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Vanderbilt quarterback Jordan Rodgers, younger brother of Green Bay Packer Aaron, led the Commodores to a bowl berth last season and attended SEC Media Days yesterday.
This year he is hoping to become the first ever Vanderbilt quarterback to start in two bowl games. He’s confident, smart, fearless, and … hairless.
Also, very patriotic.
These are among the deductions we can make thanks to the Twitter profile picture which Rodgers displays to the world here.
Vandy may never be featured in OKTC’s awkward fan edition, but the Commodores have just thrown the anchor down when it comes to awkward quarterback photos. I’m not sure we’ll ever top this one.
So let’s dive in with our first ever awkward quarterback photo. (Edit, I forgot about Jay Cutler’s turn on the OKTC stage. This is actually our second awkward quarterback photo, and both have starred former Vandy quarterbacks).
Here are 13 things we notice from this photo.
1. Matthew McConaughey has a new favorite SEC quarterback.
Magic Mike meet Jocular Jordan.
2. Armpit hair will not constrict the throwing motion of Vandy’s quarterback this year.
This is important.
In fact, it’s the reason Rodgers replaced Larry Smith last season
3. He’s patriotic.
Some of y’all might have thought that Vandy’s quarterback hated America.
He’s eliminated that thought with tasteful crotch-hugging American flag board shorts.
4. Someone else took this photo.
I hope it wasn’t Zac Stacy. Or any other man for that matter. Can you imagine snapping this photo?
Okay, okay, I confess, I took the photo. (Insert “your gay” joke here).
5. A.J. McCarron doesn’t want abs because they would distract from his awesome chest tattoo.
6. He can wear a baseball cap and still allow you to see his hair.
This is an incredibly underrated ability.
In fact, it’s like 90% of the admissions requirement at the University of Alabama.
7. Tyler Bray saw the abs in this picture, turned around, pointed to his back and said, “Scoreboard, bro.”
8. He thought, what picture do I want to share with the world on Twitter?
And then he picked this one.
9. He has a closet full of skinny jeans.
Because if your bathing suit is this tight, you’re not wearing loose pants.
10. Kristen Saban vs Jordan Rodgers, who ya got?
This is a toss-up.
In fact, can you imagine Nick Saban’s reaction if he saw this photo? God, I wish Nick Saban would guest analyze an awkward photo sometime on OKTC. He would eviscerate someone.
11. He regularly stands in front of the mirror with a razor and shaves his stomach.
With Vanderbilt’s football luck Rodgers will get an infected stomach hair follicle that requires emergency surgery the night before the South Carolina game.
12. Jay Cutler saw this picture and thought, “What a douchebag.”
Then he put on his sweatpants and took his toy Yorkie for a walk.
13. Right now there is a boy band that is crying out for its lead singer.
And Jordan Rodgers is there to answer that call.
In tight American flag shorts.
Welcome to Day 2 of SEC Media Days