Mother's Day With Paige Spiranac's Mom, Annie Agar's Mom Stops By & A New 'Dunne 69' Jersey

I'm mentally preparing myself to allow the kids to take over mowing duties in the name of growth and learning

Sunday was a big day around here as I allowed Screencaps Junior to mow the front yard with very little analysis and I was hands-off as long as he wasn't doing something dangerous. 

As the commissioner of the Thursday Night Mowing League, I know people are driving by an analyzing the property on a daily basis. I know people are keeping track of what I'm up to and there are times when Tom H. will stop to drop off maple syrup which brings pressure to make sure things are up to TNML standards. 

But I have a duty to train the next generation in how to take care of a property so my boys know if the grass is seven inches tall, we're going to raise a mower deck and take it down to 5 inches instead of 3 inches like some people around here who try to bush hog their way through a yard that is overgrown. 

Screencaps Junior did fine. The self-propelled mower is still like walking a dog who likes to pull, but he'll get used to that as he builds strength. His biggest problem is understanding the aesthetics of modern directional mowing and how to prevent leaving ruts in areas where he's spinning wheels. 

By the end of his mow, he was sweating, his muscles went through a workout and he felt what it's like to work, which is good for his brain. 

As for my brain, I'll be fine. There are areas that were butchered and lines all over the place, but the yard is mowed, the sun came up and life will be just fine. We're well on our way to having new manpower around here and that's a good thing. 

Next up for Screencaps Junior: mulching.  

Weekend fun in France

- Rip writes: 

This past weekend, my neighbor invited us to go to a crazy sporting event with him. It is called Horse-Ball. It is a pretty big deal over here. He has two sons that are quite good at it. I was like, wtf is Horse Ball? He told me it is like rugby and other spors on horses and that the players can rough each other up jostling for the ball and position. We already knew that one of his sons was a champion in some sort of horse riding thing and this was a national tournament, so maybe it might be fun.

You always talk about doing new things. I thought, what the hell, let’s do this. We had a chance to sit outside on a nice day, having a picnic and wine, while watching something that sounded absolutely crazy to me.

The tournament was about 45 minutes away at the French National Equestrian Park. The place was enormous. Over 300 hectares. There were thousands and thousands of people and horse trailers everywhere. Naturally, you wanted to watch your step when you got near the competitors.

I had no idea what to expect. In my experience, people who participated in equestrian had much different skill sets athletically than those of us who participated in ball sports. Combining the two was going to be interesting.

The field was about 60 or 70 meters long and maybe 25 meters wide. There are giant net hoops on either end of the court.

When the match started, there were four horses and riders on each team. The first thing I noticed is that a play begins with the ball on the ground. To get things going, or whenever someone drops the ball, a player must hang from their horse just to get the ball. They can’t get off their horse.

This is my neighbor’s son grabbing the ball while the horse was in motion. 

The action is in spurts. When it gets going fast, the horses are amazingly quick and there isn’t much room for movement. So, collisions are always possible. We saw someone get tossed from their horse hard enough that they had to take them away on a gurney.

All in all, it was a pretty impressive display of horse riding. My neighbor’s sons each ended up in their championship match for their respective divisions. They both play other sports, so you could tell that really gave them an advantage. They would make incredibly fast cuts on the horse and could shoot the ball from many different angles. How they could do that, many times with no hands, was beyond. In the end, one won their championship and the other came in second place.

Even though I have spent my life watching the big four sports in the US, I am very glad we went.

A sunset from 2019

- Michael C. in Utah sent in this one over the weekend: 

Sunset at the Browns-Broncos game in Denver from 2019.
 

Cold cuts MEAT

- Lee D. in Tampa, who knows his meats, sent in this one: 

Kinsey: 

The first thing I noticed was the machete. It reminded me of the machete we had hanging in our pantry door when I was a kid that was used to cut pizzas fresh out of the oven. 

I know we had that machete when I was 11 or 12. Imagine the reaction on Facebook these days if it was revealed that someone in the neighborhood cut their pizzas with a machete. You'd be arrested these days. 

Any guesses on what you'll get for $5?

McDonald's is proposing a McDouble or a McChicken, fries and drink for $5 ‘deal’. 

Hildeeeeeeee and the belly button

For those of you who are new around here, there's an Instagram model –– HILDEEEEEE –– who was called out by an emailer approximately two years ago for having a weird belly button. It became a debate topic amongst mailers and then HILDEEEEE started covering her belly button, which then prompted conspiracy theories and a belief that she was a Screencaps reader. 

- Don Z. in Scottsdale writes: 

Hildee hiding her belly button, in what seems like every pose, makes me sad. 

What have we done to this poor girl?!

Scheels in Springfield, IL

- Bruce H. writes: 

The closest Scheels to you is in Springfield, IL. I can testify that it is indeed the best sporting goods store. This one has animatronic Presidents scattered about, with motion switches that will turn on the bloviation! Abe is front and center at the top of the escalators on the 2nd floor. If you are heading this way, worth the visit.

And don't mind the travel-ball competition complex under construction behind the joint- just another way to draw folks in to the best sports store experience. 

PS Lots of Abraham Lincoln stuff in his hometown worth the visit as well. Also home to the corn dog (allegedly) and the horseshoe (definitely- and it's a food dish, not a nailable steel equine accessory!).

Kinsey: 

Little known fact around here: I share a birthday with Abraham Lincoln. 

If you guys keep building up Scheels, I'm going to be left with no choice but to throw the kids in the car to make the trip. Are there any fun hotels in Springfield for an over-nighter?

The power of Yacht Rock

Like I've said for years. It's not about the music. It's about blood pressure. 

##################

That's it for this first Monday in mid-May. I'll go ahead and say it: This month is flying by and I haven't golfed outside once this year. That has to change - soon. 

Let's get after it today. 

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com 

Numbers from :

Stuff You Guys Sent In & Stuff I Like :

Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.