big boy brands are busy funneling huge money to the top-of-the-food-chain guys, I’ll be in the trenches looking for guys who represent the TNML mission. I don’t want some guy just out there going through the motions. We’re going to support those college athletes who live and breathe the TNML lifestyle.

Stay tuned on that front. I think you’ll like the guy I have on the radar.

Now I need your help. Is there a guy on your college football team who needs a spot on Team TNML? Let’s build our own team. You know what I’m looking for here. Send in the suggestions and I’ll see if these guys are interested in repping the league: joekinsey@gmail.com•

• By the way, the TNML All-Star Break is OVER and it’s back on tonight. I haven’t mowed in like NINE days because of golf and thunderstorms that have been pounding this region for days on end, so tonight should be interesting. The plan is to raise the deck at least one level, and I might have to go up yet another half-level due to turf depth. I’m talking U.S. Open rough around here.

• Caleb E. sent the following email last week while I was golfing, but I’m bringing it back because he raises a great question:

Just wanted to say—love the morning screencaps, and love the Thursday night mowing league. I read way too much depressing news on the Internet, and your posts (and OutKick, generally) help keep me sane. Keep up the great work!

-Caleb from Pennsylvania

PS Does the Thursday Night Mowing League have an official beer?

• You guys tell me which beer represents TNML. I’m all ears. Let’s dream big here. There is significant power behind this brand so it’s time to go out there and puff out our chests a little bit.

• How about that missed call in the College World Series where Vandy’s pitcher throws one right down the middle on 3-2 with a runner on the move from first base. Would it have mattered in the grand scheme of Game 3? It would’ve been a strike ’em out, throw ’em out play. Instead, the ump said it was ball four. The very next batter jacked a three-run bomb. Those of you who watched the CWS know the umps working the plate pretty much gave the NCAA reason to go to computers calling balls and strikes. They have been awful over the last 13 days or so.

• Did you see the news that Elon Musk has dumped his California real estate and is now living in a $50,000 tiny home out there in the middle of nowhere Texas? Love him or hate him, Musk is great for content, and as a content guy, I can’t get enough of what this guy’s up to. Let him smoke his weed. Let him shoot rockets into space. Let him manipulate crypto. It’s bizzaro world out there, and I’m all for what Musk cooks up.

• What if Bill Cosby and OJ Simpson show up on the same Twitter video? I’m talking Bill and the Juice pop up together after a round of golf and Bill suddenly has his eyesight back. That would be some pure 2021 right there.

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Stuff You Guys Sent In & Stuff I Like:

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

3 Comments

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  1. For the beer I’d go Yuengling. Oldest American brewery. The traditional lager is the top of my cheap beer list. Perfect for the post mowing celebration.

    For balls and strikes I’m team computer. In the 1800’s We chose people to call balls and strikes because they were the best we had at the time. Now we have something better. The strike zone has been so mismanaged by people that a standardization is in order. And the computers will get it right far more than the people. If the computers can tell me the spin rate of a pitch it can definitely tell me whether it’s a ball or strike.

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