Are you a sports addict?

Written by Aaron B. 

In May, my little brother graduated from Mizzou. He majored in finance and was somehow able to immediately find a job in his field at an investment firm, albeit part time. He was so excited and 100% determined to prove himself in order to get a full time position. But then his determination dropped when he was told they expected him to work Sundays. Being a lifelong Chiefs fan who hasn’t missed a game in years, would he dare ask off for one of the only three days a week he is expected to work, at a job he just started? Was he going to let every other part time employee working there take a big lead over him for a full time position? Or was he going to put his career first? 

Don’t get used to hearing this, but the Chiefs won. He told his new boss that he wasn’t going to be able to work on Sundays when the Chiefs were at home because he needed to go to the games. But to prove his “commitment” to the firm, he told them he would DVR the away games and would come into work on those days. That was actually a pretty big sacrifice for him. When he told me this I swelled up with pride. I thought to myself, “That is my little brother, and that is our team.” But later I started to question if there is something wrong with us. This can’t be mentally healthy behavior. He put his career in the back seat for the Kansas City Chiefs, and I thought it was a commendable choice. Did I mention, this is the Chiefs we’re talking about? 

Dr. Drew defines addiction by the amount and severity of consequences your addiction has caused in your life. If that is the case, my brother and I are definitely sports addicts. And we are both guilty on several counts- some far more extreme than the example above. Here is a quiz to give you a better idea of how much control sports have over you. 

If your answer to a question is yes, add the stated amount to your score. If your answer is only no because you haven’t done it yet but believe you would, add half the stated amount to your score. My score is a 60. Let’s see if you can beat that.

1. Have you lied to a significant other for sports? Add 5.

2. Have you lost a significant other over sports? Add 10.

3. Have you been reprimanded at work for anything sports related? Add 5

4. Have you been fired over anything sports related? Add 10

5. Have you skipped a wedding for a sporting event? Add 5

6. Have you skipped a funeral for a sporting event? Add 15

7. Have you skipped at least 5 family functions for sports? Add 5

8. Have you broken promises to children because of sports? Add 10

9. Have you ever cried at the end of a season? Add 10

10. Has a quick suicidal thought snuck into your head after a depressing loss? Add 5

11. Have you seriously contemplated suicide for something sports related? Don’t add anything. Go get help now. 

12. Do you have another addiction that you use to cope with the stresses of your sports addiction (stress eating, drinking, heroin, etc.)? Add 10

13. Do you tell people you don’t love that you love them after a big win? Add 5

14. Have you been in a physical fight over sports? Add 10

15. Have you ever been hospitalized due to your reaction to a sporting event? Add 10

Now add your score.

0-25:  You’re not an addict. You’re barely even a fan. Example: The Kardashians

26-50:  You’re approaching addiction. Probably closer to an annoying fanatic than an addict. Example: Spike Lee 

51-75:  Now we’re getting to the people with serious issues. You’re definitely an addict, but at least I’m proud of you. Example: Half of Philadelphia

76-100:  Truly disturbed you hope for opposing injuries and have contemplated Tonya Harding-ing somebody for your team. Example: Gunter Parche