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The Cleveland Browns announced a new helmet for the 2023 NFL season. As part of a white alternate uniform that the team will wear during three games, players will don a white helmet. As a Penn State alumnus, I can tell you white helmets are sacred to the Nittany Lions.
Having an NFL team — particularly one in Ohio — steal that look feels like an affront. I know what you’re thinking: but Dan, I read everything you write and you celebrated the Cincinnati Bengals white helmet.
That’s true. But very different. Most importantly, something called a white bengal tiger exists in nature. They are gorgeous creatures, like nearly all cats. Paying homage to that incredible beast is quite different than the Browns nonsense.
And the Bengals noticed it, too.
The Browns are called the “Browns.” They’re not called the “Whites.” In fact, no NFL team could possibly call its team the “Whites” in today’s political climate. So that’s way off the table.
Secondly, the Browns helmet is nearly all-white. That’s much different than the Bengals helmet that has stripes down the side.
The Browns are trying to own three different colors and that’s just unfair. They already have brown, duh. Then, they took over orange. Now, they’re coming for white? What’s next, stealing the Chargers’ powder blue? The Dolphins’ aqua?
Get out of here, Browns.
The Penn State helmet is one of the best in all of football. Not just college, but NFL, high school, you name it. Stealing that is truly an attack on anyone who’s ever shouted “We are!” at a stranger on the street.
Plus, the Browns mascot is a brown bulldog. If they want to change their name to the Cleveland Dalmatians and go with a white, spotted helmet, fine.
I didn’t expect to get this angry on a Tuesday afternoon, but here we are.
Follow Dan Zaksheske on X – formerly known as Twitter: @RealDanZak