Bigger The Nose, Bigger The Penis, According To New Study

Just when you thought you'd seen it all out of the scientific community, along comes word from researchers that there's a correlation between big noses and big penises. I'm right there with you guys. Why don't these researchers find a cure for cancer with their free time? Hey researchers at Kyoto Prefectural University of Medicine, how about solving a cure for the common hangover or something else useful?

According to an article in the Basic and Clinical Andrology medical journal, the Kyoto researchers analyzed 126 corpses in their 30s to 50s and took various measurements, including "stretched penile length" and nose measurements. BOOM, correlations for days. Big nose, big dong, especially in Japanese cadavers.

The study concluded: "The fact that nose size is related to SPL (stretched penile length) indicates that penile length may not be determined by age, height or body weight but has already been determined before birth."

Now, I know you guys pretty well, so I know you're going to get the yardstick out. The researchers used the following method to get true nose size. "Nose size was defined as the longer distance between the midpoint of the left and right medial ocular angles and the outside of the left or right nose wings (indicated by arrow)," the study states.

Now that you have your nose measurement, let's get down to what the numbers tell researchers.

The study found that men sporting 2.2 inch honkers were packing an average of 5.3 inch dongs. I'm no expert, but the experts in this field claim this is all a correlation. Personally, I'm never looking my friends in the face again. Staring straight at their hairlines.

Those with honkers in the 1.8 inch range are sporting 4.1 inches in the dong category.

Just sayin'. Just the facts, according to this study. Results might vary out there.

Greg Norman: Big nose. Just sayin'.

(Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)