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My wife needed a night like that

I woke up at some point around 1:30 this morning and my wife wasn’t home. Let me tell you how many times that has happened over the 12 years we’ve been married — I’m fairly sure it’s never happened! I’m pretty sure she didn’t roll through that front door until after 2 a.m.

After two years of COVID cancellations, the Backstreet Boys finally honored their 2020 show on a Thursday night as a bunch of suburban moms were finally rewarded with their wild night out singing along to all their favorite hits from when they were 15.

Trust me, I was fist pumping at the thought of my wife dancing (probably not) along and having fun as the Boys pumped out hit after hit. This time it wasn’t me out having beers in Birmingham or on a golf trip. My wife had gone too long without letting loose and coming home after the bars closed down — she doesn’t drink.

Now she’ll sleep until 10, get up, pack her bags, and off we go into the northern Michigan wilderness.

Ladies, this morning is about you. Treat yourselves. Get to those concerts. Get to those Saturday afternoon pottery sessions. Go tie one on. Let yourself go.

Us men have mastered this stuff to the point where it’s only fair that the pendulum swings back a little bit. We have our golf league nights. We have our golf trip benders where we can barely walk by sunset. We have our Saturdays with buddies cutting down trees and blowing up s–t.

Quick hitters:

• The 5-year-old was an absolute treat with mom gone. No issues with dinner. Actually wanted to go into the stores. No whining. He didn’t even start the “Where’s mom?” routine.

• I’m drawing blanks as to the last time I was at a bar for a 2 a.m. last call.

• I’m not even sure bars are open around here until 2 a.m. these days. Do people even stay up that late to drink like back in the day?

• It’s so true opposites attract. My wife loves going to Backstreet Boys shows. I enjoy small, dark dive bar shows filled with weirdos. Add in a disgusting, sweaty early-to-mid-90s show at Hara Arena (RIP) and I was completely happy. Arena shows don’t interest me. I want the intimacy of a room I can move around in and grab a beer while not missing the action.

• Football starts next Thursday.

• Did you guys see Clay’s golf swing? Scroll down.

• My wife should buy more concert tickets.

Is Michigan weed to blame?

• Michael B. brings up a good point about northern Michigan and the problems this summer with reservations. It might be the weed!

Michael writes:

Saw your post regarding customer service in Northern Michigan. We’ve been going up to the same spot for the last few years and man this year has just been weird. Most of the people working up there have been crazy rude, restaurants closed on random days, road construction everywhere.

During our Fourth of July trip, I think the only person who was hospitable the whole weekend was the retiree checking us in at the golf course. But he was jumping into his 2022 Silverado 2500 Diesel at 11:50 am, so he’s got it figured out. Anyways, I noticed something else on the drive up there. The past few years it’s been micro-breweries and distilleries.

Well this is…. weed shops everywhere! Like everywhere! That may be why your reservations have been lost….. Marge took to large of a dose on her first edible.

Not sure where you and the boys went golfing, but if you were anywhere around Kalkaska, I am blaming the dispensaries. I think in the downtown, out of the 8-10 stores fronts… there are like 4 weed stores.

I knew it couldn’t just be me with the issues up north this summer. This guy might have hit the nail on the head with these people and their edibles. They might be eating pot cookies like they’re Doritos and it’s turning them into mush.

Many of you have told me to out the campground that failed to honor my reservation that was supposed to start tonight because it might save someone else from having the same issue with the campground. It’s a legitimate argument. Here’s what I will do — if you’re going camping east of I-75 anywhere between Grayling and Gaylord, I will tell you the campground via email:

Now, these people up north need to put down the pot cookies. Get it together!

Emerging housing markets

• Galen in Johnson City, TN sent in the following screenshot. I didn’t expect to see Indiana so dominant.

Galen writes:

(I know Clay has read this) and recently came out with the 2022 Summer Emerging Housing Markets.

Well, look at Johnson City, TN at #3 in the nation. I am going to give Screencaps and TNML all the credit for this! Since JCTN made it’s debut in SC/TNML earlier this year, we have blown up!

Joe, you have unleashed the beast and we are here ready to party with y’all. Everybody come visit and enjoy the beautiful people and region! Move here if you fall in love with JCTN…just don’t bring the BS politics that y’all are trying to escape from!

Mega Billions advice

• Jon DeV. writes:

For gods sake Joe, DOT NOT take the Billion on a 20-year payout.  

Stupidest financial advice ever!!!

Take the lump sum, dump into broad-based mutual funds (think S&P 500) and live off the growth.  Let’s say you net $400mm after taxes, S&P 500 averages about 12% annually (for the last 80 years!), you think you could make it on less than 48mm a year?

Summer cocktails

• Chris in Nebraska writes:

Hey Joe,

Jason’s email was a blast from the past and maybe it’s a Midwest thing.  We used to drink a similar concoction that we called a “Strip and Go Naked” the key for us was the pink lemonade frozen concentrate just seemed to hit better than the regular yellow variety.  We were in college/just out when we were drinking these so we always added in a bottle of vodka. 

We’d mix it all up in a 5 gallon igloo/gatorade cooler and it was a great BBQ or lake drink.  In the summertime I definitely find myself drinking more shandys from Leinenkugels.  I do also enjoy a Transfusion which I’ve wrote in about before or a blueberry vodka/soda water with a lime also hits great.

How long until you’re buying a $20 burrito bowl?

And with that, let’s get moving. It’s the final Friday of July. The sun is shining. I need to pack the van to head north. It’s time to crush another day of life.

Enjoy that half-day as you grab lunch and play 18 with the boys.


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Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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