Lisa Ann Gets Arrested & It's Not A Movie Bit, Patrick Mahomes Sr. Gets Arrested & Dak In Aspen
How we should determine the real NFL MVP each season
The requirements:
1. Are you a QB?
2. Do you have jerkoff family members living off your name, your arm and your brain?
3. Did your family members get arrested or deal with felony court cases that resulted in your name being dragged through the media?
4. Did MULTIPLE family members end up in the court system during the NFL season?
5. Is your wife a loudmouth screaming "YAAASSSSS QUEEEEENNNNN" & arguing with people on social media when she's a half-billionaire?
I don't care that Patrick Mahomes had just 27 touchdowns (14 INTs) during the regular season. The guy is the real NFL MVP. I don't care that he had that period during the season when he was yelling at refs and melting down. One could argue that the guy is already greater than Brady because from everything we know about the Brady family, they weren't mooching off his success while getting arrested and ending up on TMZ.
Sure, Tom had to deal with Gisele bitching about him playing one more season for like a decade, but that's nothing compared to Mahomes dealing with Brit Brit and her Tonya Harding ass.
Now comes the news that Pat Mahomes Sr. can't figure out how to open an Uber app on his phone when his son is a half-billionaire about to play in the Super Bowl.
What a way to start Super Bowl week.
Things I expect to happen this week in Las Vegas
1. A Pro Football Hall of Famer will get into trouble with hookers.
2. There will be a shooting that makes headlines.
3. An athlete will end up divorced due to his Vegas activities.
4. Someone will die in a wild way that's separate from the shooting incident.
5. A current or former athlete will fail to pay a gambling marker, and he will eventually turn into the next Antoine Walker.
6. Over/Under past or present NFL players arrested: 3.5
7. A massive hotel/casino brawl separate from the shooting incident.
8. Big J NFL media complaining about the Excalibur media accommodations.
9. The Super Bowl will be fixed.
10. People will bitch about how long the lines are at the airport and complain about how packed the city is this week. I'm out on Vegas this week. Those of you visiting can have all the fun. Go nuts. Make content.
I watched more LIV golf Sunday than I've ever watched LIV golf
My reaction: The constant club music being played from a DJ 5,000 yards away is rather annoying. Outside of that, it's a solid product. I like the constant stream of graphics and the scoreboard on the left rail is a nice touch.
Things I'd change:
• Lose the club beats. We get it, you're LOUDER, but it's annoying LOUDER
• The on-course correspondents are in over their heads. I don't know who the woman was with the final group, but she offered very little to the broadcast. I'd upgrade there.
• I need to see a little more from the other groups. It felt like I was watching the lead group and not much else besides Cam Smith making several birdies in a row. Show us Dustin Johnson, who seems to have put on a couple of pounds. Someone is on the draft beers.
• LIV needs to expand on this team element a little more. I don't feel like these guys have bought into the team concept. More development in this area.
• Don't do the crowd shots where a cameraman is walking along the rope with the camera bouncing while showing the fans. It was awkward and not steady.
• I hope the Saudis don't kill me for saying any of this.
If you're using Brave to visit OutKick
• Cam writes:
I'm seeing the problem with Brave cutting out sections of the Sceencaps page. I played around a bit and found that the problem is caused by the Brave Safe Browsing setting.
When turned on to standard or higher brave checks the embedded urls against a list Brave maintains of sites it considers unsafe. If a url for a site is on their list, it will not be displayed.
Turning Safe Browsing off allows all items to be displayed on Brave.
Do you have a problem with people watching a movie via Apple Pro Vision while holding a sleeping baby?
Welcome to the next generation of arguments on social media. Are you now a bad parent if you wear VR goggles while holding your sleeping baby? Or, is this just the future we're about to live? Will dads hold their babies while watching home improvement videos via Apple goggles?
I feel like we're days away from a major headline in the New York Times where they interview an ethicist over these two photos.
Once again, we're going to beat the Times to the biggest topics of the day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Working from home has its perks
Where are my work from home readers? Do you miss the office drama? Do you miss hypotheticals like whether you should report your boss for making out with a co-worker?
As someone who has been working from home or on the road for the last 13 years, I can say I don't miss the office life. I don't want to catch a co-worker making out with a boss. I don't want to attend Christmas parties. I don't want to sit in boardrooms.
Just leave my ass alone and let me blog and come up with things like the Thursday Night Mowing League.
Do people hold eclipse parties/tailgates?
• Shawn M. in Canby, OR writes:
Read today about Ohio experiencing an eclipse.
It's really not to be missed and is pretty awesome to be part of.
We had a total eclipse here in Oregon in 2017. My home was a couple miles from the total eclipse zone, and at the time, I was working just outside of that, in a partial zone.
My wife got the total eclipse, and I enjoyed the partial eclipse.
You could actually feel the temperature drop (this was August) and it got really dark (around noon). Lasted maybe 10 minutes or so from start to finish?
One of the weirdest and fascinating experiences I ever had (outside of a ufo
sighting near Area 51).
Don't miss it! Take time off, grab the family, set up the lawn chairs with some ice cold Yuengling.
You won't regret it or forget it.
Famous games you just happened to attend
• John in Milford, MI writes:
I’ve been to a few memorable games here in Detroit over the years.
I was at the Lion’s Thanksgiving Day game at the Silverdome in 1998 with the infamous coin flip incident at the start of OT when the Steelers called tails but the ref said they called heads. Lions erroneously won the toss, got the ball, and kicked a FG to win. Made for a fun holiday.
I was at the Wings game at Joe Louis in 2005 when Jiri Fischer collapsed. No one knew what was happening at the time. The game stopped and there was all kinds of activity on the Wings bench. People were thinking maybe someone caught a skate to the throat, but it ended up being cardiac arrest. After a while the announcer came on and told everyone the rest of the game was canceled due to a medical emergency. Thankfully Jiri survived.
I was sitting in the bleachers along the LF line during Game 4 of the 2006 ALCS against the A’s when Magglio Ordonez hit his walk off HR to send the Tigers to the World Series. It was a cold as a witch’s tit that night but none of us watching felt a thing.
I think the best game I went to was a Tigers game on June 12, 2007. A good friend of mine I work with and another older coworker were taking a client to the game, so we bought good seats about a dozen rows directly behind home plate right next to the radar gun. At the last minute the older coworker decided to cancel so we ended up taking a younger guy we had just hired. Ended up having a perfect view of Justin Verlander’s first no-hitter. Needless to say the guy who canceled was bummed, but his replacement couldn’t have been happier - I remember him saying "I really think I‘m going to like working here."
• Cow Hand writes :
August 19, 1969. Ken Holtzman No-Hitter vs Braves
Family vacation takes us through Chicago. It's the summer where the Cubs are on FIRE. (30+G over .500) The town is consumed with the Cubbies. Dad gets us (Dad, Mom, Sister, Me, Brother) tickets to see Cubs vs Braves. Only Standing Room is available. (I hated SRO, but I wasn't going to complain.)
We're watching the game and I'm keeping a Scorecard while standing. Hank Aaron absolutely CRUSHES a ball very high to LF (being SRO one of the things I didn't realize was how hard the wind was blowing in) the ball dies and Billy Williams catches it in the LF well up against the wall.
Cubs Win. We go to the car and sit in post game traffic. I get to work on my scorecard totalling up stuff. I get to the bottom and start to add up the Braves hits. IT'S A ZERO.
I announce to the car "I think we just saw a No-hitter." No one knew until my announcement. Still have the scorecard.
Let's see what Mike T. & Cindy T. got into over the weekend
• Mike T. writes:
First Sunday of Carnival, bbq seafood places hopping!
Frozen fog in the UP of Michigan
• Myron B. writes :
A couple topics I wanted to touch on. Don't always have time to be responsive but usually find time to peruse the column.
Worst job experience was in 1970. Formula 409 was just out and was doing door to door demonstration with young men hard up for money. I was visiting a friend in the Detroit area and needed a few bucks to answered the ad. Should up in a residential area in the northern suburbs where a young man not much older handed out flyers and spray bottles with orders to go house to house. Only he discovered his car wouldn't start and was last seen trying to push start a automatic transmission down a suburban street with the help of a couple of the other salesmen. After a decent interval we went our separate ways, which for me was a several mile hike. Never followed up or went back
My only experience with sports greatness came in the early 60s when MichiganTechs hockey team won the NCAa Division 1 title. A couple nearby had season tickets and she didn't always want to go, so I got to watch Tone Espisito et.. al. in action in a small UP ice arena. Some fantastic hockey. What triggered the memory was the comment on smoke in a facility. Smoking was restricted to the front lobby and by the end or intermission would be at knee level
Attaching a picture from yesterday. Another reminder of the beauty of living in the UP. Warm days put moisture in the air and the cold night painting trees with frost.
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That's it this morning. We're off and running with Super Bowl LVIII. Let's hope it's a smooth one filled with great content and storylines that result in piles of pageviews and great memories. May your bets hit. May your parties be memorable.
Now go have a strong work week and get to the weekend.
Have a great day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com