Why are Alabama fans so crazy and dumb?
Because there are so many crazy and dumb fans in Alabama.
In order to stand out, you have to step well across the line. How so? By posing with your family in Bama gear and using your youngest child as a football.
And, once more, thanks to Bama fans for continuing to dominate our awkward fan photo series.
Seriously, the only thing more dominant than your football team is the awkwardness of your fans.
How do I love this photo?
Let me count the ways:
1. The baby is a football.
Of course she is.
This is Alabama…where babies have been substituting for footballs since 1898.
2. Do we feel confident about mom’s catching ability here?
She looks like she’s prepared to block Daniel Larusso’s crane kick.
3. The youngest boy is clearly pooing as the photo is taken.
Dad: “His poo is so much better than an Auburn baby’s poo!”
4. The baby is wearing a houndstooth bandanna.
Otherwise, who the baby football is rooting for might be unclear.
You’d think once the baby was chosen to be a football, what it’s wearing would be secondary.
Not in Alabama.
5. The dad is wearing a Bama Swag t-shirt.
These shirts exist.
So guys like this, with chinstrap beards and shorts that touch the tops of their tennis shoes, will buy them.
In fact, I don’t think you’re allowed to buy this shirt unless you have a chinstrap beard and shorts that touch your shoes.
It isn’t allowed.
6. This guy outkicked his coverage.
I know, I know, I’m not a tattoo guy, but mom’s still cute, right?
This is why people move to the South.
Even this guy can outkick his coverage.
7. You know some of those tattoos on dad are Bama fan tattoos.
How many Bamam tattoos does he have?
Over/under is three.
8. Odds these kids all have the same dad?
(Yes, I picked 14% to honor all the Bama “national titles.”)
9. The youngest girl refused to wear crimson, sticking to pink instead.
This means she will go to college.
10. It’s possible this is not a mom and dad throwing the baby football.
These could be seven siblings, ranging in age of 24 to 1.
This would be an upset, but it’s Alabama, is there such a thing as an upset in familial relations? Especially when moms start having kids at 14?
11. This family has to be cousins with the Bama cow pond family, right?
In fact, could this be the baby from the pregnant Bama fan couple?
Has it already been seized by the state and given to another Bama fan family to raise?
It’s definitely possible.
Did I miss anything?
Hop in the comments below.
And remember, at OKTC we ridicule all awkward fan photos equally.
Humor doesn’t discriminate — although it does feature Kentucky and Alabama fans at alarming frequency.
As always, feel free to share your awkward fan photos by emailing or tweeting them to me. firstname.lastname@example.org or the Twitter feed on the right side of the page, @claytravisbgid.