As they say in Mexico, if you stay in a cockfight long enough, you’re bound to win one. Let’s just say, I’ve managed to stay in this cockfight long enough. It’s officially mid-September and I’m still on the plus side of the ledger, which is something I haven’t been able to say since 2014 when betting against Jay Cutler and the Bears was safer than buying government backed Treasury Bills.
After a handsome weekend at the betting window thanks to that butt-chinned fuck Bill O’Brien and the decaying corpse of Tom Brady, I took home a stack of cash that would make a heroin dealer blush. The NFL is back and so am I.
Let’s. Keep. Firing.
And if you don’t already have a FanDuel account, get one now.
We’ve got the US Open this week (all the odds are on FanDuel) and judging by the overreaction from golf Twitter’s simpiest of simp blue checks, we’re in for a doozy of a major championship. The greens look extremely greasy and the rough reminds me of my 2nd wife Brandi’s early 90’s thatch. Bryson DeChambeau says he’s gonna be bombing driver all week. Good luck, my friend. Good luck.
Winged Foot is not for the faint of heart, in golf or in gambling. Let’s get to this week’s picks…
Picks to Win
Xander Schauffele (+1400)
Collin Morikawa (+1800)
Webb Simpson (+2800)
Patrick Reed (+3400)
Top Five (Finish)
Jon Rahm (+210)
Dustin Johnson (+185)
Daniel Berger (+600)
Justin Thomas (+300)
Tommy Fleetwood (+650)
Bengals (+5.5) at Browns
Thursday night gives us current bust (Baker Mayfield) vs future bust (Joe Burrow) in the battle for Ohio. Both fan bases will be yearning for the days of Tim Couch and Akili Smith by the end of this one. Cincinnati controls the clock and Mayfield throws a bonehead pick late. Take the Bengals and the points.
Chiefs (-8.5) at Chargers
The Chargers will make their home debut at SoFi Stadium in front of zero fans, which would have been the case regardless of a global pandemic or Gavin Newsome being a gigantic pussy. Andy Reid is 27-3 against the AFC West in the last five seasons and 19-8 against the number. Andy Reid vs. the AFC West is always free money. Tyreek Hill goes nuts, Chiefs win in a laugher.
Pats (+4) at Seahawks
The only mystery in this one will be the outfit Cam Newton wears to the podium after the game. This is an over-hyped New England team flying cross-country to meet a Russell Wilson led squad that’s clicking on all cylinders. This could get ugly. Although a crowd would be nice, I still like the Hawks by double digits.
Good luck and make some wagers that are out of your comfort zone.
Again, if you don’t already have a FanDuel account, get one now.