Elizabeth Hurley Sprawled Out In A Sauna, Baker Mayfield Insults UT Fans & That's Brock Bowers?
My official stance on Brittany Mahomes making the 2024 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue:
As a Content Guy, I have to approve of this because it's going to infuriate the 40 oz. Stanley tumbler-suckin' Brit Brit haters who will unleash absolute hell on that woman over this. Then Brit Brit will cry, her fellow NFL wives and girlfriends will come to her rescue (Kelly Stafford did last night) and it will give content guys multiple ways to play the news.
Emotions = content.
Content = pageviews.
Pageviews = paychecks.
Paychecks = my eventual retirement from this game and the deletion of social media.
Thank you, SI.
I have approximately 200 emails to read with Masters advice
I'm speechless. Thank you. There are so many emails in the inbox that by late Thursday afternoon, I just had to save them to read over the weekend as we get closer and closer to potentially knocking off a bucket list item by visiting Augusta National to soak in the elevation changes, the undulations, eat at the concession stands, and buy souvenirs.
Two things definitely stood out to me from the emails: the emotions from those who had stepped foot on the holy land of golf and the emailer who bet me $5 I can't find a weed on the grounds.
I received advice on taking a real camera instead of depending on a phone to capture the memories because a phone is useless against the beauty of the grounds. I had emailers proclaiming No. 10 could be turned into a ski slope. I had emailers pleading with me to start an exercise regimen right now that includes hill/mountain incline work.
Put it this way, I have tons to think about IF my ticket source finalizes his order over the next couple of weeks.
• Mike D. writes:
I'm going on Saturday and will have a TNML sticker on the back of the chair.
• Mig, who is pretty much a Screencaps advisor, writes:
Wanted to send you a note. Was lucky to win 3 tix to the par 3 via lottery in 2010. Went down with my dad and son for Wednesday. Gates opened at 8 AM. We were in line prior.
Had 4 hours to walk anywhere we wanted and you can have a camera for the day. No phones back then but not sure about now. The holes at the par 3 are set up for hole in one's. We found a spot on a pond where we could see the tee shot and the green. We saw 2 HIO's I think.
Best part was all the participants had to walk around the pond right in front of us. Dad got to say hey to Arnie, Jack, and Gary who he watched when he was young. Arnie hit a 60 foot putt in front of us and the crowd went wild.
Make sure you stay till the end and you might see the fleet of mowers hitting the fairway as you leave. To be able to do it with my dad and son rang high on my great days in life. If you think there is some TV magic that make the course look great there is not. It looks even better in person.
Have fun whatever you decide.
Kinsey:
Look at that final photo. I want my own photo of this hanging in my garage next to my mower.
• Wes G. says:
As a longtime Augusta resident that has been fortunate to attend many Masters practice rounds, I would highly recommend going on Tuesday to get the full experience of seeing the entire course, especially Amen Corner. Most of the players will be on course on Tuesday also.
Wednesday is a fun day to go, but the par 3 course gets so crowded it is hard to see the golfers. They don't sell beer on the par 3 course anymore so you have to take a long walk to get a cold one.
Definitely worth going on Wednesday if you get another chance, but for a first timer Tuesday is the day.
• Dr. J. in North Augusta writes:
7-time Masters Tourney attendee plus have been to several practice round days. I've never attended the Par 3 course and don't regret it. Maybe one day I'll go, but I have a hard time trading that for standing at 18th green and taking in the golf sanctuary that is the Augusta National golf course.
If you want to see the course you have to go on Monday or Tuesday. I've only gone on Tuesday practice rounds and have heard there are more golfers on the course Tuesday than on Monday.
Par 3 is great for getting close to the golfers and seeing them in a more relaxed mood in addition to seeing the celebrity and family caddies. But that wouldn't make up for missing Amen corner, the elevation changes on the course, 7's postage stamp green, etc.
If you go on Monday or Tuesday, see the course and golfers first, then hit the shop for souvenirs on the way out. The line for the merchandise in the morning is crazy and you'll burn valuable time waiting in line. Plus, pros tend to end their practice rounds early to mid-afternoon.
• Kevin writes :
The Masters is my favorite sporting event of the year. My appreciation for the event grew after being lucky enough to go to The Masters on three different occasions (09-11). One of my closest friends, Lee, mom was a ticket broker. She provided an "all inclusive" service for The Masters. As part of buying your badge through her, she would also arrange housing and transportation for you time in Augusta.
The first year I went in 2009, I arrived in August on Wednesday evening and woke up early Thursday to get out on the course. But there was a problem, Lee's mom did not have a badge for me. At the time she would "sell" you a badge, but you'd have to return it by a certain time so someone else could use it later in the day. After a while I just assumed I was on this "ticket plan". Around 11AM, I was told my badge was ready, but Lee and I and another guy, Teddy, we'd meet and partied with the evening before would have to go to the airport to get it. Lee's father uncovers his "nice" car and proceeds to drive the four of us to the Augusta airport, the private terminal. When we arrive at the airport, I notice a familiar face. We all get out of the car and Teddy says "come meet my uncle". His uncle is JACK NICKLAUS. We share a brief pleasantry, and Teddy is handed a stack of "credit cards". Turns out these are our badges for the day, and it gave us access to Terrace area just off the club house. My first trip to Augusta and I get to use a Nicklaus family badge.
I've done everything except the weekend, and frankly never wanted too either. Based on my experience I'd do practice rounds over the par 3. Everyone was packed into the same "small" area of the grounds and its elbows and a$$holes out there. It was much more relaxed and less crowded in the early part of the week. That said, the most fun I've had there was sitting in the stands at Amen Corner on a Friday afternoon. Peak early spring afternoon day drinking.
A few years later, Teddy reached out to Lee and I and says "If you guys can make it to Columbus, I've got you a hotel room and tickets for The Memorial." Thats another story for another time.
Masters travel partners: How did you decide?
• Ricky A. has a question for those who have been:
How in the world do/did you choose who you got to take?
Kinsey:
I'm starting with my father. I talked to him yesterday asking if he could/would be on high alert if my ticket hookup finalizes the order/there aren't any last-minute changes in his life.
I don't know what my dad needs to make his decision, but he hasn't called me back to confirm/deny his interest. My thing with him is that I never know where he's going to be. Florida? Ohio? Somewhere up and down I-75? I have no clue from week to week. One minute the retirees are in Key West, the next minute they're somewhere on I-75 in Tennessee at a Buccees.
After that, I will have options that include Canoe Kirk because he's typically my cartner.
I will say that I moved Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green to the bottom of the list because he's already been. I was honest with him. I told the text group MCBiBG goes last.
The Masters Week of a Lifetime
• Rob from NC shares:
I was at the 1996 Masters. My cousin had two badges for the week, and he offered them to me for the practice rounds. My wife and I gladly accepted and we went all three days. You need to go on Monday or Tuesday over Wednesday if you have the choice, and make sure you walk the entire course.
Wednesday night I got a call from him that he can't attend Thursday and Friday. Awesome! I now love his job that is consuming his life. We stay and go to the first two rounds. We get to witness Greg Norman shoot a record first round score of 63. Friday night Norman has a four shot lead. We followed him for a bunch of holes both days.
My cousin tells me Friday night that he now can't make it for the weekend, so we get to keep the badges and attend. We keep our hotel 90 minutes away. Our first of four kids was born the next year in 1997, and looking back, there is no way we could have pulled this off after having kids. What was scheduled to be three days at the practice rounds ends up being all seven days.
Saturday was another great day with perfect weather. Norman played solid on Saturday and has a 6 shot lead starting the final round. I'm excited to see him win it. He's got this wrapped up. Sunday we follow him for 7 holes, and he's still up 5 shots. We decide to stop following him up number 8 and we grab a spot on 13 half way between the tee and the green. The best par 5 in the world is not a bad place to sit and relax while we wait for the leaders to get there in about an hour.
We settle in, and I'm enjoying this spot watching the pros decide if they want to go for the green or lay up with their second shot. I can't see any of the vintage scoreboards. I hear a huge groan from all the patrons (not fans) over by 12. I leave my wife in our spot near the rope, and I go hunt up a scoreboard. Norman just bogeyed 9. Fifteen minutes later he bogeys 10. Then 11. Then he hits it in the water at 12, makes a 5, and is now down 2 shots to Nick Faldo on 13 tee.
Both guys hit their tee ball right on 13, and Norman's ball comes to rest in the pine stray no more than 30 feet from us. Phil is in the group ahead and he has already teed off 14. Norman gets to his tee ball and he can't decide if he wants to go for it or lay up. He takes what seems like forever to decide. I want him to go for it. He finally lays up (Phil would have gone for it). Faldo now takes forever to decide if he wants to go or lay up. He pulls a fairway wood from his bag. I'm excited. I want him to go for it. He is just about to hit, and he backs off. He goes back to his bag, takes forever again, and he pulls an iron. I assume with the iron now in hand he too is laying up. Nope. He flushes that iron to the middle of the green. Game over.
I was sad that Norman didn't win. Faldo already had two green jackets. After the round, both guys were first class. To this day, that 6 shot final round blown lead is the largest ever on the PGA tour. I still thank my cousin every time I see him.
Turn off your damn Christmas lights unless you have the white lights where you're trying to act like elitists who drink expensive wines
Then I get it.
Those who have candy canes lit up in their unkept garden beds and hundreds of multicolored lights lit up like it's December 1 need to have an intervention. We're like five weeks away from Spring. ACT LIKE IT!
• Greg E. says:
I don't think outdoor lights are too extensive in Chicago, but there is a guy on my block who brings his artificial Christmas trees(!) out early in November and keeps them up until about March 1.
• Todd S. writes:
Christmas lights are still up. I have multi-colored, white and red lights. My wife insists on them being on way longer than I would normally do as they bring her joy in the gloom of January, so as a compromise, just the white and red ones are on for Valentines Day. All multicolored strands are off, yard decorations are put away. February 15th they will all be turned off and hopefully one warm Midwest 50-degree day they will all be down.
The 12-foot skeleton phenomenon needs to end
• Stu in SOUTH Jersey writes:
Joe, I read with amusement you writing about people leaving their Christmas lights up into February. Of course that is ridiculous but I’ve got something that’s even worse… The folks who put those stupid 12-foot-tall skeletons in their yards for Halloween and then put a Santa hat on it in November and leave it up through Christmas.
We had four guys in my neighborhood who had their skeletons up into the middle of January. (One guy put his up on Labor Day weekend!! that’s over 1/3 of the year his house has a 12 foot skeleton in the yard!)
Finally, I guess God looked down on it and said, "all right guys, that’s enough with the stupid skeletons" and sent us a wild storm with 50 mph winds that knocked out power, uprooted trees, and thankfully took down their stupid skeletons. Look, we get it… You guys spent…well, let’s be honest, WASTED, hundreds of dollars on the stupid skeleton and you wanna get your moneys worth, but it’s so played out at this point.
Please…Those things should not be up for more than a week…
You people with pet raccoons are asking for it
Wait until Screencaps Sheriff John in Houston watches this. The guy is going to lose it worse than when his wife said she was buying a $12,000 breakfast bar.
Screencaps readers who witnessed sports history
• Acid writes:
I was at the 1977 World Series Game where Reggie Jackson broke up a double play with his butt cheek. Watching the video, I guess it was really his thigh but I've always remembered it being his butt.
• R.W. from Nashville shares:
Growing up in Charleston, WV in the early 90s, I saw future NFL Hall of Famer Randy Moss and future NBA superstar Jason Williams suit up for the SAME high school basketball team, representing tiny DuPont HS. Randy and Jason were both 1st team All State, leading DuPont to a state championship.
Randy Moss also won a football state championship (playing both ways) at DuPont. Even more remarkable, during his senior year, he won the 100-yard dash at the State track meet after not running in a meet all year. Simply a freakish athlete.
Coming face-to-face with an *alleged* killer
• Jon writes:
Hey Joe, I’ve been meaning to send you this as well, and it slipped my mind.
On the topic of randomly running into famous people: in the mid to late 90s, there was a popular book out titled The Millionaire Next Door. A partner of mine, Earl, had read it and let me borrow it for an upcoming trip I had to Chicago. After breakfast on Sunday morning, I was walking back to my hotel and had the book with me. I stopped into Niketown on Michigan Avenue to kill some time. While I was looking at some clothes on a wall, I knew that somebody was standing next to me but had not looked over at them. A worker at the store asked the person if he needed any help and I recall him saying "No, just looking for some stuff for my kids. They are big for their size, so that’s why I’m in the adult section." I thought I recognized the voice, but waited until he walked away to look.
O.J. Simpson
He had a few people with him, and they were walking through Niketown as if they were oblivious to the fact that people would move away as they approached (Niketown had that big opening in the middle so you could see activity on other floors).
After they left, it dawned on me that I had my buddy’s book and I should try to catch them to have OJ autograph it to Earl. They were still standing outside, so I made the ask, telling him my name was Earl. Here’s what he wrote:
When he put the smiley face inside of the O, I realized there was no way I was giving this book back and bought my partner a new copy!
Kinsey:
Best I can do on the subject of coming face-to-face with an alleged killer happened at the Pro Football Hall of Fame a few years back.
Speaking of ‘Killas’ I hear Warren Sapp went off on me Thursday during an OutKick interview in Las Vegas
I'm told QB Killa Warren just murdered me – again! Straight up stuck a butcher knife in me multiple times. I hear it's a brutal attack.
For those who don't know, Warren already murdered me once back in the fall when I couldn't get his bum ass off the phone. Here's the fun I had with Warren.
Warren wants me fired. Warren wanted to call my boss in New York and have me sent to the unemployment line. He was hinting at lawsuits. He thought I would be shaking in my boots.
Emotions = content.
Content = pageviews.
Pageviews = paychecks.
Thanks, Warren.
Rhonda, Spain
• Mike T. and Cindy T. went to see the Roman bridge in Rhonda, Spain:
