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Leave it to the alleged Chinese social media spy app TikTok to turn cottage cheese ice cream into all the rage right now in the United States.
According to social media analysts, TikTokers are taking cottage cheese and whipping it into ice cream and even mixing in sliced fruit, syrups, peanut butter, chocolate chips, nuts, graham crackers, granola, and all sorts of other ingredients. And now this cottage cheese ice cream craze is one of the top Google Trends in the United States.
“I still can’t get over this healthy ice cream hack that has almost 60 grams of protein,” one TikToker, @lainiecooks, brags in a video that has been consumed 1.2 million times. Lainie simply dumps cottage cheese into a blender, adds maple syrup and strawberries and uses a mixing tool to whip up a bowl of ice cream.
She calls it strawberry cheesecake ice cream.
“Cottage cheese is the new cauliflower,” one of Lainie’s followers says in reference to how cauliflower became all the rage once people realized they could mash it up and turn it into a pizza crust.
Yeah, but what about the flavor. Is it still cottage cheese even after you’ve whipped it with ingredients?
“(I)ts frozen cottage chese of course it does (dead emoji),” one person replied.
So why don’t we just eat ice cream because it tastes like ice cream. The average American eats 20 pounds of ice cream each year. Let’s not try to reinvent the wheel here, people.
But this is TikTok and you’re not cool unless you’re taking part in the latest craze.
“Cottage cheese literally will taste like anything u mix it with,” a mixologist named Skylah claims.
Meanwhile, a user who goes by L.A.S.E. says “It’s amazing. Best and easiest recipe I’ve come across.”
Now there are people complaining about how this TikTok trend has caused cottage cheese to sell out in their grocery stores and with summer coming up things could get real ugly for the cottage cheese supply chain.
This stuff is trending with “Yellowstone.”
You combine the power of TikTokers who don’t want to miss out on a TikTok trend, the power of going viral, a record heat wave across much of the United States and the power of ice cream and you have all the makings of a crazy 2-3 day stretch for cottage cheese.
Bud Light and Nike are out. Cottage cheese ice cream is in.
Let’s be honest here, what we have here are people who want to show up to a party and brag about how they’ve made cottage cheese ice cream and tell their girlfriends….this stuff is, like, sooooooooo good.
That’s all this is. Social resume points like they’re playing Super Mario Bros. and punching coin blocks. Every time they take part in a TikTok hack, it’s like Mario collecting coins in his treasure chest.
Then Bianca can go to her Friday night get-togethers and have this as a conversation starter.
OMG, have you guys tried cottage cheese ice cream? It’s sooooooo good. YUM!
Guys, if your girlfriend is currently living this life, I have to suggest moving on. She’s either going to turn you into an insufferable asshole and/or she’s going to end up with half your 401k, alimony, the house and lake house, and your lawnmowers.