Cowboys DC Mike Nolan Accidentally Scrubs Hot Sauce In His Eye On Conference Call With The Media

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The Dallas Cowboys are in the middle of maybe the most disappointing season they’ve ever had. Cowboys defensive coordinator Mike Nolan made this joke of a season even more laughable by accidentally rubbing Tabasco in his eye on conference call with the media. A true microcosm of the Dallas Cowboys 2020 season that can’t end soon enough.

We’ve all been there with L’Oréal shampoo, but not while people ever needed to hear from us. This is would happen to no other franchise other than the Cowboys. A moment straight out of The Three Stooges or Dumb And Dumber.

Nolan returned with comment on the incident.

“My eye feels a lot better. …But it was burning,” Nolan said after returning t the call. Classic for a Cowboys staffer to be using valuable media time to address something that has nothing to do with winning football games. Very little can explain a 2-5 Cowboys record like your defensive coordinator losing a fight to a glass of Tabasco.

Some footage of Mike Nolan scrubbing hot sauce in his eye ball would make for awesome content to juice up our Monday. If we get our hands on that, we’ll be sure to share.

Written by Gary Sheffield, Jr

Gary Sheffield Jr is the son of should-be MLB Hall of Famer, Gary Sheffield. He covers basketball and baseball for, chats with the Purple and Gold faithful on LakersNation, and shitposts on Twitter. You can follow him at GarySheffieldJr


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  1. Let me tell you another thing you never want in your eye. Crest toothpaste. I once catapulted a fragment into my eye while scraping the last bit off the end of the tube with my toothbrush. Wow. If you’re ever short on mace, might I recommend toothpaste as a worthy substitute? Surprisingly minty-fresh AGONY.

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