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I’m going to keep my playoff hopes and dreams simple this season

Maxx (yes two Xs) Crosby was completely gassed. He had nothing left in his tank and all I could think of is how he would have to recharge his EV battery and face MY Bengals in the cold and miserable weather Saturday afternoon. A short week. Very little time to recharge the EV battery. Used up so much energy just to beat the Chargers.

And then I said a little prayer to the football gods. If there was ever a time for MY Bengals to get a playoff win, this would be it. Joe Burrow’s had time to heal up from the grind of the season. The offensive and defensive starters played very little against the Browns. Even the Bengals’ kicker sat out Sunday.

I don’t know if the Bengals could get any more advantages for a playoff victory to snap the NFL’s longest playoff-win drought. Even the Lions (1992) have a win since the last time Bengals fans tasted victory.

That brings me to my playoff hopes and dreams. Again, I’m keeping it very simple. Three items. After that, I’ll be perfectly fine with the outcome (as long as Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady don’t rip out my heart and stomp on it at the 50-yard-line inside SoFi Stadium).

Yes, I’m OK if Derrick Henry runs for 280 and 4 TDs on the Bengals’ defense in the second round. It would be good for business since so many of you are Titans fans and will be using our FanDuel codes throughout the playoffs.

If not now, I don’t know when it’s going to happen. The Bengals already crushed the Raiders 32-13 in Week 11. Now it’s time to make all the playoff pain created by Marvin Lewis and his band of personal foul-taking morons go away. It’s time to permanently remove the Andy Dalton shortcomings from my brain and let go of that pain once and for all.

One win. Get it and Joe Burrow gets a statue. That’s what’s on the line this week in the Jungle.

• Don’t forget, it’s national championship Monday in Indianapolis. I’ve seen zero buzz out of Indy for this game. I haven’t seen a single piece of content that has been interesting or remotely possible to turn into a post. TV viewers will still show up for tonight’s game because we’re football addicts, but we sure could use some sort of headline out of Indy today. I need a Bama fan making a scene. UGA in a sweater out cruising downtown Indy. Something.

Bama fans have won so many of these games that they’ve gotten bored with all of this. The superfans who used to be content-creating machines are bored. ‘Roll Tide’ searches are worthless. #RollTide on Instagram isn’t even close to what it used to be.

I’ll go ahead and say it, I’m missing the old days.

• Joey in Illinois writes:

Just wanted to thank you and Tim in Texas again for sharing the Gauntlet idea with Sceencaps Nation. Thought I’d provide a little update from The Glorious Glorianne Acres Gauntlet, where the outcome comes down to the final game of the season. We payout 1st and 2nd in The Glorious Gauntlet.

If Diaper Nation should win tonight, our Raiders owner completes an epic comeback with 4-0 sweeps of Weeks 17 and 18 to take 1st after being 5 down after Week 16 and the leagues’ odds-On-favorite guy hangs on by his fingernails for 2nd. Should the Sparklers win, our Chargers owner ties odds-on-favorite guy across the board and its pistol at dawn, with Raiders owner getting nothing. Should Diaper Nation and the Sparklers decide to tie and hose the Steelers, odds-on-favorite guy wins the league, Raiders owner gets 2nd, and Chargers guy gets nothing.

WHAT A LEAGUE!! ‘Hood garage beers for sure to watch this battle unfold! Thanks for all you do!

####

It’s great to hear that there was drama last night in the Gauntlet leagues. Thank you to Screencaps reader Michael J. who did a great job running the Gauntlet I joined. I was out of the money, so it was a stress-free Sunday and season. I would get updates from Michael on the standings and then I would go back to life. Honestly, it’s the perfect fantasy football for my lifestyle. Now I just need to find seven guys who are willing to do a live draft next season. I want to feel that excitement.

• Jon DeV. was all over the chili bar idea I mentioned Saturday morning:

For gods sake don’t forget some nice big baked potatoes on the Chili Bar.Nothing beats a chili baked potato with all the sides.  Cheddar, onion, bacon bits, jalapeños.  Mouth watering just thinking about it.

####

Jon will be happy to know last night was chili bar baked potato night. Freshly shredded cheddar, jalapenos, sour cream, butter, onions, chili running off the plates. Back-to-back chili nights and Week 18 of the NFL. It doesn’t get much better than that.

• Bill L. had a ‘Do Hard Things’ weekend. This is going to bring a tear to ‘Do Hard Things’ founder Indy Daryl’s eye. Remember, it’s not the size of the ‘Do Hard Things,’ it’s the battle against yourself and embracing the challenge. To some, installing new blinds might seem like a minor battle that is ridiculous. To Bill L., this was him bettering his life and it was a challenge. Good for him and his wife.

Bill L. writes:

Appreciate your content and the advice/pointers from your other readers. I’ve never considered myself a handy person, but I’m starting small with this project (see attached pictures). My wife ordered new blinds for our kitchen and living room, and Saturday morning I decided to tackle them.

Surprisingly, once I got the old blinds down (that involved cursing), the new ones went up with relative ease. And I didn’t fall backwards down the stairs when installing the last set, so there’s no need for my wife to cash in my life insurance. I’m sure you have other readers like myself. Just let them know to start small, expect some mistakes and cursing, and keep plugging away. If i can do this, they can too. I even got a thanks from my wife for doing it without her asking me about it. So that’s a win. 

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and the upcoming playoffs. Your Bengals looking like they have a bright future ahead. 

• Chris B. in Texas wants you to know what A&M boosters were willing to pay to land the No. 1 class via NIL deals. I’m all for this and the chaos it will cause if A&M fails to win after boosters spent all this money. They’re just unpaid college football players, leave them alone is officially out the window. Boosters want wins and championships. Anything less and you’re going to have fireworks. And it’s going to be beautiful.

• And that should do it for this morning. Let’s digest these NFL brackets. Enjoy the national championship game and stay warm out there. Get your chili bar in order for next weekend. I haven’t determined what my next weekend food plan looks like. It’s time to brainstorm.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

3 Comments

Leave a Reply
  1. Hollywood royalty? C’mon Joe Buck. Judd Apatow is a left wing self hating Jew, along with Stiller, Reiner and a few others. They put down conservatives, Republicans, and anyone who voted for Trump. They’re all punk ass bitches. They’re tough guys on Twitter but you know they would run from any physical confrontation like the pussies they are. Leslie Mann was hot and is only with fat, soft Apatow because he’s rich and can put her in his shit movies.

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