Climate Researchers Send Annual Holiday Message To The World: Merry Christmas! Earth Will Soon Be An ‘Uninhabitable Hell!’

Would it be the holiday season without climate researchers trying to ruin everyone's good time?

Of course, it would, but they still feel the need to do it.

No one likes to ruin a good time like climate researchers and while the rest of us are decking halls, dashing through snow and roasting chestnuts on open fires, they'd be the first to tell us that within a few centuries, the atmosphere will roast those chestnuts for us.

According to Dawn, astronomers at the University of Geneva (which doesn't even have a D-1 football program) are issuing a warning that if the Earth's temperature goes up a few dozen degrees, it will become an unhabitable hell in the centuries to come. In fact, they're saying after running a bunch of simulations, it could become as hot as Venus.

Climate alarmists are running out of material, especially after they tried to tell everyone that breathing is bad.

According to the National Centers For Environmental Research, the average temperature in North America has gone up just under half a degree Fahrenheit... since 1981.

These researchers are saying it could happen in a few hundred years, but at that clip, it'd be more like a couple thousand.

And that's if they're working in Fahrenheit, which I would assume European scientists are not. In that case, it'd be even longer to hit the few dozen degrees plateau.

Climate Alarmism Continues To Escalate To The Point Of Hilarity

The alarmism is hilarious at this point because it just has to get more severe for anyone to care.

It used to be, "The icecaps will melt," and everyone was like, "Honestly, do we even need those?" Then it was like, "The coasts will be underwater," and everyone was like, "So then we'll just have a new coast, it's not like the current coast was always the coast."

Now, the climate alarmists have thrown their hands up like an exasperated Frank Costanza.

"That's it! Venus-like hellscape!"

I've grown to like this planet during my 28 years and change. I'd even go so far as to call it "home." However, even as a born-and-raised Earth native, I don't care what happens to it several thousand years from now and neither does anyone else.

If the sun explodes or an astroid clobbers us, what are you going to do?

If the apes rise up and take over, well, then maybe we had it coming.

The planet getting very hot to the point of being uninhabitable hundreds or thousands of years from now? I can live with that. Especially considering I will have been worm food for several millennia.

Yeah, they got it. Otherwise, there'd be no other reason to talk about the University of Geneva. However, the attention just underscores how ridiculous this kind of alarmism is getting.

And that's what's kind of funny, because where do they go next after uninhabitable hellscape? The climate will get so bad it steals your girlfriend? Slashes your tires? Empties your checking account and kills your dog? I really have no idea where this could go.

But I'm excited to watch these attention-seeking doomsday soothsayers try, because we all know they will.

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Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.