Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Kleine Powell Is Ready For Christmas, Trevor Lawrence's Ugly Sweater & A Beautiful Christmas Lawn
I'm going to stick to my guns and refrain from going to the Peach Bowl
My old friend Jason, who was also my travel partner to Ohio State's 2015 national championship game, reached out this week with a proposal: Peach Bowl.
He found a ticket source and the price was very reasonable for tickets in the 100 level. Ohio State side. Jason would drive up from Statesboro, I would fly in, we'd hit the bars, go nuts for two nights and catch the game.
Guys, I can't do it.
I have to stay true to what I believe about this Ohio State team and my head keeps saying this isn't even close to an Urban Meyer team and this version of the Buckeyes will get trucked by Georgia to the tune of at least 17 points. It feels like we're going to see a 2007 BCS Championship Game scenario where Florida destroyed Ohio State in a game that was over at halftime.
The line is seven and Vegas thinks it'll be much closer, but I've seen enough and have been bloodied enough over the last 12 months to risk potential Bengals playoff money on the Buckeyes and a quarterback that refuses to lay it on the line for his college football employer.
Does New Year's Eve in Atlanta going to a college football game sound like a good time? No doubt. Does sitting through another Buckeyes blowout loss sound fun? Not at all. Airfare is ridiculous right now. Hotels will be steep. The bar tabs will be huge.
C.J. Stroud would refuse to haul ass for a first down scramble on 3rd and 4 and I'd immediately regret dropping a thousand on the Peach Bowl experience. And Treveyon Henderson is officially out.
And with that, I'm out dawg. It's gotta be a no.
Damn, that hurts to admit.
Army-Navy
• Rob in NJ writes:
Hope you’re doing well. Wanted to pass along a few photos from this weekend’s Army-Navy matchup in Philly.
Truly the most special environments in all of sports, and one that I recommend everybody get to at least once. It was certainly an honor.
Another happy Battery Daddy owner
As always, #notsponsored. In fact, I have no idea what company is even behind Battery Daddy. The PR team has never approached me and there's a good chance you don't need a PR team when the Battery Daddy sells itself.
• Jason D. writes:
Hey Joe,
My wife is not the best gift giver so I just went ahead and bought myself the battery daddy. After seeing reports start to trickle in I wanted to give everyone a glimpse of the father/son bonding you may get to experience. I lost count of how many times they dumped all the batteries out and put them back in. Just get the kids a battery daddy too!
Brandon B. in Birmingham might be the new owner of the Busch Dale Earnhardt cardboard cutout
Tuesday, Brandon B. reached out looking for intel on where he could locate that Dale cutout mentioned by Jess in Alabama. Brandon's a big Busch guy and that cutout would fit in perfectly next to his Golden Tee garage setup.
This is Screencaps once again showing just how powerful it can be. Jess and Brandon met at the Birmingham Screencaps meetup and now they're helping each other during the Christmas season.
This is what it's all about.
Farting on an airplane
Now that's an email subject line that got my attention.
• First-time emailer Jonathan from Texas comes out firing:
Good Morning Joe,
I’m a first-time emailer and just wanted to thank you for the Morning Screencaps, I read it every day.
I’m writing you about an event that happened this past weekend. My wife and I took a quick trip out to Las Vegas for the National Finals Rodeo. While on our three-hour flight from San Antonio to Vegas, some asshole (no pun intended) had the nerve to fart three or four times on the flight. Never heard it, but holy hell could you smell it!
What kind of vile human does that knowing we are all stuck in an aluminum can sitting inches away from each other?! (There were no kids or elderly in sight for those who are going to make that argument). I looked all around hoping it could be a kid because I hate to think a grown adult wouldn’t have the decency to get their lazy ass up and walk to the bathroom. People directly around us, my wife and I included were like middle schoolers and put our shirts over our noses to try and filter the smell.
My question to you and other readers is, where does this rank in the “most horrible people on Earth” category? I currently have it fourth as I don’t think anything is worse than the top three, but would like to know if I’m overreacting.
1. Pedophiles
2. Murders
3. Rapists
4. People who fart on airplanes
5. Thieves
Thank again and keep up the great work!
Kinsey:
Whew, what an email! That's a powerful list of the worst of the worst in society. Typically, I like to make my list a little less deep, so I'll include things like Michigan fans, Browns fans, Jim Harbaugh, people requesting tips for handing me a drink, and people who let their dogs take dumps in yards and walk away as the worst of the worst.
But, Jonathan wanted to come out swinging and that's not bad in any way.
I wouldn't say he's overreacting here, but I'd have to flip 4 & 5 because thieving scumbags, especially the toothless scumbags who rip off catalytic converters, deserve a special place in hell when they won't put in an honest day of work for their fentanyl.
That said, send in your worst of the worst lists.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Brush with stardom
• Andy in Carmel, IN writes
I have a story similar to Brandon's "Brush with Stardom" story. It's similar to his in that it's based in Chicago and also a 2-parter. I'll attempt to be brief.
I played football at Deerfield High School, just a couple miles south of the Bear's HQ/camp facility (Lake Forest) in the 80's. During the NFL lockout, the Bears informally practiced at our high school for a few days. We had 3 full fields; for Freshmen, Sophomores and JV/V. I saw my idol Walter Payton put his shoes on and introduced myself just off one of the fields. As we talked, I watched him spat up his 'Roos. Coming off an ankle tweak, I asked him exactly how he did it and he explained, showing the step-by-step location of tape, etc. I was mesmerized. He showed genuine interest in me, and teaching me the method. He asked about football and my role on the team. I spatted up every game afterward; no trainers needed.
Fast forward to Indianapolis, where I then lived, in 1991. UNLV was readying for a matchup with Duke in the NCAA semi-final. I was at a TGI Friday's with my roommate when I spotted him again. I re-introduced myself and I explained how I met him at the high school. "You're the kid I taught how to spat!" he exclaimed over a drink. I was floored that he remembered. Turns out, he was traveling with UNLV as a motivational speaker, and the team was staying in a nearby hotel. We talked about playing drums, and things outside of sports mostly for at least 30 minutes. What a special person, football notwithstanding.
RIP to a legend. Great story, Brandon.
UNDATED: Chicago Bears' Walter Payton #34 twirls a football on his finger during a game. (Photo by Focus on Sport via Getty Images)
Kinsey:
Another awesome story and it sure helps when it's about Walter Payton. It's still hard to believe we lost Payton at just 46 years old. It makes you stop and think of just how lucky Chicago was during that period to have a mix of characters (Harry, Fridge, McMahon, Dawson, etc.) and just enough success to make it all feel so perfect.
Running backs on Christmas movie rankings:
It's always fun when the athletes check in with their ranking system during this important time of year.
Elf on the Shelf NFL edition
• Danny K. is having some fun this holiday season:
Just a little Christmas cheer.
Falcons can’t even make it thru some magical elves!! Stop on the one by snoop doggy elf!!!
That's a good place to stop this morning. Coming tomorrow, Mike T. on the perfect prime rib recipe, and Donald J. has thoughts on piercings, RG3 and OutKick gambling expert Geoff.
Good luck at the work Christmas parties being held tonight. Remember, don't be the guy hauled into HR tomorrow morning. Your two week vacation is so close. Get to the finish line without a lecture on how to handle yourself and vodka at the company party.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com