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Christmas Light Shaming Is Going On In A Minnesota Neighborhood

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Imagine you’re just going about your business at your three bedroom, two and a half bath house in Minnesota. On Friday nights, you crack open a few beers, text with your friends, maybe watch a game on the garage TV and try to unwind from another busy week at work. Saturday you do pretty much the same thing, but then out of nowhere, your wife comes barreling out of the laundry room into the garage telling you to look at the letter that was delivered earlier in the day.

You take a deep pull off the Busch Light and start reading. Here’s what it says:

“I couldn’t help but notice your Christmas lights display. During these unprecedented times we have all experienced challenges which casual words just don’t describe what we’re feeling. The idea of twinkling, colorful lights are a reminder of divisions that continue to run through our society, a reminder of systemic biases against our neighbors who don’t celebrate Christmas or who can’t afford to put up lights of their own.

“We must do the work of educating ourselves about the harmful impact an outward-facing display like yours can have. I challenge you to respect the dignity of all people while striving to learn from differences, ideas, and opinions of our neighbors. We must come together collectively and challenge these institutional inequities; St. Anthony is a community of welcoming of all people and we must demand better for ourselves.”

How are you reacting? You make the call.

Laughing at it and going back to crushing Busch Lights is the logical move here, but it feels like this letter also calls for additional lights to be added to the house. From the look of things, the owners have, like, 500 lights on the house max. This needs to be bumped up to 5,000, just to make the point and drive the poor soul (probably a blue checkmark) even crazier.

Once the lights are added, I’d get myself a patio fire pit and place it right in the middle of the driveway. Adirondack chairs. And then I’d invite over my friends for driveway beers. It would end up looking like people circled around like a picket line burn barrel.

This simple action will take care of the problem. The numbnuts of this country won’t win if this basic strategy is followed. More lights and driveway beers. Keep it simple.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

15 Comments

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  1. Write back…

    Thanks for motivating me to always put up my Christmas lights and to have all my friends do the same. In fact I am now going to donate lights to all my neighbors who will use them.

    Suck it.

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