In one of the more shocking developments in pumpkin spice latte history, polling experts at Rasmussen have discovered shocking news about white people.
Fall isn't nearly as popular as you're led to believe. In fact, it appears those white women on Facebook who claim they can't wait to get into a warm fuzzy blanket to read a good novel might not actually be telling the truth on social media.
According to its latest poll results released Thursday, Rasmussen's survey found that fall is the least favorite season for white people in America. Just 19% of those white people surveyed say fall is their favorite season while winter is their favorite.
Rasmussen says it used basic wording for its survey conducted on September 18 & 19:
Now, as a white person with a Facebook account, I was led to believe by the advertisers in this country that cinnamon crunch lattes and picking apples for the fun of it is all the rage. It turns out it was all a huge lie. I've been told by white women I've known my entire life that they love nothing more than picking their pumpkins, buying a straw bale, getting their ghosts on a stick and building Pinterest projects on their front porches and then taking photos for Instagram.
According to the data, it's a front!
Rasmussen reports its "online survey finds that 49% of American Adults say the arrival of fall puts them in a better mood." And in truly shocking news, Americans as a whole favor winter as their favorite season.
These weirdos responding probably don't realize most of the Christmas season is held in fall and they're only getting like four days of actual winter before they've opened all their presents and they go straight back to the phone and pure misery.
Conclusion: We're going to need this data broken down further by region of the United States. It feels like a bunch of old-timers who live in Florida answered their phones and winter is obviously their favorite season as the Sunshine State transitions away from being an oven for a few months.
But I'm still perplexed by the fall hatred.
The marketing agencies must have different data.