Hooters Olivia Likes Wings, MNF Ref In Tears & Tennessee Orders New Goal Posts Just In Case
This type of behavior will get you Screencaps GOAT status
• Newly inducted Screencaps GOAT Mike T. & GOAT wife Cindy T. are officially in Germany and when I say officially, I mean officially. Read this email:
Long day yesterday, we used miles to fly so our flight changed a lot over the months. Ended up being Boise to Seattle, Seattle to Las Vegas and then to Frankfort Germany. 24 hours in transit, but was able to upgrade to business class so drank our way across the Atlantic.
Ok, we lease a car for 6 months in Europe, so first things first, Slapped a TNML on that new Peugeot! That’s representing the team across Europe!
Another 4 hours driving to an overnighter in a hotel. Needed a beer bad and because it’s Monday nothing open restaurant or bar-wise. So I go across the street at the local store and get a couple local beers for the hotel balcony.
Off for a 7-hour drive to Italy!
Auf Wiedersehen
I'm speechless over this news that Mike will be spreading the league colors all over Europe like this.
Are bumper stickers or window stickers even a thing in Europe? One of you is in Europe and can fill me in on what the reaction will be to TNML cruising down European highways. Do the Italians even mow their lawn?
What an adventure this is going to be.
Hopefully, we have random Euros who end up Googling the league and send selfies with the T rental.
Instagram Model Hall of Fame Nominations
Joe!
Hopefully, this one makes the ‘Caps. I’ll just quietly take the satisfaction of knowing I’m helping the fellas (and ladies) with some of the best IG models and credits (Dani’s new site, Houston news personalities, making sure Selma’s birthday post got its proper recognition). I realize as Commish, you’ve got a ton on your plate, just trying to do my part and chip in.
I agree with Mark D from Thursday: Enough with Beau in Toledo’s late-night ramblings. They’re like the midnight texts I get from my now-married ex-girlfriend at midnight…TLDR (too long didn’t read). You don’t see the T’s in Idaho or Darryl in Indy firing off jibberish. We’ve got standards here.
One point on Hildee to drive this home. How vain are you that you’re overanalyzing someone’s belly button. Their Instagram models for Christ’s sake. The entire purpose is smoke and mirrors from the day-to-day grind of the normal 4s and 5s we encounter. Look at the pretty thing and move on.
With that though, I’ve watched the comments the past few weeks and have a proposal the lovely Instagram Ladies:
Screencaps Hall of Frame or Screencaps God Tier
Instant inductees (in no order) would be the lovely Elizabeth Hurley, the time-defiant Selma Hayek, the luscious Dani Torres, real-life Barbie Hildee, perfect ten Glory, and the made-for-bikini-only Veronika Rajek. I know you love some Paige VanZant, but not my personal cup of tea…but that’s with the column the best of the best. It’s always up for a vote.
What does induction get you? Your new post(s) with your next two sexiest lead off ‘Caps the next morning and there’s zero posting of negativity. I dare someone try to come up with something negative about those six lovelies. I’d just crack a beer at 9 AM and watch them get bodied!
Of course Sara Beth Lawhorn, Katrina Pacensa are obvious second-round inductees and the case could (maybe) be made for Hannah Palmer and Mikayla Demaiter, but we need more from Hannah than the overplayed “Orgasm Donor” shirt or Mikayla with the busty leaned over pic in hockey gear. Great photos? Absolutely? Overplayed/used? Yes. This is ‘Caps…standards are high!
Love the work of ‘Caps man. Been reading for almost as long as you and Bobby have been there with Clay and to see how much you’ve grown this (with the input of the community obviously) has been awesome.
Small tweak on the Sunday Caps, can we bring Anthony back? I just think he got the community with the whit and satire that we’ve come to expect from you.
Also, can you connect me with Chris in Houston? Huge Ole Miss fan and heading to College Station for the game on 10/29 and would love to connect.
Cheers!
Wow, there's plenty of meat in that email. So much to answer. So much to analyze.
A 1984 woodpile story for the ages
• Tom S. in Atlanta, GA writes:
First-time Emailer, but the woodpile stories have me laughing about 1984 in Dunwoody, GA.
Our house had a very low and steep backyard that my stepdad was trying to level out. So instead of getting a couple loads of dirt, he used stacks of newspaper bundles that we had been building for about 5 years. You may not know, but newspapers in bundles don't just break down.
The yard backed up to woods, and I was 17 in my Sr year of HS. Next to the now fairly level garden of newspapers was our log pile, which I proudly cut and chopped at least 80% of. It was about 3 cords, and stacked in a classic wall 2 deep.
We had a fire one night, and the next morning, my mother told me I had to clean the fireplace before I left the house. I objected that there were still burning embers, but I got the "I'm your mother and will do as your told," message. So I cleaned the ashes and embers and dumped them where my step dad wanted them, on top of the newspaper farm. There was dirt over them, but also a fall's worth of dry leaves and pine cones. Then I left to go hang with friends.
About 3 hours later I'm driving down my street, see a huge smoke plume and just knew it was bad. I get to the back yard and my neighbor has our hose, half frozen, so pumping only about a gallon an hour, and I see the newspaper farm and the wood pile on fire. A huge blaze. The fire department showed up minutes later, but we lost at least half the wood pile.
You don't often get to tell your mom "I told you so," but that story was told first fire every season.
Just wondered if anyone else had accidentally burned down their stack. I can't be the only one, can I?
We have a question about guns...I'll forward your responses to Geoff
• Geoff R. has a question
Joe: Good morning from beautiful Knoxville where we are full-on celebrating fall weather and our Vols are prepping to host Bama in a huge game this Saturday.
Have not read any SC discussions about guns but it seems like a natural topic. I am a rookie gun owner looking to build a small collection. I own a Bersa .380 my father-in-law gave me. Looking to buy a new Smith and Wesson pistol to complement it as Smith and Wesson is moving their HQ from Massachusetts (apologies to those SC readers from Massachusetts) to a small town just outside of Knoxville. Thinking a 9MM S&W would be a good choice but wanted to see what SC readers had to say.
Also interested in getting a semi-automatic or automatic long rifle but again looking for expert input from SC readers. Keep up the great work and always look forward to the day's SC post!
Geoff, I have a feeling you're in good hands here. Hang tight. The emails will start arriving shortly.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Columbus Day
• Here's how Beau in Toledo celebrated:
Then Beau sent a follow-up email:
So how did Everyone celebrate COLUMBUS DAY?
Yeah, I called it COLUMBUS DAY, Get over it, lib libs.
(I had #COLUMBUSDAY off, but wound up doing more work than I do at work! 
)
My Brother Andrew reminded me that Smokin' Hot Mexican weather channel Ladies are here in part because of Chris...
A few comments, and In no order of significance, because the 'NationReaders who brought these subjects up all rank Top Shelf:
SCREENCAPS GETS ITS OWN TAB, CLAY TRAVIS!!!
Including full archived links, too...
Clay talked about TP'ing houses on The Clay and Buck Show today... Nashville ain't that far from Toledo, and I watch the weather... getting TP'd right before a rain is a Family Friendly Double Barrel Middle Finger, so You've been warned, Clay. 
Chili Season: (OhgoodHell, here I go again)
Cold enough temps to enjoy cooking it in cast iron over the fire and the warm belly from garden fresh peppers, and warm enough the next day so we can open the house windows because some of Us put beans in it! (Nod to Mel Brooks and BLAZING SADDLES!)
Hobo dinners in a cut-open keg over fire are in season as well... just sayin'...
Danny W gets the ScreenCap Pic of The Quarter; I text bombed that pic to everyone in my contacts! (which begs the question of a ScreenCaps and/or #TNML Calendar idea, Joe). Wow, Danny... that was an amazing picture... I sent it to my Dad in NC to remind Him of Home. Pics like that show ALL of ScreenCaps Nation from a different and very beautiful view... I dare You to send more from other cities!
Methinks "Mowin' ain't easy" from Jeremy P wins next year's #TNML shirt idea, IMHO... aviator glasses and New Balance League Shoes should also be considered under the phrase... a gaudy gold chain to throw some props to big daddy kane for the og phrase won't hurt either.
How in the Name of The Good Lord did DO HARD THINGS! **not** get suggested by the entire Readership for the first ScreenCaps tee?!?
What the six.
(Indy Daryl and Fam get freebies, ftr)
That's gotta be a lock, Joe... it's HOF Stuff right there.
I like Louie's idea of names on the back, but they have to be YOUR names... We are **ALL** ScreenCaps, off the top turnbuckle!
That being said, a Special THANK YOU to Harvey D for humbling me and kicking me in the shin with His Email of the Year candidacy.
He's damn right... Friendly and semi-fierce bantering is a healthy thing among Family and Friends in this "dive-bar"(another great segment idea; I nominate Barbie's) called ScreenCaps, whether the subject matter be beans or HotGirl belly-buttons... it shouldn't have broken down to the baser instincts of Men, which I let myself succumb to.. we should leave that to the savages in the twitterverse, and let them destroy themselves there.
My Honest Apologies to M.D. and everyone else who felt like their ScreenCap experience was pee'd on by me.
My Uncle Roy told me when I was young; "Life's a Shit Sandwich, and sometimes, ya gotta take a bite."
I Gotta own that.
That being said, I may start an insta account... Yes, Hildeee's belly-button will be my profile pic. 
I got the first Round when we meet.
The Domestic Terrorist formerly know as,
Beau in Toledo
I figured this headline would keep you guys busy today
• Before you ask, yes, those are electric vehicles he's paying $170k in car loans on.
Indy Daryl checking in from the north woods of Wisconsin
• Daryl writes:
Nothing much to say other than it sure is nice to be able to work from a place as beautiful as northern Wisconsin in the fall. Have a great Monday!
What a peaceful way to end a fired-up edition of Screencaps. That's Indy Daryl's specialty around here. He knows there's tension between anti-Beau in Toledo readers and he checks in from Wisconsin with a photo dump that deserves its own peppermint latte.
Now we're good to go for a Tuesday.
Let's get after it.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com