World Conker Championship In Question Due To Soggy Chestnuts

There is reportedly trouble afoot in the world of conker, and from the sound of it, soggy nuts are to blame.

So... what the hell is conker?

According to the dictionary, it means "one who conks," which isn't helpful at all.

Fortunately, the Wall Street Journal did a piece about it, and it's a game involving two chestnuts attached to strings. One player takes their chestnut and whacks the other players in hopes of breaking it.

The last nut standing wins.

Seems like a good time... or at least a great way to chip a tooth or lose an eye.

Conker is popular in the in UK where kids play it in the schoolyard and this year, the Village of Southwick is being held on October 8. But there's an issue: some say that this year's crop of chestnut is simply too soft and won't break.

There was even a headline in the UK paper The Daily Star that read "Our Nuts Are In Crisis" which sounds like something you'd hear dudes say at one of those New Year's Day Polar Bear plunges.

Soft Nuts Are A Problem In The World Of Conkers

James Atkins, a man who runs a Conker tournament in Reading, said that he has noticed a change in the hardness of this year's crop of conkers.

“They do seem to be getting softer,” he said, per WSJ.

Soft nuts are obviously an issue. If the idea is to break a nut, then softer, more robust nuts won't fit the bill.

Atkins is hoping that some more mature chestnuts will be rounded up ahead of the big event. Those tend to be harder.

Some have argued that perhaps they should bake the chestnuts which would harden them. However, any form of artificial hardening is outlawed for the world championships.

Some around the UK have reported some conkers that are more up to snuff with what is needed for top-flight competition.

Hopefully then can get some of those solid conckers to Southwick in time for the championship. Then folks can conker without having to deal with those squishy nuts that everyone hates.

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Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.