CoronaBros Will Be Resurfacing Soon As New COVID Strain Hits US

The first U.S. case of a COVID-19 variant that was first seen in Britain has now been found in Colorado, according to governor Jared Polis.

The CoronaBros couldn’t be more excited, as they now a have new hope to shut local businesses down for good.

Gov. Polis released a statement via Twitter.

“There is a lot we don’t know about this new COVID-19 variant,” he wrote. “But scientists in the United Kingdom are warning the world that it is significantly more contagious. The health and safety of Coloradans is our top priority and we will closely monitor this case, as well as all COVID-19 indicators.”

“We are working to prevent spread and contain the virus at all levels.”

A late Christmas present for COVID enthusiasts to beg for more government control and further restrictions. Any time a statement from government says “your safety is a top priority”, that means they intend to make decisions on your behalf. State governors in suits will begin taking action to protect you from yourself. They don’t think we’re capable of making those choices ourselves.

This was always the plan

As soon as capable Americans started realizing that flu cases have disappeared and this whole thing might be a scam– a new much more dangerous strain appears out of thin air. Suddenly, science huggers can race back to their anonymous Twitter profiles and shout down anyone protecting the freedoms of small business owners.

We’re nearing the breaking point where our people fight back from total control, so brace yourselves. It’s about to get ugly.

Written by Gary Sheffield, Jr

Gary Sheffield Jr is the son of should-be MLB Hall of Famer, Gary Sheffield. He covers basketball and baseball for, chats with the Purple and Gold faithful on LakersNation, and shitposts on Twitter. You can follow him at GarySheffieldJr


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  1. Is new strain more deadly?

    Who cares what the dumbest sheep in the history of mankind say?

    They have been wrong 99.99% of the time, which is a higher % than the mortality rate of the virus that has allowed tyrannical government elites to destroy economies, livelihoods, public health, and mental and physical health of perfectly healthy human beings.

    They all can kiss my ass, I will not be hoaxed with panic porn anymore.

  2. I mean these medical tyrants and governors (of which the CO one is a homosexual) are the definition of gaslighting.

    I saw the same thing about how the flu has basically been cured since Covid came about. My biggest hope is that these liars do get the proper justice handed down to them.

  3. This is why I never understood anybody saying fauxvid would disappear after the election. It’s all about control, and a large chunk of the world’s population has proven that they are mere sheep who will obey whatever anything any tyrant says, no matter what civil liberties they’re supposed to have.

  4. You beat me to the punch on the flu. How can it be that the flu suddenly has disappeared from the Earth in 2020? It appears Covid is far more deadly to the flu virus, virtually eradicating it, than it is to humans.

  5. I heard it from my doctor yesterday. They are going to continue wearing masks after the vaccine is deployed, so you can bet your ass I won’t be able to walk in there without a mask, either. This is not going away. The politicization of the “pandemic,” coupled with a war on science and free speech, will be used to keep and maintain power. Add Biden to the mix, and it has the potential to be holy hell.

  6. Gary, I enjoy reading your articles here on Outkick. Keep up the good work. I’m assuming all the strands of Covid originated in China. At least the most widespread version did. My question is anybody…the US, The United Nations, UK…anybody going to hold China accountable? Is anybody within China holding anyone at the labs or research centers where this thing got started accountable?

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