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Bill Cosby’s Defending R. Kelly…It Takes One To Know One

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Bill Cosby must’ve taken a swig of his own Spanish fly-laced cocktail, because he’s clearly not thinking straight. The comedian-turned-sexual assaulter spent the early portion of his week defending singer R. Kelly, who was convicted last week of numerous counts of sexual abuse towards women and children.

“He was screwed,” Cosby’s spokesperson told the New York Post.

Cosby, 84, is either becoming senile or is drunk off Jell-o because he somehow thinks that R. Kelly, the “water sports” fanatic (don’t Google it), was wronged by the system and his legal team.

“The deck was stacked against Robert,” said Cosby spokesperson Andrew Wyatt. “His constitutional rights were grossly abused. I don’t know anywhere but in this country in the United States that a documentary can bring criminal charges against someone.”

Cosby was referencing Surviving R. Kelly, a two-season documentary which details sexual abuse allegations surrounding Kelly.

“No one fought hard for him,” added Wyatt, via the New York Post. “And his attorneys didn’t ‘humanize’ him. He also didn’t have the resources and means, he should have asked for support from the court. He would have gotten better representation.”

Maybe Cosby has a point. Had his group of attorneys found a way to consult with the same district attorney Cosby did before he was arrested, Kelly could be whizzing on teenagers rather than his cellmate.

Instead, Kelly was convicted and faces 10 years to life in prison.

You can’t help but read these quotes and feel an odd kinship between Cosby and Kelly — probably because they were both once popular entertainers who sexually abused women and young girls on the side.

Sentencing for Kelly is set for May of 2022.

Written by Anthony Farris

Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival.

Follow him on twitter @OhioAF

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