The Michigan Men in the text group got me good this year & I'm never going to hear the end of this one
Here I was at the computer this morning just minding my business when I see a message pop up from Diesel in the group chat. It's a link to a Cameo. Dammit, they got me! They must've had my birthday saved to a calendar and they were just waiting in the weeds.
Today, they struck.
I open the link and….NOOOOOOOOOO…it's none other than Michigan Spy Connor Stalions. And it's a FOUR-minute video where Stalions is telling me to come out of the closet as a Michigan Man. He even knows that I love Yacht Rock, garage beers and even mentions how TNML would support me if I come out of the closet.
I'm absolutely SICK TO MY STOMACH!
FOUR Minutes! I thought this Michigan Spy forgot to turn off the camera two minutes in, but he actually goes on for FOUR MINUTES. Now just imagine this psycho stealing signs in the stands like he's CIA.
I wasn't joking when I dubbed this guy CIA Stalions. It takes a true psycho to pump out a four-minute birthday Cameo message.
The full video is posted on the PRIVATE OutKick Screencaps Facebook page. Go join the group to watch.
How about that Super Bowl!
Did you watch? I did.
I know Chiefs fans will think I'm a hater and I rooted against them and they'll slide into the emails to scream about how I'm a hater and how I will have to deal with Chiefs Kingdom for a long, long time and how they're the greatest and on and on and on.
As I mentioned last week (and I might have to turn part of this into a t-shirt):
Emotions = content
Content = pageviews
Pageviews = paychecks
While I would like to see MY Bengals win a Super Bowl once in my lifetime, when pressed into a tough situation like watching a 49ers-Chiefs Super Bowl, I always root for the team that will create the most emotions. That's the Chiefs.
The Mahomes family is a walking content factory. It's good for business. Business is good for my eventual retirement from the social media world. In this case, I root for money, so the Chiefs winning wasn't the worst thing ever.
Very quick observations:
• I hit one score change square in the 4th quarter when Jake Moody's extra point was blocked. I had 6-6 in the 4th.
• You're damn right I was sweating a holding call or some sort of penalty to knock the 49ers out of field goal range with 1:50 on the clock and the game tied at 16. Instead, Moody hits from 53-yards and my chance to win the final score square – which was worth several thousand – was over. Ouch.
• How did CBS not show Brittany Mahomes once in her suite? Or did I miss it? It's not that I was hoping to see Brittany. I wanted to see if Pat Mahomes Sr. was crushing Coors Lights and partying with IG models.
• Nate Burleson is trying too hard. We get it, you're on the CBS morning show with Gayle King. Stop trying to be the greatest voice of a generation. The guy wouldn't shut up.
• I just saw that next year the Super Bowl is in NOLA and then it goes back out west to Santa Clara (again) and then Los Angeles.
• Thank you to Dan Patrick for advocating for Brent Musburger to get into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. That was one of my favorite moments of the week. Brent was damn near in tears. And then I was damn near in tears.
• This is art from Kevin Harlan.
• John from SD says:
The end of the WM Phoenix Open was more exciting than the first Q of the SB. I feel bad for Charley Hoffman but congratulations to the Canuck.
Romo was just as bad as usual.
Even my 18-year-old daughter said the halftime show was horrible.
The 49s D lost that game. It’s all about halftime adjustments.
• Gary M. writes:
The absolute worst halftime show ever.
A National embarrassment
Bring back Up with People over this horse shit
• RidgeRunner writes:
RidgeRunner & Posse kicking off Super Bowl Weekend with their ride @ Sphere.
There's a chance Ridge Runner isn't kidding about that being his ride.
• Mike N. spotted this content on Super Bowl Sunday. This is good:
Sam’s is sampling Bud Light in Austin, TX on Super Bowl Sunday because everyone forgot how it tastes…
First-time mailers & it's a husband-wife duo living in Cabo & we could have a WWE-like feud developing with the Ts!
• Adam & Kerri write:
Hola and buenos dias, Joe. Happy Super Bowl Sunday.
The wife and I are American expats living in Cabo San Lucas, México. We are both long time readers and fans of Outkick and since your latest edition of screencaps specifically mentioned first-timers reaching out, we thought I´d add our thoughts on the content you´ve been cranking out. Here goes:
-Anything related to TNML is greatly appreciated. We don´t see a lot of grass around these parts, so in a way, it is a trip down memory lane for us. Glad to see so many people still take so much pride in a killer yard. Keep it up!
-We don´t understand the content regarding the T´s adventures on vacation. Why are we supposed to care? LOTS of people travel and have interesting experiences. Isn´t that why people travel in the first place? Enough with those two, please..
-Regarding the Instagram babes, being in our fifties, we can appreciate the Liz Hurley´s and Carmen Electra's of the world, for sure. But what is with these chicks that have a rack the size of two pool floats or an ass the size of a billboard? We don´t get it and find it almost comical, actually. See Grace Boor for a recent example..
-Always appreciate the sunrise and sunset shots, although we know some people hate them. Of course, those people likely never lived in Cabo, which is about as good as it gets for both. A few pics are attached for context.
-LOVE the 80´s throwback stuff. The games, commercials, shows, foods, and general knuckleheads that decade cranked out are legendary. Please keep it coming.
-The grilling and recipe videos are a big hit for us. Believe it or not, you actually CAN get tired of tacos and fresh seafood living down here, so we are always looking for something new to toss on the grill or bake in the oven.
-Love the new Chuck Norris adds lately. His bad-assness is hard to measure but always appreciated.
That´s it for now and if you or any of the readers out there need any tips or feedback regarding Cabo, just let us know!
I wasn't expecting for Adam and Kerri to ask for an outright BAN on the Ts and their travel reports, but here we are. Adam & Kerri, I'm in the business of building storylines. If we're going to go 500+ days straight pumping out fresh editions of Screencaps, we need storylines. Where the Ts might pop up next is a storyline that people have gravitated to.
Mike T. finding a random pizza ATM in France (or was it Italy?) and then taste-testing the pizza is a storyline. The Ts visiting a Spanish Costco to give us an inside-look at Costcos around the world is a storyline. The Ts driving around Italy with a Thursday Night Mowing League sticker on their SUV rental is a storyline as league members want to see where that sticker will pop up next.
I challenge all couples traveling the world to share their experiences, the food, the quirkiness of their travels, the Screencaps material that others might be interested in.
I'll continue to challenge the Ts and all others to have their heads on a swivel and share the world that they're experiencing.
It's my hope that Adam and Kerri keep the emails coming and sharing their adventures because those reports will help others in their own travels.
Don't be strangers!
A report from the Wasted Management Open
• Connor writes:
I attended the WM Phoenix Open on Saturday with my father-in-law, brother-in-law, and his friend. We got there right away in the morning before the gates opened. The cold rainy weather dampened the crowd (literally and figuratively), which turned out to be a blessing because we could actually watch golf and have no waits to get a drink or a snack.
Around 10:15, the sun started to come out, and a palpable sense of chaos was growing by the minute. By noon, it was game on, and it was like a different day started. It must have gone from a few thousand people at 10 am to 200,000 by noon.
What added to the debauchery was the ridiculous amount of mud and water. Lots of people with muddy pants and shirts, and definitely a bad day to be a pair of white sneakers. We had to walk down hills sideways to avoid eating dirt. The mud piles and massive puddles forced fans to limit where they could walk, creating pressure points in the crowd where you couldn't move. Below is the bar area between hole six and twelve.
To be fair, the vast majority of people were respectful of other fans and the players. But like anything else, it only takes a very small percentage to ruin the day for everyone else.
The power of Screencaps
• Kris K. in Manchester, NH writes:
My bride is with her sister at the lake this weekend. Used the day to hike with the Berner and the night to get some hours in at the office to catch up/get ahead. Night’s end, hit the local watering hole for dinner and a beverage or two to decompress. Made fast friends with a guy sitting next to me – small talk of life, liberty and the state of the union. At one point he responds to something I quipped "that’s funny, you said your name is Kris Kxxxxxxxx, right? You sound just like Kris K from Manchester on SCREENCAPS".
I nearly fell off the barstool. Jeez Louise, man. It gave me pause.
I live an anonymous workingman’s life. My only [ONLY] engagement on the ‘interweb’ are the few scribes you’ve published. …and this fellah spoke of them.
Points being 1) Wow, do you have a reach! 2) Be mindful of what you say in any medium – people are paying attention more than you know. Your words and actions, big and small, are impactful.
What a message to end this Monday morning. Awesome stuff from Kris. It has the blood pumping. It has me energized. This column has the reach because of YOU GUYS, the readers and those who contribute.
As I've always said, make this column what you want it to be. Join the Screencaps Facebook page. Connect with others. Jump on opportunities like the Screencaps Ragnar Relay team that will compete in October. Fly into Detroit this summer to play in the Screencaps 2-Club Challenge. Get involved. Be a voice.
Now let's go out and have a big day. I'm hurting. You're hurting. But we're not going to let that stop us. Let's get moving.