Chicago Has Ketchup-Dispensing Billboards For Those Brave Enough To Be Seen Eating It In Chicago

As far as condiments go, I think mayo is the most polarizing, but ketchup has its haters.

Somewhat famously, no city in the United States loathes the red stuff more than Chicago. Chicagoans are full-on ketchup-phobes.

If you try to put ketchup on a Chicago dog you're putting yourself in the only situation more dangerous than simply being in Chicago.

However Heinz, unarguably the biggest name in ketchup — is trying to change that perception.

And how does the company plan to do it?

…

That'ss right: ketchup dispensing billboards.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, one of these bad boys has been installed outside the famous hot dog joint, The Wieners Circle. I just know that's the place where the servers swear at you (Triumph the Insult-Comic Dog went there) and it seems like an introvert's nightmare.

Another will be installed outside of a "fast-food" joint.

So the idea, is that you get your food, wander outside, slap the billboard, and help yourself to some ketchup.

I don't know who is going to do this. I wouldn't trust street ketchup or any street condiments for that matter. 

I'm a big mustard guy, but if I really wanted mustard on my hot dog and I was at some horrible establishment that didn't offer mustard due to some city-wide disdain for it and they said, "Well, if you really want mustard there's a billboard outside," I would eat my glizzy sans mustard.

But if you want to risk getting ketchup out of a billboard some junkie or homeless person peed on, you do you…

Speaking of which, I don't like ketchup on my dogs, but I'm not a douche about it. Still, if you get an honest-to-goodness Chicago hot dog — which has like a million things on it already — there's no need to add ketchup to the mix. 

It already has tomatoes on it. You'll survive without a splash of Heinz.