Heidi Klum Gets Wild On Instagram, Eli Manning Juggles Apples & Little Kid Throws Back A Foul Ball
I didn't hit the Mega Millions
In fact, I got exactly ONE number out of 10 plays, but that's not a bad thing as the jackpot pushes over ONE BILLION DOLLARS. Now it's time to get hot. A ticket where I was teased by hitting three numbers and no Mega Ball for a $10 would've played games with my head.
Random Mega Millions thoughts:
• Dive gas stations and independent carryouts are the only places you should be playing the lottery, right? I don't have a study to back up this claim, but it feels like you're not winning if you buy a Mega Millions from a BP. In my mind, it feels like TV stations are always interviewing dive gas station owner Mary Catherine about how it feels to have sold the winning $1 billion ticket.
• I've been calculating the exact size of the lazy river I'd have built. Yes, there would be plenty of space for a Pandora Yacht Rock party at which Christopher Cross would play.
• Yes, I would hire a chef like I'm some mid-level NFL QB.
• A 20-foot wall around the perimeter of the compound should be enough to keep out money-grubbing unwanted family members.
• No chance I'm showing up at lottery HQ to hold that giant fake check.
• I might buy Put-in-Bay.
• The kids might play travel sports....at the greatest golf clubs around the world.
• No more slumming it at airports.
• I'd mow on Thursdays at my secret Rocky Mountain compound.
• Sorry, my Screencaps career is officially over after hitting for $1 billion.
Airline employees set Clay & I straight on the current status of air travel
• Kevin W. writes:
I'm retired after 31 years of being a pilot for Delta and wanted to give you and Clay some perspective on the current state of things with the airlines. Please don't blame the crews for any of this mess. I guarantee you the flight attendants on your flight did not just decide to stay at the hotel longer, any crew doing that would be immediately fired. More than likely they got in late and had to delay their pick-up time to comply with federal crew rest regulations.
As for Clay's situation, that pilot had to have been on duty for a minimum of 12 hours already, and probably had flown multiple legs. The company wanted him to extend his duty day to 16 hours in order to fly the flight. That's a decision I, and all pilots, have had to make many times. Nobody wants a pilot to fly when he, or she, knows their performance will be degraded from fatigue. I have a duty to be honest and make that call. Trust me, no one likes stranding the passengers, we hate it.
All of this can be laid at the feet of management. They know how many pilots they have, they know how many flight attendants they have. Yet they still put out schedules that simply can't be flown with the number of crews. They are greedy and not very smart.
I'll get off my soapbox now. Just remember, the next time a pilot can't take your flight, blame the right person and complain to the CEO.
• Danny W. in Minnesota writes:
Air Travel: Adam from Nebraska and I both work for an airline that has been recently under attack for poor performance. Pilots have strict duty times. We can work up to 14 hrs in one day. Sometimes, like in Clays’s case, we have to decide if we want to extend our day another 30 minutes. We mostly do that because we don’t want disruptions to our lives or in most cases our passengers' lives.
We are also required to have a certain amount of time in the hotel getting “rest” before we show up for work. After crossing multiple time zones I put the quotes around “rest” because 10 hrs free from duty (I said dooty) doesn’t always mean we are sleeping. We also have to eat, wind down, go to bed, get up, shower shave, iron our uniforms and have breakfast before we show the next day. Then we could be facing a 14 hr day all over again with flying multiple flights over what we were expected to.
We are making life or death decisions at 2 am or 4 am at the tail end of that 14 hr day. The flight attendants in your case might not have been told of their flight assignment until they got to the airport. Through no fault of their own, they were put into a situation where they couldn’t win. They were getting their legal amount of rest which was probably the minimum and were told they were working ATL-DTW when they got to the airport with no mention from the company of when it was scheduled to leave.
No pilot or flight attendant I know purposefully delays flights. Especially pilots. We have Type A personalities, with attention to detail, large egos, and are tough to deal with (just ask our wives.) She packs two big ass suitcases for 2 nights away from home and all I need is a small backpack with my toothbrush and deodorant. I get what it looks like from the customer perspective. Especially when the company representative at the gate puts the fault on the crew and they aren’t there to dispute the claims. Gate agents don’t always have the full story either.
Bottom line is that we are all trying to do our best within the rules of the Government and our respective companies. That’s not every day of our lives because we have the best jobs in existence besides being a Dad. But that’s a glimpse into what can go wrong.
(Danny also wanted to share thoughts on hard seltzers.)
My wife drinks that garbage. I recently decided to make my own since the price is through the roof. Why would I buy 6 seltzers for $20 when I can buy a case of Coors Light Smoothies or Yellow Jackets for $17.99?
1 5 Gallon Keg
2 1.75’s of Tito’s Vodka
5 Gallons of Water
Crystal Light Packets to the desired flavor
Carbonate with a CO2 stone
Tap and enjoy.
$70 roughly for 5 gallons of seltzer that gets the women ripped in the year of our Lord and Patio 2022.
(And Danny wanted to help Andy R. with a mower purchase.)
Can never go wrong with a zero turn. It’s an easy way to get good stripes.
Keep up the good work Joe. America needs you. (Hopefully there aren’t many typos, I wrote this on my iPhone.)
Let me start by saying I enjoy the pushback from the airline employee readership. It's like when the umpires fired back at Clay. Or like when Michael F., the resident college football referee fires back at me when I rip on the refs which will happen in approximately 30 days.
The good news is that everyone got home safe and now we're here to talk about all of it on Screencaps. I like my pilots to land the planes and the flight attendants to keep almond snack packs coming.
Fun drinking cities you didn't expect to be fun and now you have much more respect for that city
• Vince A. writes:
Went to the NCAA Tournament first and second rounds in Tulsa back in 2017; knew nothing about the place but it’s a relatively quick drive from Fort Worth. We had an absolute blast in downtown Tulsa drinking the weekend away. The Blue Dome, Deco, and Arts districts are all close together and have great bars and breweries. Haven’t been back since so it may be between or worse, but have wanted to go back and enjoy another weekend of drinking there.
• Dane in Missouri writes:
To respond to the question about a city that's more fun to grab a drink in than you imagined, the first place that came to mind was Salt Lake City, and in general, Utah as a whole.
I used to travel pretty much every week for work and ended up on a six month project out in Utah in 2015. I'd never been there before and just assumed it was going to be one giant dry state (believe it or not, we still have a few dry counties down in southern MO). I couldn't have been more wrong. Despite some "interesting" laws around alcohol (having to order a plate of fries or chips if you wanted to buy a beer at a place that wasn't solely a bar), I found almost every city had at least one micro brewery, with some of the larger cities having enough to make a day of it on the weekends. Combine that with some of the most beautiful scenery in the country, and it really surprised me how much I fell in love with the place. The wife and I are actually headed back this year for our anniversary trip. Can't say enough good things about Utah, but definitely don't sleep on it if you want to grab some local brews as part of a trip.
• Nick C. in Miami, FL writes:
Being from Miami leaves me with no shortage of watering holes...they are literally everywhere but here's a little nugget for your fun places to drink challenge: Senoia, GA
This little town (population 4386), whose main claim to fame is being the filming location of The Walking Dead, is awesome to enjoy a few adult beverages with friends, family, or in our case, with complete strangers who ended up becoming friends.
With three bars within walking distance of each other on Main Street, it is very easy and convenient to pub crawl. From an Irish pub, to a restaurant owned by the main character of the show, to our favorite, the BBQ joint with a full bar!
Me, the wife, my sister and niece visited in February to experience The Walking Dead Tour. After the tour we were hungry and walked into McMasters BBQ for a bite to eat. The manager approached us and apologized for running out of food (fresh daily) but stated the bar was open. That was good enough for us and we proceeded to drink ourselves into oblivion while dancing and singing karaoke with total strangers.
By the time the night was over we had gained a group of amazing new friends who bonded over alcohol, music, and love of country. It could not have been better or more memorable.
This little jewel in northwest Georgia left an amazing little imprint on our souls and is a must-see for anyone looking for something off the beaten path.
Keep up the great work!
New skin
• Beau in Toledo thought you guys would appreciate this one:
A #TNML Member trying on a new set of League Night treads...
Lawn mower advice for Andy R.
• Chris A, Adamstown, MD writes:
I see that Andy R has issued a lawn mower purchase challenge follow-up to the Screencaps community. I hereby accept!
For half an acre of lawn, I recommend a 22" walk-behind lawn mower with a Honda engine. I have a Toro with the Honda engine, and it's the best. Buy one with a bagging option just in case. No self-propelled business either: Pushing a lawn mower around a moderately hilly yard is great for building and preserving knee strength and getting your steps in.
His yard is too small for a garden tractor, and zero-turns are Satan's handiwork because they tear up your yard where they pivot on the rear tires.
Andy will need a weed whacker too. My Craftsman has a four-stroke engine so you don't need to mix gas and oil like you would for a two-stroke. But I am going the battery route when the Craftsman whacker expires.
If he is doing some sidehill mowing, I recommend wearing cleats, since old sneakers tend to have slippery soles. Metal cleats are great because you can do some aerating as you mow!
One more thing: Put Sta-Bil in every gas can fill-up. You will thank me in the spring, or after a multi-week layoff due to lack of rain.
Mike T. and Cindy T. in Idaho update
• Mike has been rather quiet the last couple of weeks in particular and then out of the blue he pops into the inbox with this news: He and Cindy T. are prepping for a SIX MONTH trip to Europe that will run from October through March!
Mike promises he'll be sending content that "only Screencaps will see."
I picture Cindy T. up late at night pouring over train route plans. VRBO reviews. Calculating how long she wants to stay in Switzerland. This is going to be one of those trips for the T record books. Those of you who were around last winter know that these two don't do the typical tourist stuff. They put Rick Steeves to shame. They're pretty much the Bourdains of Idaho.
It might come off as Mike's bragging with his content proclamation, but it's the truth. Mike understands the Screencaps mission. This content is going to be spectacular.
Speaking of strong marriages...let's end the morning with this 41-year marriage
• Bill H. writes:
My bride was raised by a chief master sergeant in the USAF who loved Tom Osborne's Nebraska football teams. She would watch Saturday and bowl games with him while he taught her rules, strategy, and her love of football.
A couple of weeks ago, the SEC Network replayed the 7 OT Razorback, Ole Miss game with the Matt Jones-led Hogs winning 58-56 over the Eli Manning-led Rebs at Oxford. Having been a long-time Razorback fan, after re-watching that game, she said, "I CAN NOT wait for college football to begin again!"
Which reminds me of when she left a near 2 decades career in retail to attend a community college to obtain an associate degree in IT. One day, while her class was working on a project, she talked about being an immensely huge fan of football. A self-admired stud (imaging a slack-jawed, mouth breather) in the class said, "You would make a good wife". She said, "I am!"
(Emphasis via Bill) When your bride is as passionate about football as she is you and her cubs, you better kiss that booty and call it candy! Going strong 41 years on!
And with that...the day IS ROLLING.
It's the final Wednesday in July 2022. The weekend is practically here. I'm disappearing with the family into the northern Michigan woods where cellphones don't work. All of us need to finish the week strong. We don't ease into the weekends until Friday at lunch. This is crunch time. This is when we separate the blogs that take off the summers and those that keep the hammer down.
Go have a great day!
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com