Amy Earnhardt Reminds America That She's Still A Hot-Rod, Tim Walz's Non-DEI Cabinet & Lara Trump In Camo
Well, folks … this is it. The last Thursday of summer. Tomorrow's the last Friday of summer. Saturday's … well, you get the picture.
Fall starts at 8:43 a.m. on Sunday. Weird time, I know, but I don't make the rules. Google does, and that's what Google tells me.
Now, if you're a hardcore Nightcaps student, you know that fall really started weeks ago for us. The Tuesday after Labor Day, in fact. So, this weekend will be no different from the last one. Or the one before that.
But for a certain faction of folks – looking at Screencaps class down the hall, specifically – this is it. In a few days, summer is over, and the Autumn equinox begins.
Good riddance, I say! I love summer, but it's time to move on. I'm ready to park my ass in a pumpkin patch, crack a window for the first time since April, and maybe not spend $400 a month on the AC. That would be cool, especially in this crappy economy.
But it's getting better!
Oh yeah? Is that what yesterday's big news from the Fed means?
Great! Can't wait. Let's get this recession over with. God, I'm so tired of hearing about it. Shit or get off the pot. (Or vote Trump and avoid the whole thing, your call.)
On that … somber yet also upbeat … note, welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we welcome Amy Earnhardt to class because it's not often Amy comes out of the shadows. When she does, she gets a seat up front. Those are the rules.
Google didn't make those – I did!
What else? I've got Tim Walz – Mr. BLM himself – not exactly practicing what he preaches, Lara Trump visiting the border in camo, and the insufferable sports media acting like Adrian Wojnarowski deserves a Purple Heart for his brave service.
Seriously, these people are INSANE. They really do think they're heroes. Real, actual heroes. Lunacy.
OK, that's enough to get us started. We'll see what else we get to today before I take my kid on a walk and sweat my nuts off. Don't worry, though! It all ends on Sunday.
Pencils up, listening ears ON. Let's roll!
Lara Trump protects our great border & more B-Dubs talk!
I don't love starting back-to-back days with burger talk, but sometimes you have to take what life gives you. And this week, it's giving me an excuse to talk Buffalo Wild Wings burgers.
Yesterday was National Cheeseburger Day, which led to me reminding everyone in class that the B-Dubs burger is the best one on this planet.
For the SECOND time this year, I then had a reader email me not only to agree, but also take it one step further.
From Steve:
Totally agree! The Hatch Chili Cheese Burger is my favorite and I still tell anybody that will listen. Love the column and Outkick. You guys are great!
Thanks, Steve!
Honestly, I'm not a huge chili-on-my-burger guy for the same reason I'm not a fried egg-on-my-burger guy – too much going on. If it sounds like it's gonna make a huge mess, it's probably gonna make a huge mess.
That being said, Steve is the second reader to recommend the Hatch Chili burger from B-Dubs, and I'll be damned if I ain't gonna test those waters next time I'm there.
Now, speaking of testing waters, Lara Trump – the great third daughter of our great former president – headed to the border yesterday to see what exactly all the hype's about.
Maybe she can give Border Czar Kamala Harris a full report!
Choose your fighter!
Thanks for being an actual Border Czar, Lara! And welcome to class. Give 'em hell down there. Lord knows we need somebody to act like they give a damn.
PS: what a week for the Trump kids! First you had Ivanka Trump squatting a billion pounds, and now Lara's checking out the border.
What a couple of Patriots! Let's get this family back in the White House and get this country A) safer, and B) healthier!
Or, you know, you can choose the other folks … you know, the ones who shove DEI down our throats and call us all racists?
Yeah, them!
Woj bombs away, Amy Earnhardt resurfaces in time for Bristol and some solid nightmare fuel on the way out
Interesting. All I'm saying. Just … interesting.
And by the way, I don't care at all. Hire black people, white people, hispanic people, toddlers, 90-year-olds … I do not care. Just hire the best people.
It's why the whole DEI push right now is, frankly, the most racist thing we have going in this country. When I worked at Gannett as a BOSS – that's right, a BOSS! – I had to make a few hires. I was told in a wink-wink sort of way just who the big-wigs would like me to hire.
I'll let y'all connect the dots.
Anyway, I said … nope. Ain't doing that. Give me a stack of resumes, don't put names on them, and let me interview the people I deem best to do the job.
Long story short, the kid I hired years ago is now the Sports Editor. It's really not that hard if you don't have a box to check.
Good luck wiggling your way outta this one, Timmy!
Rapid-fire time on this final-Thursday-of-summer. First up? Adrian Wojnarowski announced yesterday that he was leaving his ESPN gig to basically be a college AD, and the insufferable sports media elites acted like a war hero had just returned home from combat:
I mean, good God. They're just so predictable. The Big J journos act like they're literally in the trenches fighting crime and protecting our nation with the work they do.
Hey, Schefty … Woj tweeted out things that agents texted him. That's what he did. That's literally what he did. He didn't cure cancer. He didn't solve world hunger. He didn't protect presidents – although Trump couldn't do any worse with Woj if we're being honest.
He tweeted. He was very good at his job and spent decades cultivating sources and building relationships, but it wasn't exactly blue-collar work.
Amazing.
Next? It's Bristol week for the NASCAR fellas, which means A) Dale Earnhardt Jr. is set to race again in the Xfinity Series Saturday night, and B) we get the once-a-year Amy Earnhardt #content dump!
It's not often we get Amy Earnhardt content anymore – not since Dale hung 'em up six years ago. So whenever we do, we have to pounce on it.
Modest, but still – Amy's the real First Lady of NASCAR, and it's important to remind everyone at least once a year.
PS: Dale races Saturday night at Bristol. He nearly won this race last year before his car caught fire and nearly sizzled his leg hairs off. Probably worth a watch in between college football Saturday Night commercial breaks.
Finally, on the way out – and related to absolutely nothing beyond it coming across my Twitter timeline a bit ago – here's the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life:
Take us home, Bre Newcomer!
Nope. Not today. Noooooooooooooooooo thank you! I hate snakes. I'm scared to death of 'em, as Dr. Jones would say.
And, unlike the Dems, I don't care what color they are - black, red, yellow, python, garden – doesn't matter. I hope they all die. I realize that would be catastrophic for our ecosystem, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
OK, that's all for today. Good class all around! Let's allow my new QB1 – Skylar Thompson – and his fiancée, Bre Newcomer, to take us into Week 3 of the NFL season.
See you tomorrow.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You riding with Laura Trump or Timmy Walz? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.