Officer Shelton Hits Up A Boathouse, Bama Superfans Wait To See Nick & Big Boy Blasted During Backyard Kickball

The Kinsey Summer of '21 Miniature Golf Tour rolled on last night...after the driving range

Those of you who've been following along this summer already know that I had a major 36-hole showdown with my 8-year-old son at a miniature golf course where I ended up 2-1 in the hole-in-one department. I promised him we'd make more tour stops and last night it was time to tackle the 18-hole track at Perry Falls, a course that features multiple water holes, and when I say water holes, I'm talking hazards that are really in play. I'm talking very little to no chance to control the ball before it goes into the water.

Long story short, I went 0-for-18 (kids were o-fer, too) in the ace category, but I did get hot late with multiple pars. As I've told you guys, the only thing that matters on the scorecard this summer are aces, so pars didn't matter, even though it was a very hard course and most golfers like to focus on the positives. Not when you're playing the Kinsey Mini Tour. Aces matter!

One big highlight of the night was how my son is hitting the ball off the tee at the driving range. We're seeing progress! Last year, Jack was hitting drives about 50 yards and didn't have much control over the club at all. Now we're seeing balls rolling to the 125 yardage stake and loft. The iron play is still rough, but he's fired up about getting better.

So now I've come to the conclusion that the best sports gift I can present to my son is golfing lessons. I'm not talking lessons so he can play high school golf. I'm talking golf lessons so he can hold his own 25 years from now when guys start throwing together outing teams.

• Chris B., one of the most loyal Screencaps readers sent an email Wednesday on this very subject:

I'll offer up one piece of advice relative to your boys' sports... if you want them to like it, do it with them. You don't have to be an expert to coach youth sports. Get out there and have fun coaching / learning / playing the games with them.

• Well Chris, this week I've thrown BP, gone to the driving range, and made a mini-tour stop with the family. I hope that's the right track in the 'Do it with them' department. That said, tonight I'm taking a night off to mow the grass. I'm due some me time (7:30 tee time Saturday morning).

• And one more thing for Chris...last night I went ahead and reserved a Pure Michigan® family camping trip for next summer and made sure there were batting cages, a pool, hot tub, an 18-hole golf course, zip lines, mini golf & paintball. That should keep my family happy over a long weekend. Nope, not looking forward to being drilled by paintballs like when I was 16 and didn't mind.

• You guys want a positive story this morning? I found one for you. Let's head to Indiana where 99-year-old Paul Stump gets out on a New Holland tractor to mow the grounds at his church. Paul mows on Wednesdays, but he's clearly retired so we won't crush him too much over his choice of mowing days. It's not just the mowing on Mr. Stump's menu. He also gets off the tractor to take walks around the church property to pick up sticks and whatever else needs to be done to keep the grounds nice.

• Paul B. in Florida writes:

Esteemed Comish,

As I was mowing my lawn on Saturday morning, as I normally do, I was lamenting the fact that I can't be part of the TMNL. You see, I have a sick wife that isn't able to do much, and three children. That precludes me from being able to mow on Thursday because once I get off of work I go get the kids, go to the store/cook dinner, get them bathed, you know the routine. That's Monday through Friday.

Saturday morning I get up and follow my routine. At 7:30 I start doing the quiet work, pick up the mangoes, pull the pumpkin vine, etc. Once 8:00 hits I'm mowing. I have a small yard so it doesn't take long. Once I mow it's on to spraying some weed killer, edging, etc. I follow all protocols for TNML (keep the clippings out of the roadway) but I just can't do Thursdays. Once I get done mowing I get cleaned up, cook the kids breakfast, take them to the playground, or whatever is planned for the day.

So I ask, can there be a provision to provide me with an honorary membership? Regardless, I am a member in spirit.

Commish response: Paul, with a life story like that, you absolutely can have an honorary membership. At the end of the day, we have to adjust to what life presents us with, right? Thank you for keeping the clippings on the playing surface and having that TNML spirit running through your veins. I'll even throw you an exemption for firing up the mower at 8 a.m.!

• One thing that was on my mind Wednesday was the volume of emails that are sent in & making sure to respond to everyone. I'm trying to respond to emails via Screencaps and the TNML post. I don't want any of you to think I didn't see your email. I read everything and try to work in emails where they make sense. So if you send in a question about the TNML or a report, you'll see the responses in this space.

• Wednesday I heard from a guy who grew up just down the road from me at a rival high school. He picked up on a road I mentioned the other day -- Chicken Bristle Rd. -- and it triggered an email from Jason D. in Dayton. That's how I know you guys read every word in these posts. It's been really nice this summer to reminisce with fellow Daytonians over things like pizza, beer and random road names.

• Now, keep hammering away with the emails on whatever is on your mind:

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Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.