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Let me start by saying that I have much love for Tim Riggins, Taylor Kitsch, and Tim Riggins. I sincerely hope that Taylor’s career is everything he wants it to be. Seriously. I want him to do well. Unfortunately, 2012 has not been too kind to him. According to Box Office Mojo, John Carter, which had a production budget of approx. $250 million, has made $72.1 million domestically, and Battleship, which had a production budget of approx. $290 million, made $25.3 million in its opening weekend. (To be fair, both of these films have done much better internationally, with John Carter bringing in $200 million and Battleship bringing in $215 million.) I don’t blame Disney for spending so much money on John Carter. Two-plus hours of a shirtless, leather-clad Tim Riggins? Seems like a no-brainer. I also didn’t mind seeing him in uniform in the Battleship trailers. But have I seen either of these films? No. Will I watch them eventually? Probably. When? When they become TNT New Classics.
Forrest Gump. For’st won Tom Hanks an Academy Award. As a wise Robert Downey Jr. once said, “'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain’t retarded.” Surely the same formula could work for Taylor. Thanks to Riggins, Taylor has proven that he can effectively handle: a Southern accent; trouble in school; an absentee father; football glory; unwanted encounters with drug users; a bar featuring live, nude women; a friend in a wheelchair; and landing the hot chick… Basically, picture everything Forrest did the first time around, but now picture him doing it with his shirt off. Sold.