Clay Travis
Videos by OutKick
Kentucky basketball and Alabama football fans consistently do the most ridiculous things.
That’s because the two fandoms are mirror images of each other.
Back in April we brough you the Bama fan who was married standing outside the spring game in a Stabler jersey, jean shorts, and a houndstooth hat.
Now, via Kentucky Sports Radio — who received this picture direct from the proud couple — we bring you the Kentucky man who was married in a basketball jersey.
This UK fan is just a comedy pyramid.
How do I love this awkward fan photo? Let me count the 13 ways.
1. The neck tattoo.
Nothing says true love more than a tasteful neck tattoo that is always visible to everyone.
2. He’s wearing a white t-shirt underneath the jersey.
Because just wearing the jersey wouldn’t have been dressy enough.
3. The fact that the red chinstrap beard does not connect to his actual hair.
For some reason this UK fan has decided to shave the sides of his head closer than all other parts of hsi haircut.
As a result his chinstrap beard — which is like wearing a billboard that says, “I flunked the GED,” — connects to nothing.
4. He went with the white jersey for his home wedding.
Guys, it’s a home wedding. Everyone knows you go white for the home wedding.
Even Brandon Knight’s like, “Dude, you wore my jersey to your wedding?”
Meanwhile, former number 12, Darren Feldhaus, just nodded and said, “The Haus is always open, baby.”
5. Yet the “groomsmen” wore the blue uniforms for the road game.
That’s pure class and thematically consistent.
Also, strong move by grumpy groomsmen in the #22 jersey. He went with Alex Poythress. Presumably before the season started since once the season began Poythress sucked. Either that or dad passed down his Patrick Sparks jersey when he traded up for the Brandon Knight jersey.
6. There is some sort of championship trophy on the wall.
Best guess?
Waffle House employee of the month.
That or they give trophies when your parole is granted.
7. It appears the groom is also wearing game shorts.
Yes, he went full Kentucky basketball uniform for his wedding.
I just…
8. Rather than order flowers for the wedding, the bride can just raise her right arm, which is covered in a beautiful sleeve of writhing roses.
If you’re a past or present bride and you’re thinking, why would you get roses tattooed on your arm?, you just aren’t that smart.
Do you know what roses for your wedding day cost at Wal Mart? Like $14!
Take it away bride: “Hey you snotty bitches, do you know how much diet Mountain Dew you can buy at Wal Mart for $14? I ain’t stupid.”
9. The bride is wearing either a denim skirt or jeans to her wedding.
Either way, this is actually the classiest item of clothing anyone is wearing to the wedding.
10. Number of total marriages that this duo has previously been involved in?
I’m going with an over/under of 4.5.
You going over or under?
11. The “Big Blue Wedding” annotation on this picture.
Otherwise we would have had no clue what the theme of the wedding was.
12. Odds that this guy would let his wife sleep with a UK basketball recruit to seal the recruiting deal?
100%.
13. Odds that this guy would rather watch Jeff Shepherd consummate his marriage than actually consummate his marriage himself?
Also, 100%
…
Update: the UK fan couple have taken to Facebook to attack the “haters” of their wedding.
The groom’s best response to a hater? “Really a mexican on here talking trash; usa usa usa”
