Aaron Rodgers Might Be Anti-SPF, Kid Steals A Forklift, It's Time To Decorate For Christmas & Joe Explains How To Get Drunk On A Plane

Happy Tuesday, Nightcaps family!

I hope you all had an amazing Thanksgiving and are slowly but surely emerging from your hangovers and food comas.

I had a killer holiday week relaxing in Daytona Beach at my mother-in-law's. I watched all the football, drank all the wine and ate enough food to keep me alive for the next several months.

Of course, I also carried on my age-old family tradition of cheap mimosas during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Although I have to admit: sipping bubbly while lounging in a beachfront hotel room is way better than sipping bubbly while peeling potatoes in my grandma's dining room.

No offense to my grandma. Or her dining room.

But the party's over, and I'm heading back to reality in Murfreesboro, Tenn. As we speak, I'm writing to you from my mobile office — a.k.a. the passenger seat of my GMC Terrain.

Shoutout to my husband for taking the 10-hour drive on the chin.

But for those of you who aren't stuck in a moving vehicle, it's just about beer 30.

Grab a couple cold ones and settle in. It's Nightcaps time!

Time To Decorate For Christmas!

It's the most wonderful time of the year — and I don't mean College Football Bowl Week.

Side note: Am I the only person who remembers that commercial? I searched all of Google, and I couldn't find it ANYWHERE. Was it a fever dream? I swear it existed.

Anyway, Thanksgiving is over and December starts on Friday. So you Scrooges have no reason to gripe about how it's ToO eArLy To DeCoRaTe FoR cHrIsTmAs.

I'm off work tomorrow and the first thing I'm doing is pulling all the decorations down from the attic. Gonna have my home looking like a winter wonderland!

I'm very particular about Christmas decorations, too. I'm a traditionalist. And I will die on the hill that Christmas decorations should be Christmas colors: red, green, silver, gold. That's it. No pink and purple blue, or neon rainbows.

Like this. This is an abomination.

Say a quick prayer for that guy.

I also insist on a real Christmas tree. No artificial, plastic-scented conifers allowed in my house.

And I may get some hate for this, but those tacky inflatable yard ornaments have got to go. They are an eyesore. Classic lights and front door wreaths are perfect.

Or you can go all out like Kim Kardashian.

If I'm being honest, I actually don't do any outdoor decorations. Mostly because I don't have a $60 million mansion and a bunch of servants like Kim K does. I have only a husband who would rather not spend his weekend untangling strands of lights on a ladder.

I don't blame him.

Besides, I'm not decorating for the neighbors. I'm decorating to improve the ambiance in my home office and to feel festive while I watch my football team crumble in the playoff hunt. (But not this year! Be kind to me, Miami Dolphins.)

If you do need a smart way to decorate without a ladder, though, this dad has it figured out.

Proof that wine makes you smarter.

All that said, I'm curious to get your opinion on holiday decor. Do you go all out or just opt for the bare minimum? Fake trees or real trees? Red and green or all the colors?

Send your thoughts and pictures of your Christmas displays to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com!

Speaking of emails, let's open up the mailbag.

Joe Is Here To Save Your Next Flight

Last week, I discussed the nightmares of holiday travel. I reminded y'all that while it's perfectly legal to bring airplane bottles of booze through security, you (legally) aren't allowed to mix up your own cocktails on the plane. And I foolishly suggested you could tote your booze in a Yeti cup.

So Joe from Texas is here to explain the proper way to fly with booze. It's a long email, but it's a masterclass.

Ma'am, you are wrong. Yetis are not the way to go on a plane for booze. They're bulky as hell, and you’re probably filling them with $26 vodka tonics from the terminal. As someone that has flown coach to five continents in a single calendar year, there is a recipe for success I've learned. This doesn’t work well for beer aficionados, but I suppose someone could pour themselves a Trappist ale before security. 

Your carry on bag of liquids needs to be filled with the most compact mini bottles of vodka (or gin) you can find before you hit the airport. You don't need toothpaste in your carryon, that's $2 after you land. Then, you pack an empty water bottle through security. It's usually safer to put the liquor into the water bottle before you board, just in case you're seated near a fun buster. Technically, you didn't serve yourself on the plane, you served yourself before boarding. 

You can also pre-game before security however you like, just don't do it within view of the counters of whatever airline you're flying. Bring whatever you want, and check in. Toss whatever doesn't fit into the carry on baggie in the trash before security. There's always a coffee shop in the departure check in area, just buy a cup of ice from them. The party is started for 5% of what you would blow getting a drink post security. Domestically, just know you are not picking up a rental car at your destination using my patented techniques. Do not put carbonated products in your water bottle/canteen bag, just ask for a can of tonic/soda with ice from the FA when they start service. 

While Thanksgiving is almost certainly mostly domestic travel, it's far easier to equip yourself for turbulence anxiety prevention on international flights, particularly if you have lounge access.  Texas won't let you pour your own booze in a lounge, but that is certainly not the case outside of North America. You can feel free to top up whatever collapsible canteen or water bottle you want with your spirit of choice (I would stick to clear ones) in the lounge and "hydrate" yourself at regular intervals on misery filled 12 hours flights out of South Africa, etc. I don't think most of the FAs are idiots, but if you're not causing an issue, I don't think they want to notice what they know you're doing.

Aaron Rodgers Doesn't Believe in Sunscreen?

We know Aaron Rodgers is not down with the COVID vaccine, but is he anti-SPF, too?

The four-time NFL MVP recently liked a tweet from former NFL tackle Russell Okung — suggesting the need for sunscreen is just corporate propaganda to "make the masses believe the sun is bad for them."

I know Okung is naturally a little tanner than I am, but clearly he's never experienced a sunburn.

Ever take a hot shower after a long day at the beach when you forgot to re-apply? As soon as the water hits your back it's like being doused in the eternal flames of hell.

Surely he doesn't mean you just shouldn't protect yourself from the sun at all, does he?

OK, he does. I know we all need Vitamin D, but I'm going to respectfully disagree on this whole anti-SPF thing.

But if anyone wants to make me a motivational poster that says, "Don't sunblock your blessings," I'll hang it in my office.

If Aaron and Russell aren't into sunscreen, though, maybe they should try beer tanning?

Waste of a perfectly good six-pack, IMO.

Brad Has Thoughts On Aaron Rodgers

Look, I'm with Aaron on the COVID jab. But I'm not sure scorching your skin to oblivion is the right way to stick it to Big Pharma.

And Brad tells me he thinks Aaron Rodgers' crusade against Pfizer is all a gimmick.

I am a firm believer that Rodgers is a joke in many ways when it comes to anything. I have no idea if he could come back or not, but I 100% believe he loves the attention from everyone.

I don't deny his greatness as a QB but he isn't Tom Brady, Joe Montana, John Elway, and so on! This is his way of staying in the spotlight....

My opinion, and I couldn't care less for his opinions on Covid, or Travis Kelce!

Amber:

Brad, I'll take that a step further and say I couldn't care less about ANYONE'S opinion on Travis Kelce.

I actually like Rodgers, but I agree he is trying to build a brand as a health expert. To some extent, Tom Brady did the same thing with The TB12 Method.

Read Dan Zaksheske's piece about that from earlier this month.

And while I wouldn't pick either one of them to perform my open heart surgery, I do value their health and fitness advice a little more than these people's.

Michigan Kid Takes Forklift For Joyride

A 12-year-old kid earned instant legend status over the weekend when he stole a forklift and instigated an hour-long police chase through the streets of Ann Arbor.

Around 6:45 p.m. Saturday, police were dispatched to Forsythe Middle School on reports of a juvenile trying to steal a construction vehicle. Probably because everyone in town was distracted by beating Ohio State.

The boy only drove 15-20 miles per hour, but police couldn't cut him off from the front for fear of being forklifted. He reportedly hit 10 parked cars during the pursuit.

Fortunately, no one was hurt, and he didn't plow through any drunk Wolverines fans screaming "Free Harbaugh" in the streets.

Police said the stolen vehicle (a Genie GTH-636 Telehandler, in case you were wondering) was left unlocked at the middle school with the key hidden inside.

So it sounds like someone at the construction company learned a valuable lesson that day.

Womansplaining Is Live!

I promise this will be the last time I shamelessly promote my new column in Nightcaps, but last week was a holiday week, so I want to make sure y'all didn't miss it.

We've launched "Womansplaining" — a Friday column where I'll answer your emails, give you some of my tried and true knowledge about lady folk, make fun of influencers and celebrity couples, you name it.

The first edition went out on Black Friday:

We're off to a solid start, and I got a ton of feedback from last week. But I want to hear from you!

Email me (Amber.Harding@OutKick.com) your thoughts, questions, dating fails, dating successes, gripes about the opposite sex, whatever. Anything goes. Consider me your "Dear Abby" …but way more fun.

Stuff That Made Me LOL

This is obviously an old video because Stefon Diggs was still a Minnesota Viking. But it recently resurfaced, and it's incredible.

The most literal use of this meme.

Imagine a Middle-Eart version of AOC crying at the border wall.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.