Hookstead's Guide To The Perfect College Football Tailgate: Beer, Music And Women

College football will be played this upcoming Saturday, and that means it's time to start preparing our tailgate plans.

I found myself cruising the internet this morning after a few days at the Hookstead compound in an undisclosed location (it's classified, don't ask), and I stumbled across a Reddit thread breaking down tailgate advice.

Luckily for all of you, I've been to a few tailgates over the years, and I have the perfect advice for anyone hoping to crush tailgate season.

Let's dive right in.

Get up early and have a plan.

Wars are won before the sun is up, gentlemen. If you want until the day has started to get going, you've already lost. You never even had a chance.

A smart man plans ahead of time. A genius plans before planning is even necessary. The video below represents the attitude you need to have when it comes to planning your tailgate.

Your truck should be packed with everything that's not perishable the night before. Waiting until the morning to pack shortly before departure is asking for disaster.

Have the beer, food, ice and anything else that needs to remain cold ready to rock and roll. You shouldn't waste one second looking for it in the fridge. It should be stacked up so that once orders start getting shouted, it can be packed into coolers within a few seconds.

Quick note on coolers. Do yourself a solid and get a rotomolded cooler. I have several. They're worth it, especially in hot temps. Canyon and Orca are the two best in my opinion, but Yeti and RTIC or any other brand will get the job done.

Here are three of mine that I like to use. The bottom is the Canyon 55 and it's a beast. Perfect for football season.

A look at some coolers I enjoy using during football season. (Credit: David Hookstead)

In closing, when it comes to preparation, get up before the sun, prepare before preparing is necessary, have the food ready to roll and make sure your cooler game is elite. It's simple, but just not easy for some.

Food at the tailgate is key.

Keep it simple, stupid. Keep it simple. If you're thinking about going fancy with your tailgate food, then you're an idiot.

Burgers, brats, chips and dip and perhaps one homemade dish is all you need. A tailgate is about vibes. It's not meant to be a five star dining experience. The goal is to eat to offset the alcohol consumption.

Don't overthink it and ABSOLUTELY NO HOT DOGS. Cooking hot dogs at a tailgate simply tells me you don't respect yourself as a man. Are we children or are we adults chasing titles? If you have children at the tailgate, they can eat burgers and brats like everyone else. No hot dogs today, no hot dogs tomorrow and no hot dogs in the future. You're better than that.

Alcohol should be treated the same as food.

I'm not coming to a tailgate to drink a martini or some other cocktail. I'm coming to drink enough light beer to either start feeling invincible or dancing with the demons in my soul. It's a tricky balance, but there's no need for fancy alcohol. Don't be a hardo.

Bring a mix of light beer, liquor and mixers and some seltzers for the women.

Make sure your tailgate has plenty of light beer. Yes, I know this photo is inside a bar, but the point remains. (Credit: David Hookstead)

I'm not going to tell you what light beers you should be drinking, but rest assured there will be no Bud Light at any Hookstead tailgates this season. That's a guarantee you can take to the bank.

On a side note, nothing beats an iced down Coors Banquet if you're at a game out west. I lived in Montana for a brief period in my life. I loved it, and I really loved crushing cold Banquets with the mountains in the distance. You simply feel like Sam Elliott.

Your tailgate crew needs to be elite.

We've covered preparation, food and alcohol so far. Now, we're going to dig into the nitty gritty. Your tailgate crew has to only be made up of great people, and it can't just be guys.

Now, many of you are probably thinking, "Hookstead, as such an alpha male, what do you mean it can't just be guys? Why not?"

Great questions. I'm here to answer them for you. An all-male tailgate is fun for about 60 minutes and then it just turns into a binge drinking contest. I've seen it play out many times before. Everyone is plastered before anyone even knows what happened. Balance exists in nature for a reason, and it needs to exist at a tailgate.

Know some single women who like college football and need a place to down some bullets (slang for cold beers) before the game? Shoot them a text. Bonus points if they rock a cowboy hat and great outfit. Helps set the tone. The kind of woman you meet at a tailgate is the kind of woman you want to marry.

Don't be afraid to invite women to your tailgate. (Credit: Getty Images)

For those of us with significant others, definitely don't be afraid to bring your wife or girlfriend. This isn't Las Vegas where I'd encourage fleeing from them. It's a tailgate, and a great group of women helps elevate things.

Now, having said that, bringing the wrong people can derail a tailgate in spectacular fashion. You don't need to be a football expert to be at a tailgate. Not at all. You simply have to be looking for a good time.

If that's not a person's vibe on a Saturday morning, then delete them from your phone. You don't want that kind of negativity in your life.

Great music is a must.

This one is simple, and about as easy as it gets. Put together an epic playlist that bleeds red, white and blue.

My music taste is all over the map. I love country, outlaw country, rock, rap and everything in-between. I'm not going to tell you what to listen to.

What I will say is a great playlist is guaranteed to give your tailgate a boost. Below are a few songs I enjoy drinking to before football games.

Keep things positive.

I often like to say a college football crowd represents the best of America. Nobody is thinking about politics when your team's running back cuts it loose up the sideline. Everyone is on the same team. Don't let your differences ruin a great tailgate. If they're down to party, then you should be too.

This also goes when it comes to fans of opposing teams. You want opposing fans to leave with a positive impression. Offer them a beer, a burger and have a fun conversation. I definitely encourage banter and trash talk, but don't take things too far during the tailgate portion of the day. Save that for the battle on the field.

I visited Ole Miss several years ago, and was treated like royalty. Salt of the Earth people. There's a story from that trip that lives on in whispers among those involved and shrouded in mystery to those who heard about it later. I might eventually share it publicly, but that day isn't today.

Point being, they were great and if Ole Miss people ever find themselves in Madison, they'll get the same treatment. Below is a photo of me down there. Yes, I realize I'm fat in the photo. It was the good old days.

Ole Miss fans treated me incredibly well. (Credit: David Hookstead)

Lastly, don't get too drunk. The goal is to get to the game and watch your team kick butt. Can't do that if you're passed out because you went a bit too hard at the tailgate. Let's review.

What are we doing:

Stick to those points and you're going to crush it. Give me your tips and tricks in the comments below.