Thursday Night Mowing League: The Finals

I think it was June or July when I was at a doctor's appointment with a guy who knows what I do for a living. He'll always ask what's the latest from the world of content and if I've been up to anything crazy.

He's fascinated by things like how I broke open the Lia Thomas drama back in 2021 and the other wild content I'll find myself involved with.

At this appointment, I explained that I was in the middle of my busy season because I serve as the commissioner of an online virtual mowing league.

The look on his face isn't uncommon when I tell people about this life that chose me.

"Wait, you do what?" he said.

Yeah, it sounds crazy, but I have thousands of incredible people all over the country and around the world who participate, send in photos, buy shirts, put stickers on their mowers, send emails, make videos, and are passionate about this league.

"Why?" they always ask.

And then I have to preach the gospel. It's time to go to work. I have to make the non-believer understand why we do it, why we put in the reps, and why we sacrifice when we would rather be on the patio grilling, drinking, and jerking around.

At this point, I can hook a person in about five to eight minutes.

Once they get over the absurdity of what they're hearing to find the genius, they're butter in my mowing hands.

Inevitably, the person on the other end of the gospel will get the widest smile they've experienced in years.

I'm convinced this league can change lives for the better. Look at the relationships developing between league competitors. They're interacting in a positive way. They're helping each other. I don't have to lead the conversation. You guys are comfortable to the point where you talk with each other like how I envision Dale Sr. talking to D-Dubya in the garage after a practice run.

You're competitors, but at the end of the day, it's a fraternity of like-minded people who care about their property and community. It's a beautiful thing to watch.

As we close down the 2023 mowing season, it's time for each and every one of you to reflect on what was accomplished this season:

I'm going to decompress over the weekend. Look at all the content. Analyze. Hold meetings with the league founders and determine who will take home the most prestigious title in residential mowing history.

From the bottom of my mowing heart, thank you for a year I'll never forget.

The Commissioner.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Buy! Buy! Buy!

I think everything is gone. The store is officially empty. I guess you guys liquidated the rest of the Layin' Stripes shirts. Good job.

Mowing Reports From Across The Country:

• Mike T. in Eagle, Idaho writes:

Greetings from beautiful Eagle, Idaho!

Beautiful fall weather here in the high Mountain West! Grass and yard have had a wonderful growing season! Soon the weather will change and we’ll have months of cold and snow!

Thanks for allowing The Donald and I to participate in the league, hopefully seeing everyone next season!

• Sean C. in Granger, IN, who owns the Indiana TNML license plate, writes:

Well, here we are. Where did the summer go? It was a bittersweet night of mowing. It almost didn’t happen as we’ve had rain every day this week. And I even had to start in a slight drizzle. But I made it through. Honestly, what choice did I have? I still have a month left of mowing, but this was the last one that counts. I know. I know, you don’t want to hear about it. But I’m guessing you’re in the same boat as me.

As part of my week leading up to the final day, I spent my Saturday out at Notre Dame to tailgate before the big game. I tried to get close to camera shots for GameDay, but it was a madhouse. Too bad I don’t have the TNML flag. That would have come in handy. But, I was able to get some pics during the day with different members of the crowd. I snuck into a group pic of a tailgate that was awarded “Tailgate of the Week” by the Notre Dame Alumni Association. I even made their Twitter and Instagram posts (though I have neither of those apps). I have no idea who any of those people are.

I also got some pics with some friends and statues throughout the day. Me and the TNML shirt got around Saturday, that’s for sure.

Here’s to another successful season. I hope to have a new rider by opening day 2024!

• Indy Daryl writes:

Between the lack of rain and not mowing last week because of a Ragnar Relay the yard was in piss poor shape. I think there are now more brown spots than green, but the green that I do have seemed like was about 10” tall. All said it really needed a trim and despite general lack of motivation as the season wraps up, getting out there this afternoon was a must. Lines weren’t perfect but definitely good enough for the start of fall!