Every time I think the SEC can’t get more ridiculous, it does.
Last week Busted Coverage — a very entertaining site in its own right — had the story of a hot Nashville-area hairstylist who cut Bo Wallace’s hair. A bunch of you Tweeted me the link and of course I clicked on Marissa Martin’s pictures and thought, “Okay, that’s a hot chick who cuts hair.” Then I thought, should I put her up on Outkick? Can someone outkick the coverage with their hairstylist? I mean, you pick your hairstylist to cut your hair so the answer has to be no. After all we’ve had lots of wives or girlfriends on Outkick — as well as Kliff Kingsbury shirtless — which was more popular than all of the wives or girlfriends we’ve had on the site, but we’ve never had a hot hairstylist who cuts an SEC quarterback’s hair.
So I was debating whether to write about this but then I got distracted and decided not to put Marissa Martin’s picture up. It happens. I know this will shock all of you, my mom in particular, but I’m not perfect.
So you can imagine when I logged onto my email a few minutes ago and found this from a reader named Jim:
“Clay, I don’t know if I can trust you anymore. Have you seen the girl who cut Bo Wallace’s hair? I can only assume you haven’t. Because if you have and you didn’t share her story with Outkick readers, Outkick needs to fire you.”
He then provided a link to an updated story.
“He was very, very nervous to have it cut short,” Martin said in a telephone interview Thursday with The Clarion-Ledger. “He was known for long hair and he knew going into this season – a big season for him – he wanted something more professional. He loved the haircut.”
“Ever since then we’ve kept it short as it is now,” she said. “We went to a medium length like we’ve done the past couple of times, short on the sides and long on the top and in the back. He’s rocking the haircut shorter than the photo on the (Busted Coverage) blog.”
I just, I don’t know what to say. I’ve failed all of you. How did a Mississippi newspaper think to interview a hot hairstylist about cutting a quarterback’s hair and I didn’t? Honestly, I’m staring in the mirror right now not even sure I recognize the face staring back at me.
Marissa Martin cuts hair in Franklin, Tennessee, which, if you aren’t familiar with Franklin, is the city with the most hot women over thirty in the history of the universe. I actually don’t think there’s an ugly woman in the city limits. They don’t allow them. If you try to enter the city of Franklin and you’re ugly they make you move to Boston.
Anyway, if you’re the kind of guy who likes to look at pictures of hot girls you don’t know on the Internet — and I’m sure none of you are that kind of guy but I’m just saying — you can find Marissa on Twitter here.
I’m going to go fire myself and lay by the pool for the rest of the day. Please accept my deepest apologies for failing all of you.