Bengals Will Allow 6,000 Fans For Game Against Jaguars

Adam Schefter tweeted earlier this month that the Cincinnati Bengals will allow fans for their home game with the Jaguars. Now that the game draws near, all the protocols were released and it’s starting to feel like sports again.

COVID protocols are beginning to come across the same way as McDonald’s “caution this coffee is hot” warning. Sports teams are basically saying here is what we’re doing to protect you so you don’t sue us, but we know you won’t follow these rules.

“Fans must stay six-feet socially distanced to other parties, including in the stands, walking the concourse, going to the restroom and concessions.”

When was the last time any male sports fan managed to take a whiz further than arm’s-length from a stranger? These protocols are designed to remove all responsibilities from the team and onto the fans. Luckily for real sports fans, we’ve been calling for allowing fans into stadiums at their own discretion anyway!

Mandatory face coverings?

“Face coverings are mandatory at all times, except while actively eating or drinking.”

Some intern actually took the time to write this in their protocol that will NEVER be applicable to fans in attendance. Again, the Bengals know fans would rather hold their $10 soda close by, rather than wearing a mask for two hours. Even though plenty of us aren’t afraid of COVID, pretending to follow the rules is part of how we get back to normalcy.

Opening up the stands in Cincinnati is only the first step to filling stadiums and arenas to capacity. Pretending to bend the knee to caution to eventually rip the Band-Aid off is the play NFL teams are using.

Our thoughts and prayers are going to be with Generation X as they attempt to figure out their phones for the Apple Pay system at concession stands. It’s going to take us a year to get some chicken tenders with these protocols in place, but this will all be worth it next year.

Written by Gary Sheffield, Jr

Gary Sheffield Jr is the son of should-be MLB Hall of Famer, Gary Sheffield. He covers basketball and baseball for OutKick.com, chats with the Purple and Gold faithful on LakersNation, and shitposts on Twitter. You can follow him at GarySheffieldJr

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