Nightmare: The World's Largest Snake Has Been Found

We did it, everyone.

We have found the serpent from the Adam and Eve story. Turns out, Satan has just been chilling in the Amazon rain forest the entire time!

A National Geographic exploration group recently revealed photos and videos of what many believe is the world's largest snake ever documented, and it's a straight-up NIGHTMARE.

The world's largest snake was recently found in the Amazon rainforest. 

(National Geographic )

SNAKE HAS RIDICULOUS SIZE

The Northern Green Anaconda came in at 26 feet, 440lbs, and was as thick as a tire, with a head even larger than that of a human! Ya know, just a casual day at work. 

Forget Jaws. Nobody should be going into the water with this monstrosity of a beast just swimming around ready to devour anything and everything in its path.

Fortunately, none of the 14 scientists partaking in the wildlife endeavor were swallowed whole by Satan when they were documenting him. Instead, they were just casually swimming next to the behemoth as if it was just a regular day.

Just look at this psychopath scientist casually SNORKELING next to Satan. 

National Geographic recently found the world's largest snake at over 26 feet, 440lbs.

FILMED FOR A DISNEY SERIES!

If that wasn't enough, scientists determined that this is a new type of anaconda they never knew about. Apparently there was some sort of genetic mutation back in the day - kind of like Covid I guess. 

Fantastic.

The shocking discovery was found by TV wildlife host Professor Freek Vonk during filming for an upcoming National Geographic Disney+ series called ‘Pole to Pole.’ Great idea, Disney. As if your company wasn't already falling apart. A brilliant strategy to traumatize young kids - the only demographic that you still have going for ya! Parents across the country will thank you once the episode airs, and they're stuck with many sleepless nights as their kids have anaconda nightmares.

I'm immediately reminded of my good friend Ice Cube and his reaction in the thriller Anaconda, where he says, and I quote, "There's snakes out there this big?!"

Apparently there is, Cube. Today was indeed not a good day.