Genny Shawcross & Hayley Maxfield Declare War On The Pumpkin Spice Latte Mafia, The NFL IS BACK & MEAT
You can literally SMELL the pigskin in the air because there's a southerly breeze off the Ohio River and we live so close to Ada, Ohio where they make the Super Bowl footballs which always tells me that it's football season
I know you're wondering how I've been preparing for the NFL season in my own special way.
- It starts by starting WARS on Facebook where I prepare my brain mentally for the rigors of a season that now stretches all the way into mid-February. I get on Facebook and fight with the Pumpkin Spice Latte Mafia to simulate the WARS I'll have to fight against Browns and Steelers fans for the next 4+ months. The Facebook WARS force me to be quick on my feet with comebacks. Here's some work I've put in this week:
- I also prepared for the season by joining a BIG BOY fantasy football league this season to see just how I match up against some heavy-hitters. The draft was last night at 10 ET with two-minute rounds. I learned, immediately, that these guys shouldn't have ever been allowed to have two-minutes to select picks. The damn draft didn't end until nearly midnight and would've gone later if I didn't suggest to speed things up by the 10th round. ESPN says I have a ‘C’ team. We'll see if that ESPN AI bot is right or wrong. Screw the woke ESPN AI bot.
2024 NFL/Screencaps ‘Did You Knows’
- I was born like five miles from where the first ever NFL game was played in Dayton, Ohio.
- I had some of the biggest baseball games of my prep baseball career on the hallowed ground where the very first NFL was played. The Dayton Triangles beat the scumbag Columbus Panhandles 14-0 on October 3, 1920 right there where my feet walked like 75 years later.
- You could say that the NFL has a played a big role in my life. That's completely fair.
Issues heading into the season:
- I have a basement TV that keeps being booted off the network even though it's hardwired into the network. That has me nervous, but I have a couple of days to get that figured out. I didn't think a CAT5 would just stop working. Who's the fiber optics expert around here?
- I have to travel this Sunday for a family function and it's going to be Crock Pot weather. Was I going to spend all day in the basement when it's going to be 72 and sunny? Hell no. I was going to have a patio day! Crock Pot meaty bean dip, MEAT on the grill and a YouTubeTV quad box. Oh well, it's a long season.
- My kids need Bengals gear. I need to knock that off my to-do list. It's time for these kids to respect their roots and understand their father had to suffer through David Klingler and Marvin Lewis so they could prosper.
- Lee D. in Tampa sent in this one. Todd Bowles, a guy who isn't known to show emotions, is asked what it's like when he walks through that tunnel for the start of another season:
- Bear and the Philly Boys are celebrating the return of the NFL:
This guy deserves a Grammy.
- Michael in Allons, TN has advice to the NFL gamblers making their rookie debuts:
Had a good 2nd half of 2023, turned $100 into $1100. Mostly $10-$25 bets and a couple of $200-$300 winning parlays.
The $1100 high covered all my losses since TN started online betting.
From last Christmas til the end of January, blew through all of it. Breaking one rule of betting, "don’t chase losses". So irritated with myself, haven’t bet since.
Kinda miss it since football started back but not enough to put money back in the account, yet.
I hopped on a call last night with Team Captain Indy Daryl to hear about preparations for the upcoming Team Screencaps Ragnar Relay race
Now things are starting to get real for the race that Indy Daryl has been dreaming about since like mid-February when he asked me if I would sponsor a team. I obliged, but I told Indy D. that this is his team. He's the Keegan Bradley. He had to put together a team that wouldn't let us down.
Now I'm hearing rumblings that there might be some participants who aren't in game shape. I'm hearing some might be skipping training days and the stress is starting to build.
Is this team ready to run from the Jim Beam distillery to Lexington? It's like a 125-mile relay.
Let me just put it out there: This team WILL NOT be embarrassed like I was last year when U.S. Transportation Czar Mayor Pete Bootycheeks passed Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green in the Michigan Ironman because MCBiBG had to take a dump in a Port-o-Let.
That can never happen again. We're better than this. MCBiBG needs to have a much better performanc in Kentucky or I'm going into hiding.
Americans need to see the Minnesota State Fair
- Brendan in F'ville writes:
Love the Minnesota State Fair content. Ever since this jaded native Californian went to "The Great Minnesota Get-Together" for the first time a decade ago, it has been my contention that the MN State Fair is one of the 50 things that a lover of Americana/American Culture needs to see and experience.
From the butter sculptures, to the fried cheese curds, to the Michelob Golden Draft Light (IYKYK). From the nasally voice of Garrison Keilor (if that's your thing), to the prize winning pigs in the livestock building, to the selection of apple varieties in the agriculture building... It truly is an amazing event that the Minnesotans put together and I hope our country never loses it.
As an aside, I never knew how important Minnesota and the U of Minnesota were to the apple industry in this country until I visited the fair. I also discovered the best apple variety in the whole world--The SweeTango (#notsponsored).
Brendan in F'ville also analyzed me based on my favorite apple
- Brendan in F'ville added:
P.S. I secretly judge people based on their favorite apple variety. I had second thoughts about marrying my wife when I found out her favorite variety was Red Delicious. What's yours?
Kinsey:
Granny Smith. What's that say about me?
- Brendan in F'ville:
You like pie.
Kinsey:
That was one of the more interesting exchanges of the year.
Do you remember when I would post those stories about gangbangers hanging at Topgolf and how it's a hotbed for cops to make arrests?
Now comes this news.
After Wednesday's news, some people are saying stick a fork in Topgolf. I wouldn't go that far, but this isn't what you like to see if you're an investor.
Mowing the lawn with lasers
- Harvey D. writes:
Robot lawnmowers with frickin' laser beams! I have watched the Terminator movies, this ends badly!
Kinsey:
As long as these nerds don't live like pigs, I'm cool with this until the lasers and the military robot dogs start killing us. Then we're screwed.
PHX over 100 for 100 days
- Thomas in NC writes:
Having grown-up in Phoenix you know what we call days of over 100 degree heat, Summer. It usually starts around Mother's day and ends around first week of October. A good part of the reason I left. My brother still there has a garage rebuild project upcoming he said starting in October, i asked due to the drop in temperature and he confirmed.
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I'm out of time. Let's go have a great NFL season. Go win money. Go dominate your fantasy league. Go tailgate your ass off. Go have fun.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
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