Empanada Queen Emma Hernan Is Back, Jason Kelce Belts Out The Anthem & Dana White Shows Off His AK-47 Art

I'm not going to lie, I wasn't on top of my game Monday morning due to the food poisoning

I have to apologize for my Monday morning Screencaps effort. You guys show up -- refreshing the home page; I can see the Google Analytics statistics...the home page gets crushed between 9:30 and 10 a.m. ET -- expecting me to fire off a bunch of new thoughts on life, mowing, sports, pop culture, etc. and it just wasn't there due to the possible romaine lettuce poisoning fight I went through Sunday.

My text group is convinced lettuce is the common thread as three of the five from the text group have been struck with similar symptoms. Let this serve as your notice to be on high alert if you dabble in romaine.

But now I'm back on my feet. My head's clear and I'm absolutely fired up for the First Four games tonight from UD Arena in Dayton. It's also a big night here in the Kinsey house as the kids will fill out brackets after dinner and we'll tape them to the basement door.

Last night, they were out in the driveway shooting hoops, laughing, playing PIG, flipping water bottles with friends, and enjoying the 60-degree temperatures.

And you better believe I'll be in the OutKick Bracket Challenge. The guys at OutKick360 have been busting their asses for the last 12 months to build a fun atmosphere for sports and pop culture in a radio format and I highly recommend joining in the fun.


• Bill H., one of my favorite emailers around here writes,

We were in a sales meeting with some higher-ups when my manager, Larry, was projecting, " If this ad pulls people in..." and "If we hit these sales number..." and " If this all comes together...". Martin, Larry's boss, interrupted him and said, "If, if,if; if the queen had a d!(I{, she'ld be king, too!"

Filling out your NCAA March Madness brackets is the ultimate "IF".

The first time you bust your bracket, it goes from "IF" to "F".

Fill 'em out with confidence, prognosticators.


Thank you for reminding us what it's all about, Bill. Let's not forget your chances of a perfect bracket are 9.2 quintillion to 1. Yes, I'm telling you there's a chance.

On food poisoning

• Perry N. writes:

Read your column today and had to let you know I feel your pain. I went toe to toe with food poisoning on Saturday/Sunday and it literally kicked my a**. I haven't felt that bad since the good old days at OU and Court Street.

Drink lots of fluids and hit them straight.


I wonder if Perry's been dabbling with romaine lettuce. I'm telling you guys, be careful out there. The 'VID hit the road and along came this romaine lettuce flu.

On walking with a lawnmower on your chin

• David C. writes,

You need to sign this guy up for the Thursday Night Mowing League.



Let me start by saying 993 meters with a mower -- does that thing even cut grass? -- on your chin has to be the ultimate conversation starter at the airport bar. How long before you bust out that humblebrag?

What do you do for a living?

Well, I set Guinness World Records for walking with a lawnmower on my chin and I'm in finance on the side.

That brings me to a question for you guys. Do any of you have Guinness World Records? What about state sports records, like most grand slams in a high school baseball game? Or maybe the most Busch Lights crushed at Tank's Bar & Grill in your neck of the woods. What about some sort of Spring Break bar accomplishment when you were in college. Is beer-chugging your specialty? Perhaps you won a ghost pepper eating competition.

Remember, I'll keep you anonymous in case you're afraid your boss wouldn't be impressed by your drinking prowess or your Spring Break antics. Brag on yourself for a minute.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

On used car prices

• Is the bubble about to burst in the used car market? All those emailers who told me to #staystrong for the next 12-14 months instead of rushing out to buy a new or newish car were right. The data is showing the market softening up. Lumber, according to my father-in-law is a whole different story. I was over at his place on Saturday and he had a pile of new $9 2X4s laying around just flaunting his wealth.


On perforated steel prices

• Speaking of my father-in-law, we're working on a build that calls for perforated carbon steel that comes in 12" X 36" sheets. "A few weeks ago when I checked, it was $31 per sheet. Now it's $42 a sheet," he wrote to me in a project update email.


Dammit, Biden!

Guys, it's going to be a beautiful March day here in NW Ohio. I cannot wait to pump out a bunch of content for you guys, step out onto the patio to feel the warmth, then get the basketball out for the kids and enjoy quality time outside.

Then, either tomorrow or Thursday it's officially opening day of the 2022 outdoor golf season. We're talking highs in the upper-60s to low 70s and sunny. This is payback for all those miserable winter days when it was dark and I was sitting in front of a computer. It's time to soak up some Vitamin D.

Have a great day across this great country and don't forget to share what's going on in your world.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.