Coors Light’s New Non-Alcoholic Popsicles Completely Defeat The Purpose

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If you’re already all worked up about your NCAA Tournament bracket, Coors Light wants you to chill.

The Molson-Coors Beverage Company announced Tuesday it would be releasing a new, limited edition product: the “Coors-icle.”

Coors Light popsicles, according to the company, are “freezer icies that help you stay chill when the games get heated.”

Coors Light Releases Beer-Flavored Popsicles For March Madness
Credit: Coors Light

Honestly, I could get down with a beer-flavored popsicle. But there’s only one problem: They are non-alcoholic. So you might as well serve them up with cauliflower pizza and a vegan cheeseburger.

Still, the Coors-icle is still intended for consumers who are 21 and older.

And Coors Light even hired legendary broadcaster Dick Vitale as an ambassador. Check out this commercial where Dickie V makes everyone feel better about their basketball teams by handing them a refreshing, beer popsicle.

Although if you’re a Vols fan like me, you probably need an actual beer. Or 6.

The popsicles will be on sale for a limited time to celebrate the NCAA Tournament. The Coors-icles — sold in six-packs — will be released every weekday through March 24 while supplies last.

They’ll also be available at more than 800 bars across the country during the tournament.

For the sake of journalism, I was going to order some and review them in Tuesday’s Nightcaps. But after I saw they were $20 plus tax and $11 shipping, I think I might just freeze my own beers.

Written by Amber Harding

Amber is a Midwestern transplant living in Murfreesboro, TN. She spends most of her time taking pictures of her dog, explaining why real-life situations are exactly like "this one time on South Park," and being disappointed by the Tennessee Volunteers.

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