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Did we expect El Chapo’s wife to get a banking job or get arrested on drug trafficking charges?

Monday was extremely busy around here, but late in the day, I did catch the news of El Chapo’s 31-year-old wife, Emma Coronel Aispuro, being arrested for international drug trafficking charges. There’s news that doesn’t come as a surprise, and then there’s Emma being popped for conspiracy to distribute cocaine and a buffet of other drugs. Were people really thinking Emma would just get out of the drug business once El Chapo was sent away by U.S. authorities?

Could you imagine Emma walking out of court when El Chapo was sent away for life and it popping into her head that she should go get a retail job at Macy’s working weekends and Black Friday? Or Emma going back to school to get a nursing degree and dating a guy she knew in high school who’s fresh out of a messy divorce and drives a leased 2019 Dodge Ram extended cab?

Emma should do the right thing while up on federal charges. She should offer the U.S. government a 45-part Netflix series where she details everything on the Sinaloa drug cartel for a reduced sentence and a new life in Mio, Michigan with a guy named Rick who owns a few acres. And the government should do the right thing and give us this content we’ve been yearning for all these years. I want to know about cocaine hippos (yes, those were Pablo Escobar’s hippos) or other random animals Chapo owned. I want to know about the inner workings, how Chapo ran his drugs, eliminated opponents, etc.

Give it to us, Emma!

• It’s a big morning here at the Kinsey HQ. My wife noticed a box on the front porch with an OutKick sticker. It finally arrived…my very first piece of OutKick gear is finally here — the flex fit OutKick hat that will be perfect for the golf season. Now it feels like I’m a real employee around here.

• Aaron Rodgers’ fiancée went on Jimmy Fallon’s show Monday night and acted like these two have been engaged for a long time, blah, blah, blah. Look, I’ve followed Aaron Rodgers news a long time, and I like to think I know a ‘work’ job when I see one. Call me crazy, something tells me we’re all being worked here.

• Let me take a minute to say how glorious 50 and sunny sounds for Sunday. It’s supposedly coming, and it’s going to feel like 85 in July. Looks like I have a garage day coming up. Time to sand some wood, clean out the winter mess left behind from the cars and get the juices flowing for spring. It’s officially in the air.

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Tiger Woods

Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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  2. I think that may be the start of something great, no need to keep score at NBA games, just let the fella’s jog up and down the court throwing down dunks and hoisting up 3’s. Isn’t that already a thing?

    I wonder if Bruce still cuts hair, he certainly has the shirt/bling/gait for it.

    Joe – Thank you for the curvy babe Dacia. You Sir are a true man of the people. Princeton can always use a man like Joe.

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